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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to lose my temper with this mum at a school play?

103 replies

CaspianSea · 10/04/2015 19:10

I accompanied friend to her DD's Easter play at primary school. Think jam-packed hall with rows of plastic seats and no leg-room. I'm tall so my knees were touching seat in front. We were near the back. Woman in front of me (young mum also with female friend) kept jumping up and clapping throughout performance (nobody else did this, she seemed overexcited every time her DC came on stage though I thought the loud behaviour a bit vulgar and annoying). She also draped her puffa-jacket over chair so it was on my knees though I didn't mind this. What I minded was every time she flung herself back into chair, her chair rammed painfully into my knees! I couldn't move my chair back as mum behind had child on lap. I whispered 'ouch that hurts' a couple of times then 'please be careful with your chair' but she just glared over shoulder at me, so after the 5th knee-slam I immediately jabbed her in the small of her back with my knee (through the gap in chair). She turned round and glared and I whispered 'please stop banging your chair into my legs'. 5 mins later she did it again so again I kneed her in the back again (hard enough to make her jump). She leapt up and started shouting abuse in my face in middle of performance Shock Lots of swear words and 'stop kicking me you stupid bitch' etc. I replied 'fuck off and sit down' (not proud of myself for swearing but I was caught off gaurd). She then threatened to 'punch your fucking head in' and I told her to sit down and stop slamming chair into my legs, and her friend then grabbed her, forced her back into seat and the children burst into song so peace was temporarily restored. She didn't stand up again but kept scowling at me.
My friend says she is a bitchy mum nobody likes and not to worry about it. But I feel I also behaved badly.

AIBU to think I was justified to react? How would you have handled this?

OP posts:
Starlightbright1 · 10/04/2015 20:37

Well you asked but yes you were unreasonable in the your response

keepsmiling2015 · 10/04/2015 20:49

You purposely kneed her in the back twice, hard enough b to make her jump? Are you kidding?

Yes you behaved v badly and you also swore so you can hardly berate her for it. You've definitely come off worse by purposely kneeing someone!!

molyholy · 10/04/2015 20:55

This cannot be real surely!!!!!!

alwaysstaytoolong · 10/04/2015 21:07

What the hell is going on on MN today?. Are all these thread started by the same person?.

exmrs · 10/04/2015 21:12

Why wasn't the police called if someone was threatening to punch someone?
Yes she was in the wrong but you had no need to retaliate , why didn't you move seats or stand at the back.

Both as bad as each other and should be ashamed

MaudGonneAway · 10/04/2015 21:16

I'm surprised anyone was watching the unfortunate children on stage. Was everyone shouting 'FIGHT! FIGHT!'?

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 10/04/2015 21:22

I think it was 'six of one and half a dozen of the other' as my Mum used to say. Then she would say 'I will bang your heads together

You must be one of my sisters Sparkling. The younger Manhattan, I'll be bound. You owe me a candlestick and a jar of that funny butter stuff.

P.s. 'I've got eyes in the back of my head' was another one.

Oh yes, OP. Dreadful behaviour from both of you.

Sparklingbrook · 10/04/2015 21:24

Only if she then said 'i will give you something to cry about' Manhattan. Grin

soverylucky · 10/04/2015 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arsenic · 10/04/2015 21:33

There's just been an 'I posted this for a joke' confession on the other thread.

Just saying.

Jux · 10/04/2015 21:37

Perhaps this is why in all dd's schools the instructions were one ticket per family. Not that anyone paid attention to it.

dexter73 · 10/04/2015 21:48

Do things like this really happen in real life?Hmm

NotallTravellersarebad · 10/04/2015 21:57

If this happened, keep well away from the next performance!
If it didn't happen, yanbu for making up something mildly entertaining Wink

Charlotte3333 · 10/04/2015 22:02

My god, best thing that ever happened at one of DS1's school plays was when Joseph puked all over Baby Jesus in the manger last Christmas.

I always miss the good fights.

Patapouf · 11/04/2015 20:13

What's an Easter play? Crucifixion and resurrection?

Link to confession thread please?

pinningwobble · 12/04/2015 06:45

Lord alive. 'Dreadful behaviour'.

Some of you have lead extremely coveted lives.

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 12/04/2015 07:00

A young mum wearing a puffa jacket acting in a vulgar manner?

Ding ding ding!

TheRealAmandaClarke · 12/04/2015 07:02

a puffa jacket?
In this weather?
Shock

GlitzAndGigglesx · 12/04/2015 07:15

I wouldn't have someone knee me twice in the back because they're too big for the chair. I bet it was really entertaining though

Bettercallsaul1 · 12/04/2015 07:17

Easter play, eh? Nice to hear that it was watched in true Christian spirit!

Seriously, though, OP, she did egg you on!

ArcheryAnnie · 12/04/2015 07:31

Do grownups really voluntarily attend the school plays of children that are not their own?

sandgrown · 12/04/2015 07:41

Not the end of the world and the children probably did not notice! Swearing at her probably not a good idea but can all the people on here honestly say they never lose their temper?

Arsenic · 12/04/2015 21:56

Patapouf It was deleted.

It was an AIBU (or rather, an IANBU) about the OP and her friend taking up six train seats for themselves, their two toddlers and their bags and refusing to give up a seat to a chap when he asked.

Many many pages then 'I posted this for a joke' quickly degenerating into 'Yous are a bunch of cunts' Hmm

BiscuitMillionaire · 12/04/2015 22:02

the children burst into song so peace was temporarily restored
that had me LOLing Grin

She sounds like a nasty piece of work, but it probably wasn't wise to kick her twice.

Vycount · 12/04/2015 23:01

Wow, that's unbelievably rude - both of you. Were the school staff asleep? I work in schools (lots) and can't work out why you weren't both chucked out.