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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Horrendous morning sickness and partner poaching fish

86 replies

idontknowmyusernameanymore · 09/04/2015 16:07

I am fuming.

I am suffering with horrendous morning sickness to the point I haven't eaten anything in 2 days with the exception of water/vitamin tablets.

I've just been out of the house for around 1-2 hours to sit by the canal at a picnic area to get some fresh air. OH was at home at this time.

I come home and within 5 minutes of me being home he starts to boil fish in milk and make a fish pie. I am literally gagging because of the smell of it. He knows I hate it when NOT pregnant, let alone now when any strong smell is making me vomit. I haven't eaten in two days, I'm doing whatever I can to refrain from being sick and he does this.

Im now sat upstairs with our bedroom door closed and windows open fully but can still smell it.

AIBU in thinking this is so selfish? if he had to do it at all he could of done it when I was out for 2 hours!! Argh Sad Angry

OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 09/04/2015 21:30

NotAnother0ne

Cooking fish in the office microwave is antisocial whether or not anyone is pregnant Angry

sparkysparkysparky · 09/04/2015 21:44

My poor DH who loves cooking tried ever so hard to find things I could eat. He made this fish in ratatouille thing that I could just about manage at the end of my pregnancy. It tasted vile to me but he was so proud of it and so supportive that I couldn't bear to tell him the truth. He still doesn't know and occasionally mentions it with pride.

Original poster
idontknowmyusernameanymore · 09/04/2015 21:59

Thank you everyone for supportive messages Flowers

It still absolutely stinks here. I've managed to keep down half a cheese sandwhich, but my God do I feel ill now.

I've resisted throttling OH, only just. He told me I was treating him unreasonably and with no respect Angry so I went for lovely walk down canal on my own. What trying times these are Confused

Will make doctors appt in morning for sure.

Flowers
OP posts:
queenofthepirates · 09/04/2015 22:05

Vomit in his shoes
That will teach him. I feel your pain.

Lottiedoubtie · 09/04/2015 22:12

Respect?? He cooked fish near the woman who is carrying his child and suffering from bad sickness!? The problem is him. 100%

Is he usually an arse or having an off day?

If at any point you can't keep water down please go to A&E, dehydration in pregnancy is serious- for you far more than for the baby.

Look after yourself it seems he won't Angry

(I speak as a woman who vommed every time she opened a fridge for 4 months straight. My DH was forced into eating ready meals for dinner- cooked at work in his office microwave because I couldn't bear it in the house. He never complained btw. Because he had an ounce of compassion!)

FitzgeraldProtagonist · 09/04/2015 22:13

Omg - worst smell ever. Yanbu

Original poster
idontknowmyusernameanymore · 09/04/2015 22:16

Thank you, I can keep liquids and vitamins down, just not food Star

He's not usually this much of an arse. His point is I didn't ask him not to cook it, I'm being unreasonable by saying that he knew I hated it at the best of times and he knew I can't stomach smells, I forget I have to ask to be considered Hmm

So tempted to LTB today.

OP posts:
MrsMook · 09/04/2015 22:31

DH struggled to understand it first time round. It was rapeseed pollen season and to avoid dry retching while driving, I had to take a breath, jam my foot down to get past the field (and the rubbish dump en route) and get past as soon as possible so I could ventilate the car before I had to breathe again.
I couldn't brush my teeth most days. On many, I couldn't mouthwash either.
I was rarely sick, but constantly, utterly nauseous, desperate with hunger, but utterly repelled by food with a very sensitive gag reaction that would have me retching painfully for ages.
I had a meat aversion that persisted after the nausea faded, and was just about able to contemplate meat again when we had a BBQ at about 24 weeks. I turned around to see DH proudly waving half a cow's rib cage that was dripping in a red marinade. The meat aversion immediately returned for another month and my appetite was utterly wiped out.

Pregnancy sickness and nausea completely change the goal posts on reasonable behaviour.

kiwiquest · 09/04/2015 22:34

Sympathy here. My DH likes his home brew. He put a batch on when I was pregnant and wondered why I just lay on the sofa all afternoon retching. Oh and when my waters broke that was also a good time to brew apparently because I wasn't contracting (yet...) Numpty!!

MrTumblesSpottyHag · 10/04/2015 07:26

OP when you say you're taking vitamins is it the pregnacare ones? Only I've read loads of people online saying they make them feel sick and they've been better once they stopped forcing them down.
Just a thought.

I have massive sympathies for you, it's hell isn't it?
There's a brilliant thread in the pregnancy section on here with some great tips on what foods you might like to try and some lovely supportive posters. I didn't post on there myself because I felt too sick Hmm to concentrate long enough but just reading it through gave me hope and the push to go to my GP and demand meds!

Original poster
idontknowmyusernameanymore · 10/04/2015 13:04

MrTumbles thank you for your thought, I too had heard that so switched brands a couple times but none seem to be having any less effect. I'll just stick with the ones I've got as they're bright pink Grin

I'm going to the doctors today so fingers crossed he will be useful! doesn't usually happen, until I mention I'm a nurse too and know the technobabble he's rambling on about

OP posts:
Original poster
idontknowmyusernameanymore · 10/04/2015 13:05

And as for OH, massive screaming match at 2AM this morning over the fact that I was on 'his' side of the bed and he was shoving me onto mine. Have no idea what has got into him. AngryHmm

OP posts:
redexpat · 10/04/2015 13:13

Has he always been this much of an arse?

MNpostingbot · 10/04/2015 13:15

Been said before. But cheers for the smile the OP gave me.

Thought your issue was you were at home battling sickness whilst DH is sneaking about in his waders at night stealing fish!

Original poster
idontknowmyusernameanymore · 10/04/2015 13:28

I wouldn't be mad if he was sneaking about in waders, that's hilarious Grin

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 10/04/2015 13:32

Oh the lovely morning sickness.
Your baby will be fine.
I survived 5 months on orange juice ice lollies and sugary tea (although the tea only stayed down after a couple of months)
You could try ice lollies if the thought doesn't make you want to barf.
I couldn't eat a thing.
But my DD is now 17 and absolutely fine!
The screaming at you in the night is not sounding good TBH.

PeppermintPasty · 10/04/2015 13:39

Well, I read your thread title and thought it was one of those fictional threads, this one being written in the character of that girl on Poldark whose husband got sent down for poaching. I genuinely did.

Hope the fact that I am a twat has cheered you up.

mawbroon · 10/04/2015 13:53

Oh dear Sad

Hope you feel a bit better soon Flowers

On a practical note, fill a bowl with some water, chuck in some slices of lemon and microwave on full power for around 10 minutes. It really helps shift the smell, even if the fish wasn't microwaved.

Or if you can't stomach that, get him to do it.

Crossfitmyarse · 10/04/2015 13:56

Oh. I see. Blush I came on here thinking he was 'poaching fish' as in nicking them from lakes on private land where he had no right to fish.

And I was wondering what on earth that had to do with your morning sickness and why you would bother to start a thread moaning about two such weirdly unconnected things simultaneously. Grin

Gunpowder · 10/04/2015 14:00

YANBU! DH was not even allowed to open the fridge when I had HG in my first pregnancy. Defo see GP for anti emetics.

monkeysox · 10/04/2015 15:04

Ffs what a dick

PHANTOMnamechanger · 10/04/2015 15:08

I've only read the OP but had to post in sympathy.

I just about turn green at the memory of being 6/7 weeks pg and staying in a fishing port where DH bought kippers as a treat for himself. I hate them at the best of times. That was the first time in that pg I actually threw up. And went on to have hyperemesis which lasted a full 24 week. Bleurgh!

Look after yourself OP

Lottiedoubtie · 10/04/2015 15:14

He shouted at his sick, pregnant, wife at 2am?

That's abusive. Sad

You say he isn't normally an arse OP- if that's really true, time for a cards on the table chat at a calm moment? He cannot begin treating you like this just because you are vulnerable, it's despicable.

AlpacaMyBags · 10/04/2015 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JigsawsAreAllLittlePieces · 10/04/2015 16:00

And as for OH, massive screaming match at 2AM this morning over the fact that I was on 'his' side of the bed and he was shoving me onto mine. Have no idea what has got into him.

Oh this is not good. :(