To think if all you want to do is stick the knife in then wind your bloody necks in.

[TheoriginalLEM]

Blatant Taat but it doesn't matter what thread, its been deleted now.

A young (ish) mum comes to mnet looking for support. Describes a pretty unideal start to her dc's life but has pulled things back. Is now struggling with what many many parents struggle with - bad behaviour and feeling overwhelmed.

People couldn't wait to tell her how disgusted they were. She clearly needed support. self esteem on the floor but really trying to sort things out.

hounded from the boards by a group of judgemental posters with nothing more helpful to add than "your poor child"

i hope they feel proud of themselves.

Wasn't that thread but I really don't agree but let's not go there as I got to involved first time round

That Au Pair thread was pretty good. Worse things they've done or something. Not what you expect

Possibly LEM re pnd, or normal depression, in the fil thread. Hmm, maybe I should be more understanding. But in 12 odd pages when 99% of the posters disagree with the OP, then she comes back in breezily posting and latching on to the one person who has told her she's right, dismissing everyone else's commenrs, well, it just is so annoying, I want to come back and be really rude. I restrain myself mainly.

I wish I had seen the one you are talking about. I got myself into a spot of bother over PMing once and swore I wouldn't pm anymore..but now, if someone is getting a hard time and I don't think its right I do a quick supportive 'hope you're ok, don't take it to heart' kind of PM, and hope it helps. I don't often though.

On the thread OP is talking about it became very clear that the person posting was very depressed.
Some people just kept on and on kicking her.
The liveliness and irreverence on here makes it fun-but some people just don't know when to stop.

Fred abaht a Fred
Innit

yes Ronald, blatantly

I know LEM but I couldn't resist

I missed whichever thread that was completely. Arse.

I really cringe when I see a first time poster on AIBU though. I know it's not their fault but I just feel like someone new and fragile is so at risk on here. We have that warning at the top saying something about how AIBU shouldn't be a pit of cuntiness, but I feel like it should say something more like "AIBU is a pit of cuntiness so pls take this as a forewarning".

I think AIBU could be deleted - there's too much of a culture of cuntiness here, it filters in to other topics - which people also don't use properly, and then you get people having to 'post for traffic'.

I said cuntiness a lot. Cunt.

Oh, we don't even have that little banner about not being a cunt anymore. Shows how much attention I pay.

You can't really tell whether someone is a real first time poster or a name changing GF though.

I haven't been on this website in an age but for a while back there I got very in to it but, I don't think anyone who has had their own thread hasn't had some measure of abuse. I was lucky enough to have a support network outside of this website and realised I could simply switch it off and go back to real life. That all said it has opened my eyes to just how many people don't have that and how to them this interaction is a lifeline at most and at least a sounding board that they might not ordinarily have

There's a definite sheep effect often. As has been pointed out, posts often follow the trend of the first few. However, it fairly regularly happens that, say, you get the first few posts attacking OP and around 30 more join in enthusiastically. Then some brave soul pops up and says, actually, OP INBU, and the attackers round on her. But then a couple more, emboldened by the first dissenter, come in to agree with OP, and a few more follow them. Some of the attackers carry on but then find themselves the subject of vociferous disagreement and start making baffled looking defensive posts, and soon the virtually the whole thread is supporting OP. It's really quite entertaining to watch the process happening.

One of the worst examples of what you describe icimoi is when a poster apologises mid-thread, but still more people pile in and hack lumps out of them. One after the other

A recent thread I'm talking about was only 3 pages so it was hardly 2 hours' worth of reading to wade through.

That said, there are some very very irritating threads at the moment

really must get a life outdoors this time of year

i know the thread you are talking about and i wrote a response three times but deleted it as i have to admit my overall thought was for the child who had a hard start and from the information on the thread was continuing to have an unhappy present. i found it hard to be sympathetic so backed off as i felt i couldn't add anything constructive to the thread.

It really was a beautiful day today

I did what you did mommy. I spend more time typing and deleting, than I do posting these days!

Yes Idkick it was lovely, wasn't it .

BowlersArm You have completely rewritten the FIL thread. Noone, not one single person, said the OP was being reasonable INCLUDING THE OP. She was being unreasonable and would have benefited from some constructive advice (which she did get from a few posters)
I thought it was disgusting how the OP was attacked on that thread. She was told she was suffering from depression and that she was unhinged, irrational and lots of other very unpleasant things. Regardless of whether she was right or wrong with her 'hatred' of her FIL I don't think she deserved the very personal attacks.

It was really nasty bullying behaviour. It's a shame you can't see that.

Recently had training on e-safety. The stuff on cyber-bulllying was quite scary. The pile in. And then I realise it happens so often on mumsnet!

Name changed as I'm a regular poster but have an issue I want to post about, but in all honestly, am worried about the responses I will get as I really can't be mentally taking on any more arseholes.

I'm in a bit of a bad place myself too so feel sorry for the person OP was talking about.

Not nice and IMO the bloodbaths are getting much worse :(

Go for it Agedoesntmatter. Set it up on a new email address and then delete when you're done, don't overthink it.

Good luck. And fuck 'em if it doesn't go well. It's not real life.

I've just come fresh from the don't eat in the supermarket, the headmistress at my old girls school wouldn't like it thread

ResurrectandESF

Leave home, change the locks, do it now or I will tell you how pathetic you are for not taking the advice that I can give while still in my perfect little marriage bubble.

Yup, that's exactly my sentiment too. I once remarked on a thread, 'Why is LTB the standard response to relationship difficulties ?' the standard response, from their happily single or happily coupled point of view was to shout, as a knee jerk reaction LTB.

Although I find it heartening that LTB has become the now tongue in cheek refrain ! MN isn't as out of control as it veers towards at times. I still can't detect a namechanger just by posting style especially if they are a sock puppet. I can't detect the men posting using genderless names, unless they say they are. Also, is FFJ really posting on this site using a genderless name ?

There's also a, 'I'll tell the teacher' mentality among those who consider it their job to police the threads by reporting posters to MN.

I thought the original thread was accompanied by the "he's gone now" follow-up. If it is that one, OP did get a raw deal but no more than most on AIBU