Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if all you want to do is stick the knife in then wind your bloody necks in.

123 replies

TheoriginalLEM · 05/04/2015 17:36

Blatant Taat but it doesn't matter what thread, its been deleted now.

A young (ish) mum comes to mnet looking for support. Describes a pretty unideal start to her dc's life but has pulled things back. Is now struggling with what many many parents struggle with - bad behaviour and feeling overwhelmed.

People couldn't wait to tell her how disgusted they were. She clearly needed support. self esteem on the floor but really trying to sort things out.

hounded from the boards by a group of judgemental posters with nothing more helpful to add than "your poor child" Hmm

i hope they feel proud of themselves.

OP posts:
Dr0pThePirate · 05/04/2015 18:09

What happened on that thread LEM?

There's a bit of a funny one about easter eggs at the moment. Lots of posters rushing to put the boot in about fillip in' easter eggs!

This place can go from zero to weird in seconds though Confused

thornrose · 05/04/2015 18:12

There's a fair bit of goady fuckery and putting the boot in today.

emotionsecho · 05/04/2015 18:12

Sometimes threads descend so fast into the 'baying mob' style of posting that it is difficult to get in and shout 'stop' as it just gets lost in the melee.

You're right Mrs OPs engage with the shouters to try and defend themselves which is natural as we all try to defend ourselves against attack, I only hope they do also see and read the reasonable posts even if they don't engage with them on the thread.

ResurrectAndEatShitChoc · 05/04/2015 18:13

It's funny as I have an Easter egg one and people are saying there shouldn't be a cut off age for them. This is in chat btw

And then you go to one in AIBU and it all why do adults want chocolate eggs, grow up etc

SummerHouse · 05/04/2015 18:13

thornrose that comment makes me want to run into random threads and shout "come on its EASTER"

I actually spat on my phone it so amused me.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 05/04/2015 18:14

Thank you LEM for agreeing with me there. I don't feel like such a wannabe racist now.

ResurrectAndEatShitChoc · 05/04/2015 18:14

Spoke too soon and someone has accidentally wandered in to my thread thinking it was a AIBU come kick me thread Grin

daisychain01 · 05/04/2015 18:18

Wow I don't have a clue which thread it was, must have missed it completely but it sounds horrible.

I find it sad that the received wisdom is for people to give support, be nice to each other and that ripping into someone just isn't acceptable, yet it doesn't seem to stop these sort of "blood bath" situations happening from time to time.

IME the trigger points tend to be

  • the OP coming on and asking for advice, being told by about 95% of posters that they ABU and need to do x, y and z and the OP just carrying on as if nobody had posted anything

-the OP becoming rude, abusive or ungrateful for the inordinate amount of time and effort being invested by people to no avail.

  • the OP doing something that is massively selfish or unkind, posting all the details like a badge of honour and people being outraged at their bad behaviour and posters not being able to stop themselves from getting wound up (OK they should hide the thread but we're all human)
FiveExclamations · 05/04/2015 18:18

We used to call it the "Mexican Wave" effect at work, once someone had broken the ice and said something nasty a load would join the wave and it would spread through the factory floor, not all on the same subject or directed against the same person. Those were the fun days to work in HR.

You'd get a certain amount of nice waves as well. Group psychology can be very interesting, though not if you're the person folks are turning on.

Dr0pThePirate · 05/04/2015 18:19

EatShit - Oh yeah!Grin I just had a look.

Tut, you're so immature!

Goldenyellowhibiscus · 05/04/2015 18:22

What is annoying though daisy is when an op explains she can't do something and is berated for that.

One that made me go cold was one where a woman had given away a colleagues coat to a charity shop when clearing out her late fathers belongings and that thread went a shade beyond vile.

TurnItIn · 05/04/2015 18:23

Oh honestly, if people are being nasty cunts then it's perfectly acceptable to tell them to pack it in. It was ever thus, MN is self moderating - so when someone is getting a kicking report the kickers and also pipe up on the thread.

RJnomore · 05/04/2015 18:25

LEM, I saw the thread I think and it was going ok at that point.

Shame it all went pear shaped. Again.

MetallicBeige · 05/04/2015 18:30

Initiation? Fuck that.
How about showing a bit of kindness and if it looks like a troll report. Easier said than done for the salivating hysterical bellends that pop up just to stick the boot in, they never offer anything constructive just harsh words.

Agree with so many of the above posters, I'd love to meet some of these Beryl-Ten-Men in real life, bet they're all meek and shy really. Get them on MN and they're chomping at the bit to release pent up rage on anybody they deem weaker, and desperate to be in with the crowd.

MetallicBeige · 05/04/2015 18:32

Derek I've not joined in, but I liked your thread. There should never be a cut off for chocolate, yer ma is obviously toxic and you should go no contact immediately.
If she tries to buy you with confectionary, let her. Easter Grin

Unescorted · 05/04/2015 18:35

Troll threads could be used for a public service - a place for ranty replies to left...

Original poster
TheoriginalLEM · 05/04/2015 18:54

over the years ive had support for my dd's late speech development, PND, debt, health scares and depression. I have learnt not to post anything in if im likely to get upset and never ever post on relationships. my biggest faux pas was to post about giving my dp a bj for going out at 11pm to get me a big mac ( my poor dp's ears must have been ringing that night!)

the ltb threads when posters turn on the op for not immediately packing a bag and leaving when its blatantly not possible are the ones that get me.

OP posts:
ResurrectAndEatShitChoc · 05/04/2015 18:56

Leave home, change the locks, do it now or I will tell you how pathetic you are for not taking the advice that I can give while still in my perfect little marriage bubble.

Dr0pThePirate · 05/04/2015 19:01

when posters turn on the op for not immediately packing a bag and leaving when its blatantly not possible

Those threads are chilling. Especially when there is DV involved and posters come along to bully the OP then very quickly turn to "well it's you funeral Hmm" if the OP shows any hesitation. It's frightening how people can be so nasty as soon as someone shows how vulnerable they are.

Mrsfrumble · 05/04/2015 19:02

I was on the thread you mention LEM. There was someone who posted a couple of times to say that they "had no time for people like the OP". Really? Why not fuck off then?

It was grim, poor woman.

thornrose · 05/04/2015 19:02

Glad to be of service summer Grin

MetallicBeige · 05/04/2015 19:04

Grin LEM I remember that thread well, I namechange fairly frequently, but I woz there and you got roasted. Glad you survived it, now if there was ever a candidate for the 'lighthearted' disclaimer... Wink

I love if the op doesn't return to the thread within two seconds and answer each and every post in a systematic manner they are accused of flouncing/not liking what they hear/can't take the truth etc.
A bemused op will appear a couple of hours later stating they've been to work/walked the dog/been on the school run, y'know normal day to day time consuming things?
But that ain't good enough, if you start a thread asking for advice from the MN oracles you must be prepared to attach yourself to an internet device for as long as it takes for them to chew you up and get bored of you, forgo real life. It's the rules.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 05/04/2015 19:10

Agree. I posted on the thread in question last night after it had got all op bashing. I always assume that people who see things as black and white with no middle ground are a bit hard of thinking. Not fair on a vulnerable newbie though.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 05/04/2015 19:16

I didn't see the thread but I think there are too many of these lately. It's bullying imo.

ChestyNut · 05/04/2015 19:16

Didn't see the thread but have noticed people being start over nothing recently.

Let's all be nice.