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AIBU?

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Original poster

From wedding planning to splitting up

77 replies

Thailandthailand · 03/04/2015 23:36

so i posted earlier about DP having gone off in a major mood about the fact that I had picked two toe nails and was about the put them in the bin but he decided that I was never going to get rid of them and did it for me - he consequently went off in a mood, went to bed and refused to talk to me like a six year old

Anyway I went upstairs like the good little woman and said I wanted to sort things out, stroked his ego a bit, said I didn't want us to fall out etc ...

Long and short of it is that he's now decided that we should split up completely. We've gone from planning a wedding reception to "we'll never work, I want to split up".

I'm confused and upset, devestated, bitter (I've let go MUCH more incriminate stuff from him (hook up sites etc) )) and I'm just feeling so deflated. I thought we'd be booking our wedding tomorrow, looks like I'll be searching Right Move.

AIBU to think he's being a nob of the highest order? why can't we just talk it over like a normal couple????

OP posts:
DragonMamma · 03/04/2015 23:38

From your other two posts this evening, which I just read, I think he's doing you both a favour - you sound horribly mis-matched.

Hope you see this after a good old cry.

SoMauve · 03/04/2015 23:38

I would have a Brew, sleep on it and see how things are in the morning.

CliveCussler · 03/04/2015 23:40

Why start a new thread?

I think your questions are answered on the other two you started earlier and never came back to.

ChipDip · 03/04/2015 23:41

Why aren't you replying to your other threads?

Maliceaforethought · 03/04/2015 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FarFromAnyRoad · 03/04/2015 23:43

Two toenails? They're multiplying ffs. Soon you'll have a row of ten, a line of empty bottles, streaks of mascara running down your face and no wedding to plan. THEN what are you going to post about?

kitnkaboodle · 03/04/2015 23:44

Sounds like he was maybe brooding on some doubts n then visiting the wedding venue today kind of brought them into sharp focus. The toenail thing was just an excuse to vent ..

WyldChyld · 03/04/2015 23:45

I hate to say this but I think this is a good thing in the long run as from what you've posted, your relationship was doomed. I really am sorry that this has happened but this sounds like a total car crash, particularly with what you have posted here

SoMauve · 03/04/2015 23:45

I think there's a C&W song about that, Far.

WorraLiberty · 03/04/2015 23:46

What Far said.

OP you could have kept all this on the one thread and replied to people who actually answered you.

Either way, nothing you have posted points to you two being compatible so whilst you're feeling hurt now, it's probably best in the long term for both of you.

SolidGoldBrass · 03/04/2015 23:47

Bloody hell, splitting up with you is the nicest thing he's done for you! A nastier man would have let you carry on with your wedding plans purely for the fun of watching you turn yourself inside out trying to a) make a Perfect Day and b) try to placate him every time he decides to torment you about it.
This relationship clearly isn't working: cut your losses and start looking for somewhere else to live.

ilovemargaretatwood8931 · 03/04/2015 23:47

I'm sorry for you OP. Flowers Breaking up is painful and hard.

Having read your other threads, and now this, and hearing about hook ups etc, it sounds as if the relationship and he is not great for you.

Is there anything to actually talk over though? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who loves and respects you more?

Koalafications · 03/04/2015 23:48

3 threads within about an hour complaining about your DP and you aren't replying? I can see why your DP finds you hard work, TBF.

FarFromAnyRoad · 03/04/2015 23:50

If there's not mauve then there should be. How are your songwriting skills? Grin

Original poster
Thailandthailand · 03/04/2015 23:50

I am replying, TBF

OP posts:
GlitterTwinkleToes · 03/04/2015 23:52

Sounds like a car crash waiting to happen.
OP You may not realise it yet, but this could be the best outcome for the both of you.

PterodactylTeaParty · 03/04/2015 23:53

I know it doesn't seem like a relief now, OP, but honestly there are relationships out there where you don't have to spend your time massaging the ego of a petulant man-child who undermines your confidence in your career and browses hookup sites. There are. And if you're not with this man, you have a much better future ahead of you and you can find one of those if you want.

Jackw · 03/04/2015 23:56

This is an excellent result for you. He sounds like a complete tosser. Please don't try to talk it over, or behave like some pathetic pushover. Run, run as fast as you can to your new career and hopefully, in the future, a man who will love and respect you properly. Marriages are more than weddings.

SoMauve · 03/04/2015 23:56

There's a pile
In the bathroom
And I'm losing the will
To keep tryin and tryin
But the Pabst makes me ill

If only the empties wouldn't rack up
This is really a frack up
Black tears runnin and runnin
Like someone's just funnin.

SoMauve · 03/04/2015 23:57

They're a bit shit tbf, Far Grin

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 03/04/2015 23:58

Dafuq Hmm

FarFromAnyRoad · 03/04/2015 23:58

for mauve

When they make the movie of the book of the thread (s) who'll get the part of the toenails? I think, in the right light, I'd make a rather good toenail! Grin

UnsolvedMystery · 03/04/2015 23:59

This would be much easier to keep up with if you kept it all on one thread.

FreudiansSlipper · 04/04/2015 00:00

what a horrible time you are having

sounds as though you are wanting answers and are overwhelmed unsurprisingly I am sure soon you will see things clearer he does not sounds to be a supportive partner

and ignore those going on about other threads, so what you have asked another question and not replied to all answers you have enough confusion in your life at the moment without others questioning you

maybe ask to have this moved to relationships

Dowser · 04/04/2015 00:01

My marriage ended the night I said ' it's our 30 th anniversary next year , what about renewing our vows in Vegas? In a little wedding chapel? In front of Elvis?

Nooooooo! He said

Was it Vegas? No, he liked a little flutter, he would quite enjoy that.
The little wedding chapel? Hmmmm, wouldn't have thought so. Not like it was our real wedding!

It must be Elvis then!

Nope...it was me!

Making a deeper commitment brought it all to a head.

Get his bags packed. You've dodged a bullet.

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