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AIBU?

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Original poster

From wedding planning to splitting up

77 replies

Thailandthailand · 03/04/2015 23:36

so i posted earlier about DP having gone off in a major mood about the fact that I had picked two toe nails and was about the put them in the bin but he decided that I was never going to get rid of them and did it for me - he consequently went off in a mood, went to bed and refused to talk to me like a six year old

Anyway I went upstairs like the good little woman and said I wanted to sort things out, stroked his ego a bit, said I didn't want us to fall out etc ...

Long and short of it is that he's now decided that we should split up completely. We've gone from planning a wedding reception to "we'll never work, I want to split up".

I'm confused and upset, devestated, bitter (I've let go MUCH more incriminate stuff from him (hook up sites etc) )) and I'm just feeling so deflated. I thought we'd be booking our wedding tomorrow, looks like I'll be searching Right Move.

AIBU to think he's being a nob of the highest order? why can't we just talk it over like a normal couple????

OP posts:
ChangingTiming · 04/04/2015 00:01

This could have been updates on your other thread surely? Why the new one.
Oh and you need to keep track of your toenails, each time you tell the story you're adding a toenail.

Anyway sounds as though you'd be better off apart.

SoMauve · 04/04/2015 00:01

In light of your nn I can only see you as Matthew MCConananananaughey, so you have the part of The Vest.

It's a good part, you're in every scene Smile

Eggynuff · 04/04/2015 00:01

Hurrah.

At least one of you is talking sense now.

Totality22 · 04/04/2015 00:02

I thought it was just one toenail you picked?

DragonsCanHop · 04/04/2015 00:04

He is running scared of something, I think it is your obsession with planning the wedding.

Sorry

FarFromAnyRoad · 04/04/2015 00:05

I'd do Matthew McConnaughey's vest any time!

SoMauve · 04/04/2015 00:10

You were born to play it, darling!

OP, Brew Flowers. Sleep on it, things sound very fraught.

WicksEnd · 04/04/2015 00:16

What a shock you must have had OP.

Some bloody awful, shameful responses on here Confused. Why the vitriol everybody, FFS, she's had a massive shock, cut her some slack.

Eggynuff · 04/04/2015 00:20

OP you have three different threads about this yet have only posted a total of five times. People cannot help you if you won't engage with them.

Lweji · 04/04/2015 00:23

I've let go MUCH more incriminate stuff from him (hook up sites etc) )

And you think he should be thankful?

Why are/were you with him, FGS? Just so that you can marry?

Count your blessings and walk away to the arms of someone who actually wants to be with you, only you, and treats you with respect.

Lweji · 04/04/2015 00:25
UghReally · 04/04/2015 00:27

I'd be jumping for joy if such a twunt walked out of my life

26Point2Miles · 04/04/2015 00:41

Op is probably trying to talk him round or something

passthewineplz · 04/04/2015 00:42

He doesn't want to get married, that's why he's causing petty arguments, not being supportive about your job, and using dating & hook up sites. If you do end up getting married he's behaviour will get worse.

Run for the hills and LTB!

Coyoacan · 04/04/2015 00:46

Some bloody awful, shameful responses on here

Really if people have nothing kind or helpful to say, they should post elsewhere.

OP, I do think that this is all for the best. And maybe you have to reconsider your boundaries. Of course, in any relationship, there are things we have to put up with, but it does sound like your boundaries are much too lax.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/04/2015 01:01

Take this chance and run! He's a knob of the highest order, all right, and whether or not you are hard work is pretty much irrelevant at this point - you should not get married to him!

He's testing to see how much shit you will put up with. If you put up, shut up, try to appease - he's got you where he wants you. You work hard to reconcile, he decides that "Ok, he'll think about it, oh all right then since it means so much to you" and then Bam! You're on the back foot the whole time and he can do pretty much exactly what he likes because he knows you'll put up with it.

Please just tell him to fuck off now.

paxtecum · 04/04/2015 01:17

Love, you are getting a lucky escape.
Your DP sounds awful.

He really doesn't want to get married.

It would be easier if you posted in Relationships, as you may get less sarcastic replies.

Ratfinkandbobo · 04/04/2015 01:18

Op, I hope you drank the bottle of red!

fuctifino · 04/04/2015 02:48

Look on the bright side, at least you haven't put a deposit down on the venue.

Run for the hills and don't look back!!

KatieKaye · 04/04/2015 04:00

TBH it sounds as if you have been thinking more about the wedding than the relationship.

noodle8000 · 04/04/2015 04:08

Sounds a lot like my ex-fiancé. Dodged a major bullet when we broke it off shortly before the wedding . Didn't realize it at the time but I would be mortified to be married to him now. Met my husband a few years after that and we've been happily married for six years.

SanityClause · 04/04/2015 07:11

Please post in relationships. AIBU can bring out some really horrid posts. And this is bad enough without dealing with nastiness from Internet randommers.

CrystalCove · 04/04/2015 07:59

Yes post in relationships and engage in one thread, I'm puzzled about the different threads when essentially its all about the same thing.

AyeAmarok · 04/04/2015 10:20

You do not sound well matched at all.

Don't continue to flog a dead horse, it'll ruin your self-esteem. It sounds like your self-esteem is pretty low as it is.

Just walk away. He's told you who he is, listen to him.

Ps, I'd suggest that if "wedding" is this big a deal, the relationship is not all it's cracked up to be anyway.

whiteblossom · 04/04/2015 10:25

Right move gets my vote.

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