From wedding planning to splitting up

[Thailandthailand]

so i posted earlier about DP having gone off in a major mood about the fact that I had picked two toe nails and was about the put them in the bin but he decided that I was never going to get rid of them and did it for me - he consequently went off in a mood, went to bed and refused to talk to me like a six year old

Anyway I went upstairs like the good little woman and said I wanted to sort things out, stroked his ego a bit, said I didn't want us to fall out etc ...

Long and short of it is that he's now decided that we should split up completely. We've gone from planning a wedding reception to "we'll never work, I want to split up".

I'm confused and upset, devestated, bitter (I've let go MUCH more incriminate stuff from him (hook up sites etc) )) and I'm just feeling so deflated. I thought we'd be booking our wedding tomorrow, looks like I'll be searching Right Move.

AIBU to think he's being a nob of the highest order? why can't we just talk it over like a normal couple????

Dowser, I hope you still went to Vegas (or another fab holiday).

If he was crazy about you he would have found even your crusty toenails endearing - let him go, sounds like you've had a lucky escape

It sounds like a lucky escape to be honest OP. Why would you want to marry a man who's been on hookup/dating sites? Find someone who genuinely wants to be with you and loves you. He isn't it.

Why on earth did you ever want to marry someone so short-tempered and sleazy/potentially or actually unfaithful, OP?

There's something odd to me in the way that the wedding, rather than the man you were planning to marry seemed to have taken up most of your thoughts, but you sound ill-matched and the relationship fatally flawed.

Sympathies, OP, but it sounds to me as if this was a disaster waiting to happen. Maybe you should (eventually) feel grateful you have his short fuse to thank for cutting this off before it caused much more unhappiness.

You have mentioned the thing where you 'let it go about hook up sites etc' a couple of times.

You say it as if that was a good thing, something he should value and for which you expected him to be grateful.

It doesn't work like that. By doing that you told him that he can get away with stuff, that you will accept less than other women might.
For some men that tells them that you are worth less, that you are not someone who need to be respected or valued.
So it has the opposite effect.

I think that is how he saw it - that you are easy to keep, easy to please and of less value.

Interesting threads. Not quite sure why all the mentions of the toe nail pickings. But as I said, interesting threads.

He doesn't want to marry you.

And deep down, you don't want to marry him. In years to come, you will look back and think 'thank fuck'.

He uses dating and hook-up sites.
He belittles you.
He doesn't support your career.
He threatens to end things over toenails.

If you had a friend going through this, what would you tell her?

Never mind celebrating planning a wedding, you should celebrate the lucky escape you've just had.

Have you got IRL support?

He doesn't want to marry you, he's a cheater and a petty little wuss who would rather moan about toenails than man up and break up with you.
Sorry.

I think he's trying to tell you something that you don't want to hear. He doesn't want to marry you. The start of wedding planning has just brought it to a head for him. The dating sites might also have been another teeny tiny clue that he wasn't that into you.

LTB. Find someone who deserves you before you sepend all your money on a wedding, swiftly followed by a divorce.

Ah Tanya TBF that's all this thread needs!

Hahahahaha

Thank you Tanya but I think you mean email dipshit@complicated rip offs.com

Tanya maybe your 'boyfreind' didn't want to be with someone called Albert

Dr Ekpiku, any relation to Pikachoo??

Did the spell stop your toenails growing?

Just when you thought things couldn't get any odder along comes Tanya.

Lol at the love spell advert.

OP, move out and count your blessings. Your boyfriend is a twat, and doesn't want to marry you. Don't abase yourself further by pandering to him.

Tanya

AHEM

There is probably a spell for that cough Olivia, just ask Bertie Tanya

Ending a relationship is hard and you'll likely to be in a mix of shock and panic now. Go to sleep, in the spare room, and work things out tomorrow. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a moody bully who doesn't love you, or doesn't treat you with love? In the long term you'll be happier. Be strong and good luck.

I lived with someone for years who would sulk and strop. Once he refused to speak to me from Christmas morning to New year and only after begging him did he finally tell me weeks later the reason. Apparently I had gone to the loo in the night during Christmas eve and he didn't hear me wash my hands afterwards. That is what it was like and luckily I become life threateningly ill with a gangrenous appendix and sepsis and at that point I woke up and realised what the fuck I was doing.

what I wanted to say though is about alcohol and also about how you behave. Looking back we both drank far too much and he initiated that. Everything was either an occasion to be happy and drink or a fuck it I'm angry now so I will drink situation. In time I became like him, the sulking and tantrum ing and constant threats of splitting up and then being let back in made me an addict of the drama.

Nothing will ever excuse that sociopathic piece of shit but I have to say that those negative cycles are addictive.

And sorry op but you did come across as a bit pissed last night.

I really hope things are ok for you but.please think about what you really want. I had the crappiest wedding in history to the nicest, kindest and decent man who ever lived. To think now I almost married.someone who ruined Christmas over hand washing after a wee is incomprehensible.