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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this gay guy should not be surprised discrimination still exists (even in London)

90 replies

OrlandoWoolf · 03/04/2015 20:37

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/gay-man-rejected-from-london-flatshare-because-of-his-sexuality-10154791.html

A gay guy in his late 20s was turned down from a flatshare because on of the flatmates did not want to share with someone who was gay. The person organising it had to send a message to him having to reject him because this guy would not compromise. He was shocked that such attitudes still exist in London.

Welcome to the world. Sorry - it's crap to face rejection if you're white and male and professional. I bet other people have been rejected for being too poor, the wrong religion, female, trans, too old, disabled etc. It must have been an eye opener for you - but yes, discrimination is still alive and kicking. Most people who get rejected from a flatshare don't get to have their story in the paper though.

If people did get to have their story of being rejected for being a member of a minority group in the paper, the papers would be full of such stories.

OP posts:
Boobsofsteel · 03/04/2015 20:40

Are you serious?

SantanaLopez · 03/04/2015 20:40

I don't get your point.

You shouldn't be allowed to point out discrimination against you because other people have it worse?

Eh no.

YABU.

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 03/04/2015 20:43

Yes - there are plenty of people who face daily discrimination - from flatshares, work, jobs etc.

He was "shocked" to find out such attitudes exist. Really - he can point it out - but to be shocked Confused

OP posts:
PHANTOMnamechanger · 03/04/2015 20:43

YABVU.

What are you saying - Discrimination is fine? it happens and he should put up with it? Shrug it off? Hmm
Let's go back to the signs saying "NO BLACKS, NO IRISH" on guest houses too shall we.

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 03/04/2015 20:44

You shouldn't be allowed to point out discrimination against you because other people have it worse

Not have it worse - have it exactly the same on a daily basis - and don't get shocked about it. They get annoyed about it, pissed off about it - but not shocked about it.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 03/04/2015 20:45

I get what you are saying OP. We have all faced discrimination, especially if we are female.

Perhaps you should have posted this in the feminism section.

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 03/04/2015 20:46

What are you saying - Discrimination is fine? it happens and he should put up with it? Shrug it off

No - I am not saying that. I am saying that it's not shocking. It happens - but it's not shocking. I am surprised the message was "he didn't want someone gay in the house" - but you still get people who reject others in a house share for many reasons.

OP posts:
Trills · 03/04/2015 20:46

I am very surprised that they told him that was the reason.

When looking for flatshares I've only ever had vague nn-committal "not the right fit" or "preferred someone else" sorts of reasons.

You have misunderstood. The article doesn't say he was shocked that prejudice exists, he was shocked to receive the message.

textfan · 03/04/2015 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCatsFlaps · 03/04/2015 20:48

YABVVU. Should he be surprised? No, but annoyed, yes - I'd be fucking raging and such disgusting attitudes.

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 03/04/2015 20:48

You only have to look in a flatshare advert site to see who they want and don't want.

No DSS
No unemployed
No women
No men
Nobody over 30
No students
Straight people only.

And yes - there is also sections where you can describe your sexuality.

OP posts:
hedgehogsdontbite · 03/04/2015 20:48

When you personally face blatant discrimination it IS shocking. Even if you know it goes on all the time to other people, it still hits you like a punch in the gut. So yes YABU.

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 03/04/2015 20:49

No, but annoyed, yes - I'd be fucking raging and such disgusting attitudes

Yes - and it happens to loads of LGBT people, disabled people, poor people, black people everyday.

Where are their stories?

OP posts:
PHANTOMnamechanger · 03/04/2015 20:50

It IS shocking that it still happens in 2015 though. I can quite see that a young person may never have had a problem with prejudice towards them because their peers have been laid back. It's illegal to discriminate on the grounds of sexuality (and other things).

26Point2Miles · 03/04/2015 20:50

Why are you in such a tiz over this op??

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 03/04/2015 20:51

The OP says

AIBU to think this gay guy should not be surprised discrimination exists?

So all those who are saying IABU think he should be surprised discrimination exists

OP posts:
soapboxqueen · 03/04/2015 20:51

I think the point was that it was so blatant not that discrimination happens. In fact the guy said he specifically tells potential flatmates that he is gay to avoid having to live with the kind of people who had a problem with it. So he is fully aware of the issues just this incident was so in your face.

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 03/04/2015 20:53

Why are you in such a tiz over this op

Because I know how it feels to face discrimination massively in many areas in life - including in houseshares because of who I am.

But no one cares about it and my story would not get in the paper. He should be so lucky as to "only face rejection from a houseshare". As a white, professional male - he probably won't face much discrimination elsewhere.

OP posts:
chickenfuckingpox · 03/04/2015 20:55

im not surprised discrimination exists it exists everywhere and while its wrong it will always exist in some way shape or form its not really news worthy to be "shocked"

26Point2Miles · 03/04/2015 20:56

So you are jealous of him getting 'in the paper'.... You feel you are more deserving?

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 03/04/2015 20:58

So you are jealous of him getting 'in the paper'.... You feel you are more deserving

No - because of this quote

"The reaction from other people has been the same as mine, people can’t get their heads round how this is happening in London, in 2015"

People can't understand that discrimination exists in London in 2015. They must all be living in a bubble of privilege then. Because there is still massive discrimination out there that happens to many people on a daily basis.

OP posts:
SoupDreggon · 03/04/2015 20:58

The attitude you are conveying is one of "Good! Now he knows what it is like."

26Point2Miles · 03/04/2015 21:01

Oh go on then op... You are clearly dying to tell us your own stories of discrimination, come on then, fill us in

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 03/04/2015 21:02

The attitude you are conveying is one of "Good! Now he knows what it is like

It probably is. White, middle class, professional finally has his bubble burst and recognises that discrimination occurs. Runs to the media to tell his story.

Poor people get kicked out of London because they can't afford to live there. Not newsworthy.

Poor, black man gets rejected from job and ends up in jail because of his race. Not newsworthy.

Muslim woman has her burqa removed in race attack. Not newsworthy.

White male gets rejected for being gay. Get into the paper as "shocked such things still happen in London" Where has he been living?

Try being black in an EDL stronghold.

OP posts:
Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 03/04/2015 21:04

I've PMd you, 26.2 miles.

OP posts:
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