to think this gay guy should not be surprised discrimination still exists (even in London)

[OrlandoWoolf]

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/gay-man-rejected-from-london-flatshare-because-of-his-sexuality-10154791.html

A gay guy in his late 20s was turned down from a flatshare because on of the flatmates did not want to share with someone who was gay. The person organising it had to send a message to him having to reject him because this guy would not compromise. He was shocked that such attitudes still exist in London.

Welcome to the world. Sorry - it's crap to face rejection if you're white and male and professional. I bet other people have been rejected for being too poor, the wrong religion, female, trans, too old, disabled etc. It must have been an eye opener for you - but yes, discrimination is still alive and kicking. Most people who get rejected from a flatshare don't get to have their story in the paper though.

If people did get to have their story of being rejected for being a member of a minority group in the paper, the papers would be full of such stories.

I get what you're saying, OP, about white male privilege. In all fairness the reason this has got in the paper is because he tweeted about it and it went viral, I don't think he went to the press himself.

But I totally get what you're saying about some forms of oppression and prejudice and discrimination being more 'palatable' than others, and some people not having a platform to express what's happening to them. I think we all need to shout a lot bloody louder and more angrily.

I think we all need to shout a lot bloody louder and more angrily

Indeed - there is still a lot of discrimination out there - sometimes as obvious as this but normally less blatant but still as bad.

People don't normally give the real reason why something happened - but you begin to suspect something after a while. Then you come to expect it and get surprised when it doesn't happen.

Well i'm glad its in the paper, i dont care if the story theyre presenting is his faux shock (of course he cant be shocked), if that's what theyve had to do to get it in the papers then so be be it, and i think anyone who experiences any form of discrimination should talk about it, go on twitter, facebook, newspapers, whatever and keep on talking about it until attitudes bloody change. I dont care if he isnt really shocked, i get what he is doing and i support his decision to publicise the discrimination. Keep on talking about it, everyone.

All discrimination must be tackled. All discrimination should be shocking.

There's a nasty undertone to your post OP that I can't quite put my finger on.

You seem almost pleased that he's faced discrimination because he's white and male.

You also seem to think that because other people don't think to contact the paper, or don't get their stories published then he shouldn't either.

Yet you don't know what other discrimination he might have faced in his life for other reasons.

It's weird. I'm just pleased the paper ran the story because it actually is quite shocking that people are so blatantly homophobic.

Other discriminations that happen to other people, doesn't lessen his experience.

^ what Worra said^

So, what I'm hearing is that it's OK because he is white and male and deserves it. Lovely. IMO that makes you no better than the people who discriminate against you.

Discrimination is wrong whoever it is against. To "gloat" about it is despicable.

Anyone who's seriously shocked that homophobia is still alive is very naive, I agree, so YANBU in that respect.

Surprised this has been picked up by the Independent as it seems like a non-story (and that's coming from someone who's been discriminated against regularly). Maybe the journalist knows the chap.

Another "What Worra said"

I agree with Worra the op has a nasty gloating tone to it.

I don't think this man is saying that he has the monopoly on being discriminated against, but to shrug your shoulders and go 'so what, he's white and male, he's got it easy, this doesn't matter.' You however are trying to do this for you and others you identify with.

Tell you what, ask the survivors of the Admiral Duncan nail bombings about their white, male privilege and how it cushioned them from discrimination.

YABU.

Should he just accept it and move on?

And another what Worra said.

That's a goady set of posts from you OP. I'm surprised.

If we stop being surprised and shocked, it means we have become desensitised and accepting. That isn't what we want. We need shock. We need outrage. We NEED people to make a big deal out of these things, because they are a big deal.

He was shocked homophobia still exists in London. He's a gay guy in London who presumably hasn't experienced much homophobia before so yes he's allowed to be shocked when he experiences it for the first time.

I know sexism still exists but haven't personally been the victim of any overt sexism. If it happened my initial emotional reaction would be shock and yes I'd want to kick up a stink about it, why should' I? And why shouldn't he?

YABU

I'd be shocked if I was overtly turned down for a job because I'm a woman. I was shocked when someone told me I had no class because I was English.

It's the fact of someone feeling so righteous about their right to discriminate that they tell you outright that is shocking IMO. Not the fact that discrimination still exists in this world.

Also plenty of gay men and boys face homophobia and discrimination on a daily basis that doesn't make it into the papers. This story just happened to do so.

YABU in my opinion.

Very poor reporting by The Independent. They make the point about discrimination by a landlord, but the article makes it sound very likely that he was rejected by those whom he would be living with, and not necessarily the landlord.

Odd really - why on earth would he mention his sexual orientation when viewing a room in a shared flat? And then tweet about it? Who cares? He could have been rejected for any number of inter-personal reasons and the fact that he is gay (because he mentioned it) stupidly given as a reason by people who simply don't want to live with him.

I recently let out a flat to a gay couple. At no point did they see fit to mention they were gay, although it was reasonably obvious since they would be sharing a bedroom. I think most landlords would be delighted to rent to such tenants, and I really think this is a matter of personalities in a flatshare not being suited, and people trying very hard to prove it is a serious matter of actual discrimination.

Perhaps the other tenants would have been perfectly happy to live with another gay sharer, just not this one? But were unable to articulate that in a text?

yabu
discrimination is wrong

hard is hard, OP. I Don't really believe in a hierarchy of discrimination. Yes, the guy in the story was 'lucky' to have not been discriminated against before and yes, he has a lot of privilege. But that doesn't mean he should just be able to shrug this off.

Discrimination is wrong.
That is not the OP.

The OP is he was surprised to find out discrimination exists in London in the 21st century. Really. All those people who think IABU are also surprised that it exists as well?

The OP is not about him being gay or having his story in the paper. I am surprised it's newsworthy as discriminationTh happens to many many people on a daily basis. You only have to read the stones on here.

But to say he and his friends were surprise shocked wreaks of people who are unaware that daily discrimination happens on a daily basis to many people. Their stories do not get published. Why not?

If you think IABU, then you too must be surprised that discrimination still exists. That is the OP. Not about him being gay, white and male.

Discrimination is wrong. Being surprised it still goes on is incredibly naive. It happens to many people and no one cares to give them a news platform because it's not deemed as news.

So would you have more sympathy for this man if he was a gay black plumber?

YABU to think this guy shouldn't be surprised. There's enough information out there to educate everyone about diversity and to promote tolerance. So there should be surprise when someone in the 21st Century still shows ignorance and discriminates.

Wtf is wrong with you?

A gay black plumber would not be surprised or shocked discrimination exists. Such a person would have been very aware for much of his life of the reality of discrimination and would not be shocked or surprised by it.

Worra

"t's weird. I'm just pleased the paper ran the story because it actually is quite shocking that people are so blatantly homophobic."

Really - that shocks you? What fucking world do you live in? Homophobia exists. People face discrimination for being gay on a daily basis. In some parts of the UK, gay people get faeces put through their door, get ostracised and attacked for being gay. Yet it shocks you people are som openly homophobic.

News - people are openly racist. And sexist. And transphobic. And anti religion. If you get shocked by that, you must be living in a bubble.

At least they had the courtesy to say why the other flatmate didn't want him. In most cases, you just get a feeling. Like when you've had 25 interviews. Real interviews. But you get a rejection. You then ask yourself - is it because of the group I belong to.

Or when you are not asked back to a school despite being a good supply teacher? Is it because of the group you belong to?

Or when a headteacher actually tells you that parents have complained?

Or when you don't even bother applying for flatshares or jobs because you are aware and anticipate reactions and discriimination.

Don't fucking tell me discrimination is wrong. I know all about discrimination. It happens to me and many other people on a daily basis and our stories don't get published.

If you are surprised that homophobia and other forms of discrimination still exist in the UK - then you must be living in a very privileged bubble.

I've known a teenage female student punched in the face for just being gay. A lot of stuff like happens on a very regular basis and it is horrific, and deserves outrage just as racism, or discrimination against anyone for any reason does. Nobody should ever stop being shocked and outraged. What would you prefer? That he just quietly shuffle off saying oh well, I'll accept it because 'it happens'? Sounds like you are almost feeling some schaudenfraude over this. and That's crazy.