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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Come around for dinner they said…

86 replies

itosh · 02/04/2015 17:25

So we have friends that live forever away (well not that far maybe an hour ). It has been a long day but our friends were very keen we came around for dinner as wanted to cook for us etc etc. Have just received a text saying "so looking forward to you coming! Can you eat beforehand as we can't be arsed to cook! See you in an hour x x "

This gives us no time to get food and comes across pretty rude. When they have come to ours for dinner we have given them dinner…

AIBU to be really late as we now have to eat without having been given any prior warning?

OP posts:
lalalonglegs · 02/04/2015 19:07

Friends once invited us around for 1pm on one of the days between Christmas and New Year knowing it would take us about an hour to get there. When we arrived, they were just finishing their lunch Shock. We handed them the cake we had brought as a gift and, eventually, were offered a cup of tea - without cake. We had our three young children with us who were all starving and finally had to raid the cafe in the local park.

I think some people are just very self-absorbed.

WaitingForMe · 02/04/2015 19:20

How bizarre. Although I have a compulsive need to feed people.

I've thrown a takeaway dinner party. Plates in oven and cutlery/glasses out while DH ordered. Not hard. If on a budget nobody I'd want to be friends with would have a problem with frozen pizza and garlic bread.

cardibach · 02/04/2015 19:32

The food thing is odd - they should have suggested take away. However YABU describing an hour away as 'forever'. I drive that for work every day!

QueenBean · 02/04/2015 19:37

How bloody rude!!

What did you reply in the end, and what did they say back?

icelollycraving · 02/04/2015 19:43

Rude of them. Very different to say they've been working so hard,they fancied a take away. I would say I can't be arsed to drive an hour after cooking.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 02/04/2015 19:45

very rude of them. they must have known before now they didn't want to cook. they could have suggested a take away or postponement if they are shattered. I would have cancelled.

swazza · 02/04/2015 19:48

This is just so rude of them.

The could have text - had a tough week - not up to cooking so going to get take out in. What do you fancy?Indian/chinese Pizza etc.

I would have no issue with this at all! It wouldnt be the not cooking but the not eating at the last minute that would piss me off!

They have been thoughtless and rude tbh.

ChaiseLounger · 02/04/2015 19:48

How rude. Tell them You can't go, because you were starving.

butterfly2015 · 02/04/2015 19:52

They couldn't even open a bag of pom bears?

Totality22 · 02/04/2015 19:54

It wouldn't bother me as such but the "see you in an hour bit" would piss me off.

If I live an hour away and I am expected to eat beforehand then I wouldn't be there in an hour would I??

I probably wouldn't go but then if anyone messes with my food I am not a happy bunny. Having to make do with cheese on toast which is all I'd rustle up at the absolute last minute as opposed to a nice meal would annoy me

ChasedByBees · 02/04/2015 20:27

How did they take it OP? Good for you for cancelling in the end.

Rainbunny · 02/04/2015 21:24

Well if it takes an hour to get to them and they expect you to find your own dinner at the last minute, what time do they honestly think you'll get to their place before turning around to come home again?

cinders456 · 02/04/2015 21:35

Sooo rude! What was stopping them from ordering a take away?? Shock

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 02/04/2015 21:37

Please say you didn't go. They clearly don't give a shit about you. I'd be mortified if I ballsed up dinner when friends were coming over.

GatoradeMeBitch · 02/04/2015 21:39

I think the OP's last comment implied they'd changed their minds and cancelled?

Floggingmolly · 02/04/2015 22:17

That's horribly rude. We turned up for dinner once to find the inviting couple (who were relatively new acquaintences) had completely forgotten we were coming Hmm. Even worse, they were as pissed as newts by the time we got there and the woman passed out fell asleep about 20 minutes later.
We excused ourselves and scarpered; ending up out in the street half an hour and one glass of wine after arrival, leaving the wine and flowers we'd brought for them to enjoy without us Grin
Some people are just weird.

MoanCraft · 02/04/2015 22:22

That's soooo rude. I wouldn't go. I'd make some excuse.

CrapBag · 02/04/2015 22:28

I'd definitely cancel.

Did you send that text OP?

Original poster
itosh · 02/04/2015 23:22

Yes I didn't go! Had a dominoes instead while watching I Am Legend. Lovely evening with no regrets!

OP posts:
Original poster
itosh · 02/04/2015 23:23

Turns out they didn't want to cook as had a big lunch and so weren't going to be hungry.. oh well their loss!

OP posts:
Hissy · 02/04/2015 23:25

Bloody good for you! Star

WhitePhantom · 02/04/2015 23:28

Good on you, glad you didn't go, and that you enjoyed your evening! Were they at all apologetic?

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/04/2015 23:29

Right choice. not an issue if just down road but an hour away? too far to go without not eating first which wastes far to much time.

Original poster
itosh · 02/04/2015 23:31

Yes WhitePhantom they said they felt really bad and next time would cook……. when the come to my wedding this Christmas I may ask them to eat before as I couldn't be arsed to order them a meal.. :O

OP posts:
ssd · 02/04/2015 23:33

this would affect me longer than tonight, I wouldnt be arsed with them for a while..