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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Come around for dinner they said…

86 replies

itosh · 02/04/2015 17:25

So we have friends that live forever away (well not that far maybe an hour ). It has been a long day but our friends were very keen we came around for dinner as wanted to cook for us etc etc. Have just received a text saying "so looking forward to you coming! Can you eat beforehand as we can't be arsed to cook! See you in an hour x x "

This gives us no time to get food and comes across pretty rude. When they have come to ours for dinner we have given them dinner…

AIBU to be really late as we now have to eat without having been given any prior warning?

OP posts:
ChipDip · 02/04/2015 17:41

I wouldn't go as they have been pretty damn rude about it. But since in spite of this rudeness you're going so you've also let them know that they could drop you at the last minute and you'd be ok with it.

CatsCantTwerk · 02/04/2015 17:41

I would have cancelled.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/04/2015 17:49

Really rude, would totally have cancelled. Something along the lines of 'It sounds like tonight isn't going to work out, as we still need to cook and eat etc. Let's rearrange a date that suits everyone better.'

Or something.

Yellowbird54321 · 02/04/2015 17:49

I think that's a bit off really, if they had text saying: "too knackered to cook, but really looking forward to seeing you - do you mind if we just have pizza tonight?" then I think that would have been okay, but to cancel the food element totally when you were expecting to eat with them is a bit crap.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/04/2015 17:52

In fact OP, why not text back and say 'Actually, on reflection, it makes it too much of rush, which we don't fancy at the end of the week. Let's rearrange for an evening you can be arsed to cook'

OnlyLovers · 02/04/2015 17:52

Rude, flaky and weird. If I really liked them and wanted to keep things friendly I'd grit my teeth and say 'We can pick up a takeaway on the way; what do you fancy?'.

If I was more pissed off than that I'd just send Wips's text about a rain check.

Bakeoffcake · 02/04/2015 17:52

How rude Shock

I agree, do not eat before you go, go and see than and insist on eating out/take away.

Original poster
itosh · 02/04/2015 17:54

FirstWeTakeManhattan I shall!

I shall be no mug! Again thanks all xx

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 02/04/2015 17:55

I would cancel.

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/04/2015 17:56

partial I would feel that way to an extent. I never expect my friends to feed me or explain things they don't want to explain. but I do think if they are a long drive away and did say that they would provide food that to retract at such short notice ie as your about to leave is pretty rude.

It's nit about food granted but as that was originally the plan most people would say perhaps had little for lunch as had a meal planned. or not got anything in or out freezer as it wasn't needed.

again fine if your only a few mins down the road bit not if your a long way away when you would have to go get something then get home and eat it or spend money you don't have eating out.

But then I have kids so I'm up early and usually ready for bed around 11 so delaying the journey for food then arriving much later than planned meaning, we'd only have a couple of hours to chat as opposed to the whole evening, well it would just seem a waste of time going

PurpleSwift · 02/04/2015 17:57

So rude. I'd have wanted to say "I think I'll just stay in and get a takeaway then"

In reality I'd probably do what you have, or suggest you get a takeaway together. YANBU

Koalafications · 02/04/2015 17:59

Oh, I seem to be the only one who wouldn't be offended. Easter Blush

I would just get a takeaway on my way round and eat it when I got there. Wouldn't bother me at all.

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/04/2015 18:03

But then I remember a few years ago a couple of friends and I were invited to a mates house which was a good two hour train journey away, they had said they'd do a nice lunch for us all so I hadn't eaten any breakfast. got there chatted away which was nice enough the ds just helped himself to some lunch and we were all sat there having travelled two hours and no food appeared we were there hours when we then had to go shopping g for tea then wait a further few hours til anything was made.

We were stuffing crisps from the shop as we were all so hungry and there was no sign of any food.

can laugh now but by god we were hungry Grin

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/04/2015 18:03

High fives itosh

Now get your pyjamas on and order a takeaway Grin

partialderivative · 02/04/2015 18:07

I live a few thousand miles from my oldest mate.

I rarely can be arsed to let him know I am going to turn up, as I know it would make little difference to his plans.

I did tell him once, only to find out that he and his family had gone on holiday a few days previously.

No problem. We laughed.

DoraGora · 02/04/2015 18:08

There's expecting friends to explain or to feed me. But, if they've invited us over for dinner then they've created the expectation, not me. It's al-right. You can sit down. I'm fetching a chair for you now...

CarbeDiem · 02/04/2015 18:09

I would have cancelled too, that's really rude. Whatever the reason is I would have tried to arrange something else myself, like meeting and eating in the pub or suggesting a takeaway, if I couldn't/didn't want to cook myself.

AnnieMoor · 02/04/2015 18:10

I would go anyway, grab a sandwich or as you said, a pub meal.

Slightly worse, imo, is the newish friends who asked us over for drinks so we went to Pizza Express en route.

When we got there, it was a formal 4 course dinner.

grovel · 02/04/2015 18:11

Be with you at midnight. Sorry, but chickens take for ever to defrost.

UngratefulMoo · 02/04/2015 18:11

I have invited friends for dinner and then got takeaway before, but I have always paid for it at least! Outrageous! I wondered if they were just blatantly joking....?

DoraGora · 02/04/2015 18:12

Annie, that's simply a poorly worded invitation.

RoboticSealpup · 02/04/2015 18:14

"See you in an hour"?

When it takes you an hour to get there? So... let me get this straight: they are texting you just as you are due to leave, asking you to eat before you go, but without being late. How are they expecting you to be able to do that, exactly?

gamerchick · 02/04/2015 18:20

Just cancel.

You know it's hard the first time not to wuss out but I swear it gets easier the more you do it. One whiff of taking the piss and I'm out. Free time is too precious to be afraid to say no.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 02/04/2015 18:23

You know it's hard the first time not to wuss out but I swear it gets easier the more you do it. One whiff of taking the piss and I'm out. Free time is too precious to be afraid to say no.

^ this with fucking big shiny bells on it.

calmexterior · 02/04/2015 18:29

!! Wow that's weird. Would think they could have got take away at least. I'd like to think I wouldn't go but if they were friends I probably would be late do YANBU

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