smear test (lighthearted)

[farewellfigure]

I know IBU but there really is nothing like a 'you're due for your smear test' letter to put a downer on your day. I was having a lovely day. I'm excited about the long weekend. We're going to the zoo and doing egg hunts. DH is working from home today which is lovely. I've got loads of work done. Then that letter arrives and I cannot BELIEVE it's been 5 years already. Seriously. And DH sniggered which didn't help. He is sympathetic really though.

Oh and I know it's important and I will go. I just feel all 'argh' about it.

Since I had DS I've started having Vasovagal reactions anytime anyone goes near my cervix - so having the copper coil fitted was a bit of a production! I'm down to have it changed under a GA. Smears are done by a GP with two nurses present in case I 'go again' ??

This used to be me but I always had them as I knew s'one who died of cervical cancer (and really didn't want to end up there). Now though I am having loads because I have sjogren's (sicca syndrome) and they can't get proper samples... So I just put the thought out of my mind and accept it as a norm (like the car MOT) and simply do not think about it beforehand. then when I am in the waiting room I contemplate how lucky we are in the UK to have these on the NHS unlike the USA and to have them at all! Then it is over.

Bumbley I always try and get mine done mid cycle as twice I've gone really close to my period only to be recalled as the cells were contaminated with blood cells.
As I said above - I really don't mind having a smear but would rather not have to air my fanjo again just a few weeks later :)

CarbeDiem blood isn't an issue any more as the new liquid lyses it. Mid cycle is still the best time as the 'transformation zone' is most prominent and this is the area you are wanting to sample - where is changes from squamous to glandular tissue :)

To say you 'won't' get CC if you don't have HPV is dangerous and untrue. I'm living proof of that. It's very rare, granted, but that's still my life however rare. 4000 people might not be statistically a lot, but that's 4000 people's lives. I'm sure to their families they are glad.

saucyjack I'm kind of inclined to agree with you but genuinely interested to know what you mean by "rapey hysteria"? Do you feel STs are pushed on women inappropriately?

I'm parting you now is just .... Ugh. Wtf would you say something like that?

ive always gone mid-cycle and found it more comfortable iyswim

yes it does seem strange a bunch of grown women who have had children getting cringes about a smear but its the maybe factor with a smear maybe it will hurt maybe it wont maybe i will feel it maybe i wont will it be uncomfortable? will they find anything? will i be okay?

when you have children it will hurt

when you have treatment at the dentist it wont apart from the injection until it wears off then it will hurt

It's the language I object to revolting. As in you "must" or you "have" to have it done. It's rapey language. No woman has to have anything done to her vagina that she doesn't want to happen.

If other women want to have them done just on the remote off chance that it might benefit their health, then that's their prerogative.

I just violently object to the expectation that I must present my vagina to anyone that asks without questioning it as I'm just a woman and a mother, and therefore my dignity and bodily autonomy shouldn't be a consideration.

My fanny isn't public property. Yes, I have ishoos.

I was to busy ranting there to answer your second question properly.

I don't think the tests are inappropriate in the sense that it's all a ruse designed by perverts to look at our vaginas. But I do absolutely think that the cervical screening programme is using a sledgehammer to crack a nut. There's no consideration whatsoever for the trauma caused by all the distressing and invasive testing and/or treatment carried out just on the tiny off chance that it might benefit us. Society expects us just to lie back and open up without questioning it.

It should be a free choice. Peer bullying and guilt-tripping are wholly unacceptable.

The language of "you must", you should" is always used for smear tests. There doesn't seem to be any room for a woman making an informed choice. If a woman wants one, she may make an appointment.

There is no need for the money wasting recall system. It treats women like naughty children. I'm sure if GPs weren't getting a bonus payment for every woman that had a test they wouldn't be so keen on telling you at every opportunity to jump up on the couch.

Scare mongering someone into not having it done is equally appalling

I don't think there is any scaremongering. A women can make her own decision whether or not to screen if she is presented with the full facts to enable her to make an informed decision. Be aware of what the test can and cannot do. Be mindful that a few abnormal cells may lead to a colposcopy and a possible biopsy or LEEP. Do your own research. Consider the consequences of screening. Consider the consequences of declining screening.

Calling the process 'rapey' is scare mongering. I seriously disagree with saying that the smear test isn't necessary - the urine test hasn't been been passed by NICE yet and the vaccine only covers HPV types 16 and 18. 70% of high-risk HPV cases are 16 and 18, but that still leaves 30% uncovered. Also the urine test only tests for these two types, totally ignoring the other 10 or so virus types. The sensitivity of the urine test is 77% - this, combined with the fact that 10 types aren't even tested for, gives a 46% probability that a high risk HPV type, capable of causing squamous cell carcinoma, is missed. The urine test still hasn't been approved by NICE - they are currently doing a study to compare it to the current PCR test of using a cervical swab.

At the end of the day HPV types 16 and 18 are the tip of the iceberg and are the predominant types in caucasian women - further studies are needed to identify if other types predominate in other ethnicities. Until that is done I will continue having my smear done.

Auntie - It was only roughly a year ago since this last happened to me but it's possible it's still done the old way as I'm not in the UK.
Good to know though for when I do need to get one done in the UK.

saucy yeah I agree with you on the language and it's refreshing to see someone else say that, as I have made that point before on here and got shot down.

No, I didn't mean "perverted" when I said inappropriate, I meant as in "possibly clinically unnecessary". :)

Actually I think it's part of a bigger issue about proportionality and using guilt and shaming in women's healthcare in particular. Similar language is also used around antenatal care, bfing etc. And again, in those cases there is a determined fixation on "silver bullets" like bfing whilst ignoring other issues (I say that as a determined bfer!).

It's also sometimes really hard to decline screening. My last Gp surgery, they made the appts for you and if you declined one, just rebooked for the next month. You couldn't just opt out - endless arguments with reception! So after a bit I just stopped bothering cancelling each one, I mean after like a year, and then they started to say patients who didn't attend appts serially could be struck off the GP list

revolting I completely agree that to try and force anyone into it is wrong. That's an appalling thing to do.