smear test (lighthearted)

[farewellfigure]

I know IBU but there really is nothing like a 'you're due for your smear test' letter to put a downer on your day. I was having a lovely day. I'm excited about the long weekend. We're going to the zoo and doing egg hunts. DH is working from home today which is lovely. I've got loads of work done. Then that letter arrives and I cannot BELIEVE it's been 5 years already. Seriously. And DH sniggered which didn't help. He is sympathetic really though.

Oh and I know it's important and I will go. I just feel all 'argh' about it.

You can still have it done when you are on your period! Granted you may not want to but it no longer matters with the new technique

I had an abnormal smear last month and had to go for lletz last week. It is horrible but definately worth going to!

Congratulations Mrsstarlord on the state of your foof! I had the exact opposite. Miserable nurse says loudly You're very slack down below aren't you Didn't quite know what to say to that!

peaches horrible woman!

I never put them off but had a letter the other day. As DS is 6 weeks old, I'm putting it off for at least another month.

I had mine done the other day and it wasnt at all pleasant. The nurse wasnt friendly and i have a tilted cervix (which i warned her about). I dont know if she needed a smaller speculum or a bit more lubricant but it was really pinchy. Never had one like it!

After 3 children and a colposcopy my fears for my dignity have long gone
At my first smear after DC3 the nurse complimented me on my tidy but tilted cervix and how easily I healed up after birth because hers was (and I quote) 'like the Mersey Tunnel' after childbirth.
I'm due again soon actually, must give them a ring.

I had mine today. I made a joke about "this is why I only have 1 child" and she said "oh, I don't see why. It's lovely and tidy down here, perfect for popping out another one" Not sure if that's good or not!

It's rare because of screening - pre screening it used to be a big killer of women :(

Battery - the BMJ concluded that the urine test needs proper evaluation and standardisation and comparison against the "gold standard" of smear results to test effectiveness.

It also wouldn't be useful for the (admittedly small) 9% or so of cervical cancers not caused by HPV.

It does sound like a good study though and worth further research.

rabbitwoman :) :) :)

I'm not bothered by them after having so many plus colposcopy clinic visits but I was once in the middle of getting one done and the nurse said -
''That's pretty''
My immediate thoughts were that's highly unlikely after delivering 3 dc out of it.
Turns out she was talking about my piercing :)

Firstly, virtually all cervical cancer is caused by HPV* - not sure where you are getting this 9% figure from, secondly a smear test is not the gold standard, very far from it - the recall rate is incredibly high.

A colposcopy (with in theatre biopsy and immediate treatment) is arguably the gold standard - the NHS is just far too busy wasting money blanket screening all women to find the funds for this targeted approach.

*www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs380/en/

years ago i was haveing a smear when the nurse commented how tender my cervix was and could she show the other nurse because she hadnt seen one before. i said yeah thats fine. the other nurse came in both of them stood staring sayiny how easy it bleeds and then one nurse asked if she could show the trainee nurse.
i said how about i go and lie down in the waiting room and every one can have a look
i did let the trainee nurse look its a bloody good job im not shy

millionsofpeaches -

Why, thank you.

This is not a thread to read when trying to bf ds to sleep

I thought I had it bad at my last smear when nurse waited until she had raised the bed up so my hoohaa was at face level (I am used to doc bending down?) to say, "I will just go find a kit", leaving me trying to entertain ds from practically the ceiling!

Smears also pick up endocervical adenocarcinoma, endometrial adenocarcinoma and occasionally ovarian carcinoma. I have also personally diagnosed secondary breast cancer in a smear and also prostate cancer in the partner work that one out. So HPV isn't the be-all and end all...

Battery - "If you test negative for high risk strains of HPV, then you won't get cervical cancer. "

No, you are less likely to develop cervical cancer.

Yes, there is a small %age of cervical cancers that aren't caused by HPV - I may be wrong with 9% but it's still not totally down to HPV.

And the Urine test does still have to be evaluated, validated and standardised according to the link you provided Battery which quotes the BMJ?

The nurse who did my test was the same one who gave me my flu jab whilst I was pregnant. She is teeny and it felt like she had taken a running jump at my arm.
When she blithely told me to lie down on the couch for my smear I quite expected to be peeled off the ceiling.
Never felt a thing. In and out without evening feeling a thing.

Bumbley and Salmotrutta You are entitled to your opinions, but current medical opinion disagrees with you.

If you like having unreliable, inconvenient and unnecessary smear tests, then by all means carry on, it's no skin off my nose

Battery - I'm not sure what you think I've said that is an opinion. What you said was factually incorrect. I corrected you. Testing negative for HPV with that test does not mean that you won't get cervical cancer.

6 years ago I'd just been operated on for cervical cancer picked up from a routine smear. And I didn't have hpv. It might not be a perfect system but I'd be dead without it. Go get your foof looked at OP!

Are you saying that 100% of cervical cancers are caused by HPV Battery?

And do you mean that the urine test is fully standardised, validated and ready to go?

Because I dont believe that was indicated by your link?

Or maybe I read it wrong...

OT here, but this is something that frustrates me so much about MN - the WHO state quite clearly that 'virtually all' cervical cancer is caused by high risk strains of HPV.

It seems to be a uniquely MN phenomenon to then take that statement, and completely miss the point of it. HPV can be tested for via urine samples, this information is there to help you (and women as a whole). Why would you be so obtuse as to focus on the minuscule proportion of cervical cancer not caused by HPV, and the fact that the urine test hasn't quite been accepted as mainstream as yet?

I see it all the time in debates about weight v health too. The vast majority of overweight people's health would be improved by losing weight, but there is always somebody banging on about how thin people can be unhealthy too, and using this tenuous 'fact' to attempt to discredit the obvious causal relationship that exists between weight and poor health.

I don't understand why people choose to ignore trends, patterns and statistical likelihood of outcomes, just because there might be an edge case in which is doesn;t apply. it just seems naive and somehow disingenuous.

Are you saying that 100% of cervical cancers are caused by HPV Battery?

What I am saying is irrelevant, this is what the WHO is saying. The exact wording used by the WHO is 'virtually all' - please see the link above that I provided for my source.