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AIBU?

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Original poster

smear test (lighthearted)

91 replies

farewellfigure · 02/04/2015 13:52

I know IBU but there really is nothing like a 'you're due for your smear test' letter to put a downer on your day. I was having a lovely day. I'm excited about the long weekend. We're going to the zoo and doing egg hunts. DH is working from home today which is lovely. I've got loads of work done. Then that letter arrives and I cannot BELIEVE it's been 5 years already. Seriously. And DH sniggered which didn't help. He is sympathetic really though.

Oh and I know it's important and I will go. I just feel all 'argh' about it.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 02/04/2015 22:02

Thanks for labelling me as obtuse.

EBearhug · 02/04/2015 22:04

Last time I had mine done, she said, "Gosh, you really are mid-cycle, aren't you!"

It can be a very surreal conversation, though. "Ohh, the traffic was awful this morning, wasn't it? That's a healthy-looking cervix you've got there! Yes, there must have been a crash or something for it to be that bad at that time of day. OK, we're nearly done. They seem to be turning round the results quite quickly at the moment..."

BatteryPoweredHen · 02/04/2015 22:05

I meant the 'you' to be generic, not specifically you personally Salmo

bumbleymummy · 02/04/2015 22:06

Just be more careful about what you say Battery. With your statement "If you test negative for high risk strains of HPV, then you won't get cervical cancer. " you are implying that the test is 100% accurate (which it isn't) and that CC can only be caused by HPV (which isn't true).

Yes, it's a useful test but there's no need to overstate what it can do.

Salmotrutta · 02/04/2015 22:06

Oh, well that's okay then...

Charley50 · 02/04/2015 22:12

Last time I had mine done the nurse tried to set me up on a date with her friend; whilst she was down there!!

BatteryPoweredHen · 02/04/2015 22:14

Even if you do test positive for High risk strains of HPV, you are still really unlikely to develop cervical cancer.

The problem is that the target obsessed NHS has whipped women up into a frenzy that Smear tests will somehow save your life when the facts just don't back this up.

Fair enough if you choose not to believe the WHO, it is up to you, but in 10 years time, we will look back on the current cervical screening program with amusement at how medieval it was.

In the meantime, I'll carry on with my annual urine test Smile

DakotaFanny · 02/04/2015 22:14

I am worried about my next one....my fanjo is just not very pretty- really don't want to show it to anyone else now. Makes me blush just thinking about it.

chickenfuckingpox · 02/04/2015 22:22

im pretty sire mine is due soon the last one didnt go well im not looking forward to it to be honest since they switched to the plastic duck thingy instead of the metal one i find it massively uncomfortable

im at an age where my periods are not reliable so im using an app to find my best time to book a smear i think half the problem the last time was it was the wrong time

i hope that was the problem

wheresthedummy · 02/04/2015 22:22

At my last smear test there was a knock at the door and the nurse said "oh hang on, can you hold this" and left me reaching down holding the speculum inside me, while she had a chat with the receptionist at the door. I was too shocked to say anything.

chickenfuckingpox · 02/04/2015 22:23

sire = sure

MoanCraft · 02/04/2015 22:25

I had mine today. I dislike it but don't hate it.
It did make me laugh the way the nurse explained every single thing she was doing. I mean EVERYTHING. Haha.

bumbleymummy · 02/04/2015 22:25

Charley - wow! Your cervix gets you dates! Grin

SaucyJack · 02/04/2015 22:30

I'm with you batteryhen

Smear tests prevent about 4000 cases of cervical cancer a year out of what- 20,000,000 women who are "invited" to take part in the screening programme. Those are not statistics that are worth all the rapey hysteria if you ask me.

You're far, far, far more likely to die in a car crash.

prawnballs · 02/04/2015 22:36

Haha rabbitwoman
Did you lace it with pepper? Grin

Charley50 · 02/04/2015 23:01

Bubbly mummy- nice cervix, shame about the face! (70's song) Grin. I declined btw.

Charley50 · 02/04/2015 23:02

Isn't 4000 quite a lot? How else would the cervical cancer have been discovered in these 4000 cases?

GothicRainbow · 02/04/2015 23:14

Going for a smear test doesn't bother me. After being treated for vaginismus having someone poking around down there for all of 30 seconds isn't an issue.

The only thing I do find annoying is making sure everything is presentable!!

Buttercupsandaisies · 02/04/2015 23:16

I've had a smear every 3 years exact since I was 17 ( I'm 38 now). Really don't see the big deal at all. Though I was a bit suprised that a nurse commented 'I was very neat down there'!

Seriously though, I hate going over the 2 year wait and feel such a relief once the results come back. I'd have one every year if offered!

Buttercupsandaisies · 02/04/2015 23:18

Plus for info a gynae once told me you can have a smear at anytime if the month, it doesn't affect the results at all - it's just more uncomfortable at certain times but you can book for anytime.

BikeRunSki · 02/04/2015 23:22

I *hate^ going for a smear test. My cervix is too high and tilted to reach easily, so the speculum needs to be very wide. Both my dc were born by cs, and I'm just not that stretchy. Smears usually make me sick snd always leave my shaky for a few hours.

loveableshoulder · 02/04/2015 23:23

moan that reminds me of earn my friend told me the nurse had said "I'm parting you now' Shock

I've mine on Tuesday. I'm super- experienced at them: first ever one was a normal, several colposcopies later, had an op. I still don't want to go :(

bumbleymummy · 03/04/2015 08:09

Buttercup - they can get a better sample mid-cycle.

From the NHS

TheRavenChides · 03/04/2015 08:46

I've been having smears annually for about 8 years now as I keep alternating between normal and abnormal results. It's not nice, but it's over in a moment and is worth it for peace of mind.

No offense intended, but I just can't understand why grown women, most of whom have been through childbirth, get so worked up over something so short and infrequent. I'd rather go for a smear than to the dentist and I do that twice a year

lunalovegood84 · 03/04/2015 09:18

I always decline. I'm at negligible risk for having HPV and the statistics on over treatment due to smear test screening are shocking. It's well worth reading Dr Margaret McCartney's book The Patient Paradox - very eye opening.