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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think these parents should have got off their arses!

102 replies

widdle · 01/04/2015 15:22

Yesterday I took my DS 20 months to the park. It wasn't very busy and is a biggish park. He was playing on a small slide when a little boy of about 3 or 4 came up and was being a bit aggressive. Not physical contact but pushing his chest out and pushing his face into my DS's. My DS didn't seem bothered - more curious really so I didn't do anything.

Anyway later on the same boy was on a bigger slide (one that has lots of platforms and tunnels). My DS went onto this slide and was going to go through a tunnel when the little boy came up to the tunnel on the other side and started being aggressive again, pushing his face into my DS's. So I said "Could you please not do that?" quite loudly, which was ignored so then "Could you please get out of the way?"

He said "But I want to get through the tunnel" and I told him that my DS was there first and that it wasn''t polite to block the way. To which he completely ignored me and then lay in the tunnel with his feet pointing towards DS.

At this point I was pissed off and took DS away.

This little boy's parents were sat down right next to the slide and they could definitely hear me as the mother was looking straight at me. AIBU to think that they should have got up and actually tried to control their little bantam cock of a child? Is this the done thing now? Just ignore your kid? Or am I an overbearing helicopter parent?

I know it's not a big deal but it really pissed me off!!

OP posts:
FirstWeTakeManhattan · 01/04/2015 17:05

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 01/04/2015 17:05

He even said at one point "I'll get you this time".

Really?, did he really say this Grin

BlueStarsAtNight · 01/04/2015 17:08

I think YANBU. I encountered a similar situation with my 2 the old at the park last week, on the toddler climbing frame - he wanted to climb up the steps but every time he tried a bigger boy (4ish) ran over the bridge to the top of the steps and stares at him to stop him climbing up. DS is a bit shy and would to just climb up anyway, and he kept asking me "is it my turn now?" And was obviously intimidated. When the boys dad noticed he immediately came over and explained that he had to share the slide and that my DS was smaller than him and was a bit scared by him not allowing him up the steps. And that was that! Both boys then played fine. I hate when parents just ignore their kids in play areas.

Original poster
widdle · 01/04/2015 17:08

Yes StillStaying he did

OP posts:
Original poster
widdle · 01/04/2015 17:09

Probably heard it from a cartoon - I'm pretty sure he didn't know what he meant but it was enough for me to start paying closer attention

OP posts:
Original poster
widdle · 01/04/2015 17:24

Actually StillStaying I did consider putting that bit in my OP but thought - nah no one would believe me Grin but he did - honest guvnor

Anyway yes I'm probably overthinking it all now. My brother was bullied mercilessly for years at primary school to the extent it still effects him today at the grand old age of 40 so any sniff of bullying type behaviour (even from a 3 year old) tends to strike a nerve.

OP posts:
madreloco · 01/04/2015 17:33

If you are determined to find bullying behaviour, you will. However he sounds like a perfectly normal three year old and you sound pretty bloody horrible about a very young child.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 01/04/2015 17:37

madre that's a bit harsh!

AGirlCalledBoB · 01/04/2015 17:39

StillStaying to be fair op called him a cock of a child. Not exactly nice about the child for a petty thing.

Original poster
widdle · 01/04/2015 17:39

Could you please point out where I am being horrible madreloco? I'm not blaming the little boy, he was doing what a lot of 3 year olds do but I was pissed off his parents didn't intervene.

OP posts:
Original poster
widdle · 01/04/2015 17:40

Bantam cock !!! I think we've been through all this before!

OP posts:
zzzzz · 01/04/2015 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scalliondays · 01/04/2015 17:46

Yanbu - parents should ideally have stepped in to facilitate sharing and more gentle play with younger child. OP has not been rude about older boy - she didn't call him a cock! She said he was strutting around like a bantam cock - a small feisty self important male chicken....

TendonQueen · 01/04/2015 17:47

She didn't call him a cock. People should a) RTFT properly, and b) learn to use Google. And the folks saying 'Children won't understand that', who made you chief of What Children Understand?

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/04/2015 17:48

Why do people always assume kids aren't capable.

my dd has been but en by another child. I saw another child push her and say "I don't like you" hell she was even pissed on all by kids no older than 3/4

but yeah they were all being kids Hmm

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/04/2015 17:49

bitten

Original poster
widdle · 01/04/2015 17:49

Yes zzzzz he was trying to meditate him to death Grin

On the whole I still think the parents could have done something but accept I'm now wildly overthinking this (based on having to defend silly accusations of calling children cocks).

BTW totally dreading DS's Bantam Cock stage but hope I'll be able to cope with a Gandhi like beatific smile Wink

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 01/04/2015 17:52

I would love to see a 3 year old strutting like a bantam cock; like a mini Mick Jagger! Grin

JuliaDream · 01/04/2015 17:52

Sounds like a normal play park incident to me.

Original poster
widdle · 01/04/2015 17:53

Thanks Scallion, Tendon and Giles I'm trying to instil good manners in DS at an early age and am already exhausted by it all. Maybe by the time he is 3 I'll be a burnt out husk lying on the sidelines of the park (calling "cock, cock' cock" at passing toddlers)

OP posts:
zzzzz · 01/04/2015 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

momtothree · 01/04/2015 18:07

Think of it this way - you interacted for 2 mins his parents have him ALL day -

Aeroflotgirl · 01/04/2015 18:14

A bantam cock is a baby rooster. Yanbu parents should have corrected the child.

petalunicorn · 01/04/2015 18:21

He was being a normal 3 year old, he wasn't horrible. Lots and lots of them do this.

My dc may not have understood the way you were talking at 3 years old "Could you please not do that" - they would have been used to more directive language than 'could'. It's also a positive followed by a negative. They would have understood 'It's X's turn so come out of the tunnel' but tbh I wouldn't have bothered with that I would have just got my dc to go on something else, I'd want them to learn to keep away from aggressive people and to pick their battles.

I wouldn't be cross at the parents for not helicoptering, I would intervene if there was any physical contact or your dc was upset.

AWimbaWay · 01/04/2015 18:33

I think he was being horrible actually, I have 3 dcs, the youngest is 4, she occasionally acts this way to her older siblings. I think she's being quite horrible at those times, and tell her so. If she was doing it to a younger child she would be told off. It's only normal behaviour if you let it be, it's our job as parents to teach them to play in a more sharing, caring fashion.