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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think these parents should have got off their arses!

102 replies

widdle · 01/04/2015 15:22

Yesterday I took my DS 20 months to the park. It wasn't very busy and is a biggish park. He was playing on a small slide when a little boy of about 3 or 4 came up and was being a bit aggressive. Not physical contact but pushing his chest out and pushing his face into my DS's. My DS didn't seem bothered - more curious really so I didn't do anything.

Anyway later on the same boy was on a bigger slide (one that has lots of platforms and tunnels). My DS went onto this slide and was going to go through a tunnel when the little boy came up to the tunnel on the other side and started being aggressive again, pushing his face into my DS's. So I said "Could you please not do that?" quite loudly, which was ignored so then "Could you please get out of the way?"

He said "But I want to get through the tunnel" and I told him that my DS was there first and that it wasn''t polite to block the way. To which he completely ignored me and then lay in the tunnel with his feet pointing towards DS.

At this point I was pissed off and took DS away.

This little boy's parents were sat down right next to the slide and they could definitely hear me as the mother was looking straight at me. AIBU to think that they should have got up and actually tried to control their little bantam cock of a child? Is this the done thing now? Just ignore your kid? Or am I an overbearing helicopter parent?

I know it's not a big deal but it really pissed me off!!

OP posts:
Original poster
widdle · 01/04/2015 15:52

Don't worry Boitoutofpractise I'm not particularly stressed although I genuinely didn't know if I was being unreasonable about the parents or not.

It seems to be a mixed bag of IABU and IANBU so far Grin

Not to worry Bugger apology accepted - I would never describe any child as a cock. This boy had a bit of a swagger to him - he strutted and was pushing his chest out and getting in my DS's face. I'm afraid mammy bear came out a bit especially when I could see the parents totally ignoring it. Thanks for the responses so far!

OP posts:
zzzzz · 01/04/2015 15:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsCakesPrecognitionisSwitched · 01/04/2015 15:55

You were fighting a battle that didn't need to happen. Your DS wasn't upset. The other child was stubborn, but not physically aggressive. The only person in a tizz was you.

I am a very watchful parent, but I'm not sure that even I would instantly spot it if my child looked at another child "funny" in a tunnel. And if I did, I'm not sure I'd step in unless one of the children appeared distressed.

MummyLuce · 01/04/2015 15:56

Yanbu!!! Whoever said a 3 year old wouldn't understand is talking absolute rubbish, unless that child has underlying issues. My 18 month old DS would understand that!!! Jeeeeez- all the parent needed to do was explain that "the little baby was in first, wait until they have finished please, you need to share the tunnel. They are small, it might take them longer". Then make then wait. And if a 3 year old can't understand that then the parents need to get on it.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 01/04/2015 15:56

The other child probably wanted to play with yours

anothernumberone · 01/04/2015 15:58

That was me mummyluce and I did say my 3 year old and a lot of his peers might not understand the OPs demands. We can't all have children as advanced as your cherub Hmm

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/04/2015 16:01

If he understands as he said " I want to go through the tunnel"

he'd understand "please don't do that" Hmm

really not advanced fir even the incredibly dozy dcs

Catsize · 01/04/2015 16:02

That 3yr old will go far...

soapboxqueen · 01/04/2015 16:04

Mine wouldn't have understood either but then he wouldn't have got in the way.

Yes the parents should have done something but if they weren't going to I wouldn't get too get up about it. It's still a learning experience for your child OP eg some people can be a pain some times.

SaucyJack · 01/04/2015 16:05

YANBU to blame the parents for not getting up to assist...... but 3 year olds really are tiny babies in the grand scheme of things.

You wait until your PFB is that age. You'll see.

DoJo · 01/04/2015 16:08

I am another one who wouldn't have intervened if my son wasn't upset and if things hadn't got physical. All that happened was that you ended up taking your son away because you were pissed off, which seems a bit counter-productive.

LittleBairn · 01/04/2015 16:08

widdle you seem to have a limited experience of young children. This child was behaving in a typical manner of a 3 year old boy they often get into each other's faces they are still developing appropriate social skills.
You were being overly precious you admit there was no physical contact, he wasn't trying yo harm your son.

LittleBairn · 01/04/2015 16:11

mummyluce congratulations your DC is a genuis. Many children won't understand what 'please don't do that' Don't do what? It's too vague.
If she had said 'please don't put your face so close' that would have been more clear to the child.

Original poster
widdle · 01/04/2015 16:12

Thanks for that sweeping comment on my parenting experience LittleBairn Hmm

OP posts:
hairylittlegoblin · 01/04/2015 16:14

I hate parks. Before I had the DCs I would imagine how lovely park trips would be - pushing them on the swings, helping them down the slides etc.

The reality was 2 children with NO FEAR of injury or death hurling themselves on and off play equipment, running in front of swings and generally attempting to give me a heart attack every 3 minutes or so. Add in the inevitable row about who was at the top of the slide first and the child who refused to go down the slide or got to the bottom and refused to get off. I avoided them like the plague.

Look at getting a plastic slide from Toys R us and then you can play in the garden instead

Original poster
widdle · 01/04/2015 16:14

And BTW I had no problem with the little boy but he was being intimidating and the parents weren't trying to tell him not to be. If they ignore all these bantam displays surely he's never going to learn.

Not to say they would ignore every time - maybe they were having a bad day and I should have given them a creme egg

OP posts:
mamapain · 01/04/2015 16:23

WTF DOES BANTAM MEAN? I don't know if I'm stupid, its quite possible. But I know about bantam weight but honestly I have never heard of it in this context and I feel like I've not been invited to the party. Google seems to think its a small breed of chicken but that doesn't make sense surely.

Gruntfuttock · 01/04/2015 16:28

mamapain The idea is that a bantam cock (yes the chicken type) will strut around being bossy and acting as if he owns the place.

mamapain · 01/04/2015 16:35

So bantam cock is the thinking (wo)mans version of being cocky?

All I kept thinking of is Buju Banton, would be hilarious to see a 3 year old acting like that in a park.

Original poster
widdle · 01/04/2015 16:40

Off to google Buju Banton....

Nope no reggae, gun or drug pushing was seen just strutting Grin

Thank you for thinking I'm a thinking (or maybe overthinking) woman!

OP posts:
howabout · 01/04/2015 16:52

YABU. May have stood up for your lad at the small slide but sounds like to the average 3 year old I know at the big climbing frame he would be seen as encroaching on big boy territory. My general approach to the park is to not let my DCs play where it would not be safe if I were not there to assist. Especially in bigger parks with plenty of equipment to go round I think it is a chance for kids to have some space to mix. As a parent of a 3 year old I might see parent intervening to give her 20 month old dibs on a piece of equipment not designed for him as being a bit out of order. You are how much bigger than a 3 year old? No wonder he was puffing his chest out!

Original poster
widdle · 01/04/2015 17:01

But he wasn't puffing his chest out to me!!!! It was to my 20 month old DS.

Plus the park was not busy. I generally agree to keep small kids away from where the big kids play but this was a park for under 5's so nothing particular dangerous in there. To be honest it seemed as though he was following DS around - fine if he was trying to be friendly but he wasn't. He was following him around to get in his face. He even said at one point "I'll get you this time".

Ds didn't have dibs on the slide - not at all. But he was in the tunnel and the 3 year old was acting aggressively. I would rather have gotten my DS out of there before he started kicking him to be honest and was dismayed at the lack of response from the parents.

OP posts:
AGirlCalledBoB · 01/04/2015 17:01

YABU my son is 2 months younger than you and honestly would not care less if there was a kid in the tunnel with him.

I think you need to pick your battles, nothing the kid did sounded that awful certainly not be discribed as a cock Hmm so I wouldn't have done anything.

SaucyJack · 01/04/2015 17:02

"but he was being intimidating"

Oh come on. He probably still wears nappies to bed. I do remember when mine were little and all the slightly older kids seemed like great big Machiavellian thugs in comparison, but he's a small boy behaving like a small boy.

Imnotbeingyourbestfriendanymor · 01/04/2015 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.