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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To use 'natural' birth control

56 replies

ramanoop · 31/03/2015 00:14

I'm not currently married, and do not (currently) want any more kids.

My current girlfriend is young - 24. And she doesn't take the pill. So I use condoms. Except that she uses a natural fertility computer religiously, and swears by it.

It's either this: www.amazon.co.uk/Uebe-0630-Cyclotest-Temperature-Fertility/dp/B001F7FXP4

Or this:
www.lady-comp.com/

I don't think I'm fully comfortable with the idea yet....

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 31/03/2015 00:15

If you don't want kids, keep it covered.

UghReally · 31/03/2015 00:17

Natural contraception is dubious at best IMO.
Sperm can survive for up to 7-8 days so she would need to predict ovulation 7-8 days in advanced to avoid sex which could result in conception, I'm not entirely sure thats possible if she doesnt have a regular cycle and even then its hit and miss. HOWEVER, If you're using condoms too you should be fine, Just don't rely on it completely

ShadowStone · 31/03/2015 00:29

If you're fine with the possibility of having an unplanned baby, then sure, use natural birth control.

If you don't want kids now, then keep using the condoms.

CMOTGilbertBlythe · 31/03/2015 00:31

Natural contraception is brilliant. It's how I had my 2nd child. Only a month earlier than I intended to conceive, so not a disaster for me! But I wouldn't rely on it in your position.

shinynewnamechange · 31/03/2015 00:42

Well we used withdrawal successfully for over 16 years but would still only use it if an "accident" wouldn't be a disaster.

If you don't want kids absolutely then continue to use condoms. Also you would need an STD check.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 31/03/2015 00:43

If you don't want anymore children keep using condoms.
Any unprotected sex carries the risk of pregnancy

TremoloGreen · 31/03/2015 01:01

Reminds me of this old joke:
What do you call a couple who use the rhythm method?

Parents.

yumyumpoppycat · 31/03/2015 01:07

Ha ha...that's so true, we tried going by 'safe days' when I ended up pg with lovely dc1, a friend had exactly the same experience.

The Amazon link only has 5 reviews and 2 are 1 star...not really that reassuring. Maybe it would be ok if you combined with withdrawal? Unless you are very committed to each other and ok with the fact she may end up pg I would say its prob not a good idea.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/03/2015 01:10

Putting all the responsibility on her is foolish and irresponsible. Unless you're fine with children; belt and braces.

Optimist1 · 31/03/2015 01:11

I'd say it depends on whether you want to take precautions or take risks..

Optimist1 · 31/03/2015 01:12

I'd say it depends on whether you want to take precautions or take risks..

ReallyTired · 31/03/2015 02:19

Natural birth control results in kids. At the age of 24 women are mega fertile. I conceived ds at the same age as a happy accident.

Totality22 · 31/03/2015 06:47

DD is a result of the natural method (and a lunchtime glass of wine!!!)

We were a few months from actively ttc though so no big deal.

Agree with everyone else carry on using condoms

olympicsrock · 31/03/2015 06:55

I am now 5 months pregnant using the rhythm s method of contraception. I am in my late 30s very regular 28 day cycle and it took it took us 6 months of trying to conceive having sex at least every day around ovulation day to conceive our first child 4 years ago. We thought we were fairly safe and only had sex once in about a month this time.. This is a happy accident but has been very bad timing for my career. Stick to condoms.....

Pusspuss1 · 31/03/2015 07:02

You're right not to be. She's extremely fertile at that age, and is likely to conceive by relying on the Ladycomp or similar. I did manage to use the fertility awareness method to avoid conceiving for about 18 months, and then conceived on the first try when I wanted to, so it can be reasonably effective, but that was in my 30s when an unplanned baby would have been earlier than expected, not a disaster. I'm also very pro-choice, whereas I would guess your girlfriend has strong views on abortion, too? Condoms are your friend, matey!

scaevola · 31/03/2015 07:06

Did you know MN has a contraception topic?

If you and/or she want to talk about contraception, then that might be a better place (though shorter thread). Because there are various methods of NFP, and those devices are amongst the most unreliable.

If you just want to make jokes about doing it religiously, as you were.

Penfold007 · 31/03/2015 07:07

No contraception chemical, barrier or natural is 100% effective. Sex can always result in pregnancy no matter how careful you are. If avoiding fatherhood is important to you then you need to use condoms.

londonrach · 31/03/2015 07:31

She wants a baby with you op!

SenatusPopulusqueRomanorum · 31/03/2015 07:39

If you don't want a baby, use condoms.
I refuse to use the pill or the coil, but DH and I used natural fertility methods when an unplanned pregnancy would only have been earlier than planned and not a complete disaster.

CycleChic · 31/03/2015 07:39

Trust your instincts, and keep the condoms. Also, yy! ! To what previous posters have said about knowing where you both stand on abortion and getting sti checks before doing without a barrier (oral too! friend's boyfriend died from throat cancer caused by HPV and it was GRIM, it does my nut in that girls get a vaccine for this on the nhs but boys don't! )

maliaki · 31/03/2015 08:42

I would swear by condoms rather then that, though combining would be a good idea for extra reassurance. Use.of an unreliable system paves the way for children....

whyhasmyheadgonenumb · 31/03/2015 08:46

I have 2 DC by this method......

sashh · 31/03/2015 08:50

When you take your temp with one of those machines, er, well.... you don't put the thermometer under your tongue, if you do it is not accurate and both of those are expensive ways of taking a temperature.

I went to an RC girls' school, we were taught about temperature and 'Billings method' etc.

The only time that was useful to me was to tell a friend how to do it in reverse because she was ttc.

In the words of Richard Madely, "the rhythm method, or Chloe as it's knoiw in our household..."

seriouslypeedoff · 31/03/2015 09:01

We were told about the rhythm method at school in RE because it was a catholic school. We were also told in no uncertain terms that of you chose to have sex and didn't want a baby, it wasn't the way to go. They only advised rhythm method if getting pregnant wouldn't be the end of the world. In biology we were taught about contraception. In A-level theology it opened up a great debate about obey catholic rules. Simple fact is if you don't want a baby, no way no how. You can only guarantee it by not having sex. Since that's probably not going to happen, you would be stupid to use the rhythm method only.

MostlyCake · 31/03/2015 09:03

We have been thinking about using the natural family planning thing.....but not after reading this thread!!

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