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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use 'natural' birth control

56 replies

ramanoop · 31/03/2015 00:14

I'm not currently married, and do not (currently) want any more kids.

My current girlfriend is young - 24. And she doesn't take the pill. So I use condoms. Except that she uses a natural fertility computer religiously, and swears by it.

It's either this: www.amazon.co.uk/Uebe-0630-Cyclotest-Temperature-Fertility/dp/B001F7FXP4

Or this:
www.lady-comp.com/

I don't think I'm fully comfortable with the idea yet....

OP posts:
Cadenza1818 · 31/03/2015 09:07

Natural contraception is 97% effective if done correctly. However I'm happy with a 3% risk cos I'm married and don't mind more kids. Personally I'd keep covering up!

lunalovegood84 · 31/03/2015 09:08

If you learn to do it properly it's one of the most effective methods of birth control. We used it successfully to avoid for over a year, then TTC and conceived first month.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 31/03/2015 09:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Discopanda · 31/03/2015 09:12

I used the rhythm method successfully for about 4 months, then I got pregnant.

autumnboys · 31/03/2015 09:21

We used it to avoid successfully for over a year, then to conceive our last dc, within a couple of months. But even the lady who taught me the Creighton method wanted to know if another baby would be a disaster.

Marynary · 31/03/2015 09:23

I think it is good for people who just want to space out their children (i.e. aren't too bothered about accidental pregnancy) but not for anyone else.

CalleighDoodle · 31/03/2015 09:28

I used NFP for my entire marriage. I didnt use a monitor or anything. I used temps etc. i got pregnant three times. Each pregnancy planned.

If done properly it is as effective as some unnatural form. 90s. But as with all contraceptive theres risks. And with NFP you are totally reliant on your girlfriend doing it acccurately and communicating accurately with you. Factor in human error, alcohol effecting temps (mine were sky high if hungover! Which is obvs a false result), the fact that it is faffy and i really would not use it with someone i am Not married to. My husband and i would have welcomed a child at any point so for us there was no risk.

CalleighDoodle · 31/03/2015 09:30

Half a dozen of the people i know who have got pregnant accidentally in the last 3 years were either using condoms or had a coil fitted.

CalleighDoodle · 31/03/2015 09:30

Actually one of those got pregnant twice on condoms, so 7 in three years

QuietChocolateEggHunter · 31/03/2015 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LumionaMoonsplash · 31/03/2015 10:37

DC2 also conceived by this method. We used condoms 13yrs before this one month.

Mamus · 31/03/2015 10:44

FAM done properly (the properly is key) is up to 99% effective, so if you are willing and able to put the time and effort in, and to abstain or use alternative methods at fertile times, it can be excellent. But I can't stress how important it is to do it properly. Withdrawal isn't FAM, just going by a calendar isn't FAM.

Krytes42 · 31/03/2015 10:46

NFP (temperature / mucus checking) can be very effective, but to use only NFP for contraception you would have to avoid sex completely until after ovulation has been detected. If you're not willing to do that, you'd still need to use a condom / other barrier method on those days.

leedy · 31/03/2015 10:52

I do know a few people who've used NFP and not had an unwanted pregnancy, but they've been mega-careful about charting temps, observing cervical mucus, etc., were in a LTR where it wouldn't have been a disaster to have another baby a bit earlier than planned, and also either avoided sex or used condoms for a fairly large chunk of their cycle "just to be sure". Also frankly the bit of my cycle when I'm most fertile is also when I most want to, er, do it, so I couldn't see myself using NFP on its own at all. Agree with everyone else that if you really don't want a child right now it's a risky proposition.

(I can't do hormones myself so always just used condoms and am going to get a copper coil)

Instituteofstudies · 31/03/2015 11:07

I don't think it's reliable enough if you really don't want to have kids. We use the withdrawal method but I'm in my mid- 50's and starting the menopause so my fertility levels are extremely low. Would definitely not have used it when we were younger though as would have been constantly on edge.

BreconBeBuggered · 31/03/2015 11:10

I managed NFP for around 8 years successfully, without so much as taking my temperature. But without going into too much detail I'm hyper-aware of changes in my body, and was pretty confident about my cycle and when we needed to break out the condoms. Conceived very quickly once we stopped, so no fertility problems. However, I don't think I'd have trusted any kind of external system to tell me when I was or wasn't fertile, even though pregnancy wouldn't have been the end of the world. Certainly wouldn't rely on it in your position, OP.

VikingLady · 31/03/2015 14:08

We tried this method. I'm currently 40+4!

But we knew we wanted another child, just hadn't agreed on timings. And as I pointed out to DH when we started using it, it's what Catholics use and there are a lot of Catholics in the world..... Grin

VikingLady · 31/03/2015 14:10

And you can ovulate twice in a month, have an unexpectedly early or late ovulation, run temperatures or have an unusually low temp for various reasons (including not taking the measurement in exactly the same way/different time of day/switching to thinner duvet and being colder).

scotswoman · 31/03/2015 14:22

I have been using FAM for 6 years but spent about the first 6 months always using condoms until I was sure I knew my body. I still err on the side of caution so use condoms about 2 weeks of my cycle.

I think people who say 'I used it but knew it wouldn't be a disaster if we had a baby' can't be compared to those who really don't want a baby and use it. I do not want a baby so I use it properly every time.

We are in a long term committed relationship and are in agreement about all aspects of it though.

WellYesOfCourseYouAre · 31/03/2015 15:16

My friend used natural birth control, now has a 18 month old to show for it.

scaevola · 31/03/2015 15:29

If you want it to be reliable enough, you need to combine temperature, mucus examination and calendar, and keep detailed charts for several months so you really do know your cycle. If helps if you're regular, because otherwise over half the month can be unsafe.

If you do all that, it's probably no worse than 'typical' condom use (rips, slips, donned too late etc). But a heck of a lot more effort.

grimbletart · 31/03/2015 17:02

OP suggest you Google contraception failure rates before you decide whether Vatican roulette is for you.

DontDrinkandFacebook · 31/03/2015 17:07

I'm not sure what you are asking exactly. Are you asking if it's okay to ditch the condoms based on your GF's choice of birth control method?

If so, I'd say a massive NO. But then if you are absolutely adamant that you do not want any more children at the moment and you would be angry/devastated if she announced she was PG and wanted to keep it, then I'd say use the condoms NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS SHE'S ON.

scaevola · 31/03/2015 17:08

Extract from contraception text book giving failure rate

It's always with looking at the 'typical' rather than 'perfect' use rate (though NHS pages tend to use the latter).

wildred · 31/03/2015 19:06

IME most women who choose natural birth control methods are those who are secretly keen on having another but haven't quite managed to convince their partner yet Wink Hence so many 'little accidents'.