HV has told me that my 20 month old DD is overweight. I'm at a loss

[Unappreciatedandfat]

I've always put in every effort to make sure she eats healthily, she loves fruit and veg and I make every meal from scratch, no junk etc. She has small portions and they fill her up easily. She has the very occasional treat and only drinks milk or water.

We live on a farm so she's a very active toddler (she's been walking since 11 months) and just generally loves being outside. I'm so disheartened because I really thought that I was setting her up for being fit and healthy. I've recently lost 3-4 stones in weight jus through doing more exercise.
I see my friends with their toddlers who are a similar age and the right weight and they're fed chips, crisps, chocolate and given fizzy drinks and are sat inside all day long watching TV. What the hell have I done so wrong?

And, tiggy, as recommended, OP goes to GP, if she remains concerned. It is good that children are having their weight checked and no, health professionals shouldn't molly coddle parents about the outcome. However, an HV is not the last word in child development.

I've just had a look at d's old red book - she was small for dates so was measured a lot in the beginning - and I can see that she was incorrectly weighed/measured several times (lets face it, they might put on/lose weight quite quickly, but you'd have a hard job getting shorter!!!).

OP your little dd is fine!

I think I'm going to run with the advice about filling up on biscuits for myself. DCs will have to make do with rice cakes.

She looks like a chunky, chubby, NORMAL baby,
And your measurements have backed that up.

Don't be upset. And your weight loss is amazing, I'm 2 stone down on a 5 stone journey, so very jealous!

Thank you all!! Isn't it amazing that all of the negative posters have just fucked off vanished?!

Well doneslithy that's ace!! You're almost halfway .

I'm just watching her running around after pet lambs outside and she's as happy and carefree as can be, I want her to stay that way for as long as possible

My goodness - I wish I could do as well as you with weight loss - well done that is a great achievement. For what its worth I think your little girl looks absolutely fine,not overweight at all, and she is obviously leading a lovely healthy outdoor life. I think it's real shame you were made to feel bad, it sounds to me like you are doing a great job

She looks gorgeous and just right to me.

I had a HV tell me that EBF DS1 was going to be very overweight with heart problems when he was 4 months old. She was that fat I was squashed up against one of the arms of my 2 seater sofa while she took up the rest of it. I showed her the door!

DS1 is 20 now, in the army and can run a mile and a half in 8 mins 40. There's not an ounce of fat on him and his heart is fine!

Pleased it was the scales. The new weight makes a lot more sense against her height. There is no way she weighs the same as my much older and taller DD looking at her pictures.

Homemade vegetable soup???!! I wish my DD would eat my soups. She just says they are yukky. Sigh.

tiggy it would be nice if weight was merely an indicator if health, but sadly we live in an image focussed culture where "overweight" for some people (not me thank fuck) equals ugly, lazy, unattractive. People, especially certain assholes on MN think it's ok to berate people for being overweight.

Also, the BMI is a notoriously crude tool for assessing a healthy weight.

Surely it is more helpful to promote a healthy, active lifestyle and healthy eating instead of relying on BMI. If someone is very overweight it is normally obvious. I am a huge supporter of the NHS but I actually think they are tackling obesity in entirely the wrong way.

I don't mean to hijack this thread, but:

A study out today shows that virtually no parent can correctly see that their overweight child is overweight - it just doesn't happen. So going by looks alone doesn't help.

I can see my child is overweight...

Also, Decaff the BMI calculator on the NHS website confirms that she is. Nothing to do with Mumsnet, fat shaming or body image. I've asked for advice in helping her to manage her weight (so that she doesn't notice or have an issue with it). I wouldn't be doing my job if I ignored it, would I?

I am sure that the HV has an official line that she has to follow, but as a mum I've noticed a lot of kids who were chubby toddlers but thinned out by the time they were preteens without any interventions. It was just the way they were meant to grow.

If you are serving healthy, small portions I don't think there is anything else you can or should do.

sponge I heard about that study and my understanding was that it found that parents only notice when their DC are very overweight. I just said, when someone is very overweight it is noticeable. I am not saying that I would ignore a higher BMI, even if my DC looked healthy to me, but think it should not be the only tool used to assess a healthy weight or a healthy child.

tiggy, very true. Think negative body image is a huge problem.

OP, your DD is gorgeous. She appears perfectly normal to me. I gave up on seeing the HV after she told me that my EBF 6 month old baby was fat. Cheeky mare. All I saw was a cuddly, smiling blue eyed hunk of lovely. Ignore the HV. You can live without scales, weights and centiles.

tiggy I know it wasn't personal :)

Decaff it's hard because I am very cautious about how to proceed. I posted in the weightloss thread a while back about DD's weight and the best way to help her and someone said I had my own issues with food (I don't think I do, unless liking food counts but I'm not sure how they could tell based on one thread ).

So it's tricky - I want to do my best for her and to help her be healthier (and so the mean girls at school stop pointing and whispering about her when they are getting changed for PE). She doesn't need to be skinny and probably never will be. She has an amazing self-image at the moment - she believes that being strong and muscular (she has the most amazingly muscular thighs) is better than thin. Unfortunately, the silly girls at school don't think the same way. I worry that it's only a matter of time before they say something that she takes to heart.

I agree, she sounds like she has a lovely life. What a lucky little girl to be running about outdoors playing with pet lambs.

Ah ok tiggy, I must have misheard the details. I find that really, really surprising. sorry OP for hijack!

She told me about the girls pointing and whispering about her, in case you were wondering.

I have read your post...You give her a great balanced diet . She looks fine. She has plenty exercise.. I don't think anyone should just dismiss HV advise however consider it and decide if it applies to your child.

sponge, your DD sounds very well adjusted. I really hope the girls at her school improve their behaviour with age. Maybe the school should educate them on body image. Saw something called 'the self esteem team' on tv this morning. They go round schools talking about body image. Maybe they could help? Www.selfesteemteam.org

Sorry again OP for hijack!

Ooh goody a hv bashing thread, it's been far too long since we had one of those
So the scales were apparently wrong. That's good.
But many children are far too heavy for their age and height. Sometimes there is no real reason and it will right itself, other times its due to overfeeding, poor diet and apathy with parents being more than economical with the truth about their child's diet.
It's nothing personal, it's factual and can have very bad outcomes for children's future health. If your child is off the centime charts I'm going to tell you and give you advice or refer you on. Just like I would if your child had issues with speech, couldn't walk aged 2, had an unusually large or odd shaped head. Whether you choose to ignore and say I'm talking crap/know nothing like all health visitors is up to you. But you might, maybe one day be thankful that a problem was detected and acted upon it early.

My kids get chunky then taller then chunky then taller so whether they are overweight or not according to the charts would depend entirely on where they are in the chunk/taller cycle