HV has told me that my 20 month old DD is overweight. I'm at a loss

[Unappreciatedandfat]

I've always put in every effort to make sure she eats healthily, she loves fruit and veg and I make every meal from scratch, no junk etc. She has small portions and they fill her up easily. She has the very occasional treat and only drinks milk or water.

We live on a farm so she's a very active toddler (she's been walking since 11 months) and just generally loves being outside. I'm so disheartened because I really thought that I was setting her up for being fit and healthy. I've recently lost 3-4 stones in weight jus through doing more exercise.
I see my friends with their toddlers who are a similar age and the right weight and they're fed chips, crisps, chocolate and given fizzy drinks and are sat inside all day long watching TV. What the hell have I done so wrong?

Before you worry, weigh her again. A couple of times (you don't need to put her on the scales, pick her up and check the weight while you distract her, then you can subtract your weight from that). And measure her height yourself too. HCPs have frequently incorrectly recorded DD's weight and height - I keep a close eye on them now when they're doing it!

The HV always says I need to try and feed my dd more because she's very small. But that's just her build, I feed her plenty..sometimes the charts worry people unnecessarily

She doesn't look massivey overweight- I would recheck to. My DD turned 4 yesterday and is 15kg but when she was 2 was 12.7kg, she's only 97cm and has short legs and a long body- like me, so never really had a pot belly but did have chunky legs. She can still fit into some 18-24 month loose material leggings because her legs are still short but have thinned out so much. Equally, she really got into playing independently inside, never really sits still Since about 3, prior to that she was very sedentary. She had to stop drinking milk at 2.5 as she had allergic reaction, suddenly wheezing had to take her into hospital for it and I did notice that she really grew into her weight then. She has oat milk now. I was really worried about the lack of milk at 2 but she's fine with yoghurt and cheese so i compensated with those. I think you will find she does grow into her weight as that diet sounds very good. In comparison with friend's the one thing I would say is that I know children 2 onwards that seemingly eat cake and are small but sometimes I've noticed they look at the whole day so the toddler may eat more like 5 meals a day and lunch maybe be one bit of cheese and a strip of bread- literally a finger with one tomato, then later on they have a slice if cake at 3ish so it appears they can have junk and lunch and dinner but in reality it's not a true representation. I think your way is healthier but these parents often aren't so fixated on breakfast lunch dinner meal scenarios. Maybe one proper meal at tea time the rest is more snacks id say.

Did they measure her height standing up or sitting down? I think the graphs are based on length rather than height until 2. That would make quite a difference in the centile difference.

Lying down, not sitting down!

I heard, when DS was deemed overweight by the nurse who weighed him in reception, that BMI measurements are wholly inaccurate and a totally wrong way to assess children under a certain age (I don't remember what the age is, but at 5 he was under it). Anyway, they said he was likely to be an obese adult, that I didn't think he was overweight because I was used to him being that size and, reading between the lines, I wasn't a good judge of whether he was overweight or not.

A few months on, he's had a growth spurt, and is all tall and gangly. So, I don't rate these measurements much.

mrsshapley she didn't put the photos to be judged, she out them up to get other peoples opinions. And of course people are discussing what food the child is eating. Its the first thing any parent would think of. What's wrong with discussing portion size, toddlers have recommended portion sizes, the same as everyone. One person used the word fatties. The majority of the thread has been to have the child remeasured and speak to the go to put the OPs mind at rest.

Op does your dd have a longer body and shorter legs. My ds does and I often wondered if that accounted for his weight as he never ever looked overweight. He was 4 weeks early and weighed just off 7 pounds when he was born but had to wear early baby clothes as he was so tiny!

Well , from what you have said, you are giving ypur daughter very healthy food. But given her weight she is "overweight".
I had the exact opposite problem to you - toddler with healthy diet but underweight (having been 50th percentile). I spoke to my (very good) HV about portion size, variety etc and then tracked the weight over six months.

Ds has stayed at the same weight but having kept a food diary and having him weighed regularly means the HV is on side and we have agreed that he his just a skinny( healthy) minnie.

So, i think the best thing you can do is engage with a HV you like and trust (if jot go to the Gp) and get this tracked over 6mths/year. Ask for info re portion size etc.

It must be very hard to hear that your dd is overweight, so. I really feel for you. It is hardwired into us to feed our children and make them healthy so it is difficult when you hear something like this.

Hi think she does have a longer body and shorter legs (her dad does) whereS I have longer legs and a shorter body.

I was in no doubt that she was on the chunky side but I kind of thought that was normal, toddlers and babies are generally chunky! She hasn't had a noticeable growth spurt for quite a while now so maybe she is due one?

Speak to GP. And, by the way, your username might be unappreciated but your lovely soup would be very appreciated in the sparky house.
I'd recommend changing your user name to something a bit more positive. And ignore the hv - sounds like a box ticking power trip to me. Your GP should be more useful.

I have 4 children. Two have been labelled as overweight (one as mentioned above) - my 9 year old has issues still, really. The other 2 are fine to underweight. My 4 year old weighs about 16 kilos. I'm not sure how much DD2 weighs - but she hardly eats a thing. She gets full up very quickly and my 4 year old does pick at food and then gets fed up with it. DS1 seems to eat and then stops. He doesn't over eat. He will often leave things on his plate. He's incredibly active. My 9 year old though really doesn't seem to know when to stop. I've had to start limiting her food: no seconds, no pudding unless it's fruit, more exercise. She's not happy about it, but it is making a difference.

I know our portions are too large. I read that the amount of food needed at any one meal, should be enough to fill (not over fill) the cupped hands of the person eating it. That's not a huge amount really - but compare what you give your DD on her plate to what she could fit into her cupped hands.

15 kg sounds a lot, but babies grow unpredictably. How heavy was she at birth?

My ds was 12 kg at 12 months - and then only grew and was still 12 kg at 36 months. HV was most astonished. He just stretched and grew and ate like a horse.
He's 14 now, skinny, 42kg at 165cm, underweight.
I saw one health visitor when he was 12 months who told me to stop breastfeeding, he was heading towards obesity. I laughed at her.

My youngest was the same, very heavy baby (4.7kg), lots of weight gained in the first year (12.5kg at 12 months), then very slow weight gain. I remember she was 14 kg for almost a year while growing. She is a skinny rake at 6, last time I weighed she was 18kg.

I always put down their weight gain to breastfeeding, and being heavy to start with. My youngest was almost off the percentiles at birth, so why should I be bothered with it?
As long as they eat healthily and are active, don't let the HV intimidate you and more importantly, don't let your dc develop a sense that there is something wrong with their body shape.

Most of a toddlers weight is in the trunk and head so toddlers with little legs do come out disproportionately heavier on BMI charts. This should even out by 3/4 when increases in height are mostly accounted for by growth of the legs.

I think it is too early to be worrying OP. Your dd sounds very healthy, and her diet and portions sound fine. Start with a trip to the GP to recheck measurements and take it from there. Chances are her very young age, a bit of mismeasurement, having little legs and an imminent growth spurt have combined to make a totally normal situation sound bad.

Hmmm, your daughter's build is very similar to my daughter's when she was 20 months old. However, she weighed about 11kg. I really think there must be a mistake in the weighing. My daughter is now 22 months old now and shot up to 90cm in the last month or so so maybe your is due a growth spurt as some have suggested here. Weighs just over 12kg.

What ever you do don't worry to much (I know easier said...). She is active and eats very well.

By the way one of the parents I was talking about who wasn't too fussed about their twin toddlers sitting down to three square meals was a GP. They were slight toddlers but seemingly ate junk- nothing was forbidden but the GP parent was only concerned about whether they'd had all the food groups over a day not at every meal.

I was told the same op. Then my dd shot up an inch and a half and was suddenly the lighter end of normal lol. Shes 2 1/2 now and nearly 14 kg but tall. I know shes classed as marginally overweight but shes getting ready to grow again.

She too has a very healthy diet but enjoys food (shes never been a fussy eater). They all grow differently.

I've just accessed the NHS BMI tool via someone's recommendation on another thread. It brings my son (currently on 91st centile in height and weight) out as high end of healthy. Might be worth putting your daughters stats in there and reassuring yourself.

www.nhs.uk/tools/documents/healthy_weight_v3/healthy_weight.html?variant=phone

She looks fine. I don't think my children would have eaten quite as much at that age, but she is probably hungry from all the walking.

OP - your DD looks normal to me and a similar physique to my 20 month old and his little friends, but DS3 weighs a few kg less. 15 kgs sounds rather heavy and I'm not surprised you're a little shocked by it - it could be that HV mis-recorded so definitely worth getting it checked out again. If you're worried I'd suggest making an appointment with your GP to discuss it.

My son would have been described as being mobidly obese at the same age (BMI is pretty meaningless for individuals BTW) but it was a normal stage for him which didn't last long.

MrsShapely, don't you think your attitude is a bit selfish?

Luckily for your son he grew out of it, but it's not so lucky for over a fifth of 4-5 year olds who start school either overweight or obese...and that's just in England alone.

So if the OP has been told her toddler is overweight, she has every right to want to discuss it, along with everyone else on the thread.

Charts can definitely be iffy. At 2 I was predicted to be so tall they were discussing some form of meds to halt my growth. Mum said no, and I've only reached 5ft 10 and a bit
Yet at birth due to being so premature they said I would be petite

I agree she should be re weighed at home. Looking at the pictures I can't believe those figures are right.

DD is 15kg and she is 3.5 and over a metre talk. There is no way your DD would be in 18-24 months clothes if she weighed 15kg at 20 months and only 82cm tall.

Right it may be that your perception is off a little bit. The reason I say this is because you have told us you have just lost 4/5 stone (fantastic) but then in another post say 'I have carried a little weight'. 4/5 stone overweight is actually quite a lot.

And contrary to what other posters say I do think your little girl looks overweight, I'm sorry, not as much as the kg thing implies, but a little on the big side.

I think she may need to be more active (they are usually constantly on the go/running etc. as toddlers) than 2 walks per day. And you may be overfeeding just a little bit.

This is not meant to upset you and do go to your GP just to check the weight. I would also say I overfed one of mine as a toddler because his appetite seemed to be huge, he was a little overweight (no one ever mentioned it) and I only noticed at preschool when I saw him next to a lot of other kids the same age. He is now on 50th centile, I just reduced his portion size- what I was doing was giving a 2 year old 4 year old meals, now he still has the same size meal but uses all the energy.