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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be a tad pissed off my child was left alone

167 replies

gingermopped · 28/03/2015 17:02

ds had a party today to go to, 7th birthday, pizzahut, 12-2.
dropped him at 12, mum of bday boy said prefer parents didnt stay
they had my mobi num and i said id b in costa a few doors down.
went to collect him at 1.55 (5mins early) as walked through resturant the birthday boys mum walked past me on way out, i only twigged it was her wen she was past me but thought perhaps birthday boys dad was still there.
got to bak of resturant and my boy and 1 other lad was sat on there own holding party bags looking puzzled and sad.
waited few mins as thought mum would b bak but no!
im bloody fuming, who leaves kids of that age, surely hosts should stay untill all kids safely bak with parents

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 29/03/2015 11:28

My 10 year old had a Pizza Hut party, some parents stayed and others didn't.
I wouldn't have even considered leaving before they had all been collected, I always do a " had a lovely time, thanks for pressie, they ate loads" handover chat and the parents always thanks me and makes sure the child does too. In fact one of the mums had a major fall out with her husband and the pair of them went off to yell at each other in the carpark leaving her daughter AND little brother. No sign of the parents at the end so after waiting I texted her and said I was taking them home with me. She came for them later - I wasn't bothered as her husband ( now ex) is an arse and it wasn't her fault.
I would be livid if my 10 year old, let alone 6/7 year old was left alone in a public restaurant.
Sounds like she looked after her little clique and sod everyone else, what a cow!!

ragged · 29/03/2015 11:54

I'm still betting Host-Mom saw both Collecting-Moms getting out of their cars which is why she walked out the door.

Brusque but not the same as abandonment.

ChaiseLounger · 29/03/2015 11:56

Patents stayed? At a 10 year olds party? Really?

bumbleymummy · 29/03/2015 11:57

I'd rather more parents stayed at parties tbh. Children behave much better when their parents are around. :)

RitaOrange · 29/03/2015 12:02

Why did your DS and his DF look puzzled and sad ???
Ask them- it sounds odd.
She sounds ungracious and a poor host tbh.
Even if you are at the end of the party utterly exhausted and delighted its over you wave the guests off etc.

SpearmintLino · 29/03/2015 12:08

I'm a teacher, and have waited for nearly 2 hours before on the road outside the school with a child who hadn't been collected on time after a school trip. When the mother eventually arrived, she didn't say anything to me, let alone a thank you!

Some people are odd. Fact.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 29/03/2015 12:10

What did your DS and his friend say party mum had said to them? Were they just told to wait patiently for your arrival? I wouldn't be able to leave this until Monday tbh - then you get into the whole will I/won't I see her at school. It's very odd behaviour and I'd really need to know what her thought process was.

bloodyteenagers · 29/03/2015 12:15

Ragged how could she she see both get bag out of their cars?
On was a few doors down in a coffee shop.
The other arrived 5 minutes after the op, well after the last person walked out.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 29/03/2015 12:27

That was rude and irresponsible of the 'host' op. A 7 yo should not be left alone in a restaurant and if the host saw you arrive then she would have acknowledged you on the way in. Very odd behaviour.

Phanto is it really the done thing to micromanage a cinema trip for 15 yo these days? I haven't got one yet so I shall find out I suppose but when I was 15 I made my own plans without much parental involvement - as they did not drive I made my own way to places though so maybe the expectations are different then. Dh is expecting to become taxi dad in a way that seems alien to me... Maybe I should start my own thread on this though. Sorry op

pearpotter · 29/03/2015 12:32

I've stayed at a ten year old's party before because by the time I had driven home it would nearly be time to drive back again, and I didn't know the area well enough to plan something else to do. I sat away from the party in a cafe, reading a book. Was quite nice really.

RitaOrange · 29/03/2015 12:35

I think it depends on where you live big

My BF moved out into the idyllic countryside and is now a taxi service for her teens if they want to have a social life.

Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 29/03/2015 12:43

YANBU I'm surprised she left DC alone after asking you to leave.

YABU to say you are staying at the two parties next week. Stay nearby if you really must.

JemimaPuddlePop · 29/03/2015 12:44

Yanbu, I would be furious.

The questions about whether op was on time - that's utterly irrelevant. If you host a party for young kids and expect them to be left then you're responsible for them until you hand them back to whoever dropped them off.

Don't mince your words op.

ChaiseLounger · 29/03/2015 12:55

That's not the same pear, and you know it. We've all done that, stay because it was too far to come home. But we sat at a distance.

That wasn't what I was referring to. And I thought you would have realised that.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 29/03/2015 13:02

I agree with the poster about the 17yo being supervised until collected - DD is in the county youth orchestra & choir (age 14-21), all volunteers/staff/etc are DBS checked & safeguarding trained, and the young people can't sign their own attendance/consent and medical forms till over 18.

The staff would never dream of leaving anyone under 18 alone to be collected from a venue UNLESS they had either written notification beforehand that X was to make their own way home, or a phonecall on the day confirming parent was running late. I think they would still wait then TBH because they take their role as responsible person seriously.

I have awful memories of being in the school choir and being left outside a pitch dark church on my own aged 14 after a carol service (dark, secluded, wet & windy & no lighting!) because my dad was running late having been held up by an accident. No mobile phones, no phone box to phone home and see what was happening. I was there about 20 mins and it was the longest 20 minutes of my life. No one, not a teacher or another parent stayed with me!! They all assumed he was on his way and would not be long. I (stupidly) did not want to make a fuss and did not want to feel I was delaying the teachers! No way would this happen thesedays (I hope!!)

Anyway, back to the OP - don't foget to update us what her reason was!

Hakluyt · 29/03/2015 13:35

So do you pick your 6th formers up from school?

RitaOrange · 29/03/2015 13:42

Not sure who that question was to Hak ?
No mine cycle/bus to college.

Leaving them alone in the dark/secluded area is different if you are running a group etc

NorbertDentressangle · 29/03/2015 13:46

Totally unacceptable if she left knowing they were there on their own.

Surely there must be some misunderstanding though like she thought all the children had been picked up (could the remaining 2 have been in the toilet or away from the table so she left, thinking they'd all been collected, and then the boys reappeared ?)

PHANTOMnamechanger · 29/03/2015 13:48

if that was @ me Hak, no (I don't have 6th formers) but my Y8 & 10 come home on the bus.
If they are staying after school I have to collect them as there is then no bus (very rural). When they are late back after a school trip and need collecting, there is no way the teachers would leave them in the school car park till collected, they are all checked off one by one.

susiedaisy · 29/03/2015 13:50

Op has she got back to you yet?

YoureAMeanGirl · 29/03/2015 13:57

I'd be furious. It appears you have a similar situation to me. dd recently started pre-school and has been invited to one party and I was invited to stay (though I assumed I would be, perhaps she wanted me to leave ) and it is difficult when they all know each other and you don't.

What impression of parent who left has your mutual parent friend given you? Does she have form for being a twat? Good luck Monday.

AuntyBrenda · 29/03/2015 14:07

She sounds odd, I imagine she saw you and that's why she left but it's odd to just walk past you and not say anything at all and that still doesn't have explain what she thought was happening with the other child left behind. Can't wait to hear her try to defend herself.

listsandbudgets · 29/03/2015 14:10

YANBU - the last time we did a party someone was over 2 hours late picking up their DD (single mum and a surgeon at the children's hospital and were dealing with an emergency that came in just as they were finishing shift) and it never occurred to us to leave her. What we did do was send a text to let them know we'd taken her home with us.

OhisHOME · 29/03/2015 14:35

YADNBU
and I'm not at all marking place to see what happens tomorrow

sockmatcher · 29/03/2015 14:39

I'd be furious too.

Haven't the kids broken up for Easter though?

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