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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to post a friendly reminder about school residential trips?

416 replies

ErmNoNoNo · 27/03/2015 23:09

Seems as good a time as any: lots of school posts (as always in AIBU), the wine is flowing (Friday) and the summer term is coming up (come on weather please)...

It seems every year that there are many parents that are genuinely shocked to find out that teacher and TAs who accompany the class on residential school visits do not get paid a single penny more than their normal wage.

Yes, we volunteer. Yes, we deal with all the tears. Yes, we are on duty 24 hours and sometimes get VERY little sleep. Yes, we deal with the vomit. Yes, we encourage and make sure they get the absolute best out of their time there. Yes, we deal with all medical issues even though, surprisingly we are not qualified. Yes, when its mid-week, we also have to go back into work the next day.

Yes... we would really, really appreciate it if you just say 'thank you', when you pick your child up at he end of it.

(all you REASONABLE parents, I know you do - but honestly, the amount of parents who think we get paid for this would shock you)

OP posts:
Rightokthen · 28/03/2015 12:40

Having done both, a weekend supervising children 24/7 is nothing like working away for the weekend. A ridiculous comparison.

mariamin · 28/03/2015 12:40

As a. Volunteer who as taken other people's kids camping, to youth hostels and camping barns, I have rarely been thanked by parents. The kids though have been very appreciative.

Philoslothy · 28/03/2015 12:43

I have never volunteered to go on a trip to advance my career, I have volunteered because I felt like a free trip to China... New York .... Iceland ....

snice · 28/03/2015 12:51

the TAs get a rougher deal in my opinion-paid for, on average, mornings only (3.5hrs) in our school but expected to put in 10,12,14 hour days on school trips!

soverylucky · 28/03/2015 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

finnbarrcar · 28/03/2015 13:40

A TA I had on a 4 day residential was an absolute diamond. Brilliant with the kids, really dedicated and enthusiastic. Her normal working hours were 24.5 per week, she must have put in about 60 hours in those 4 days. A week or so later she asked for unpaid leave for a funeral in Italy and the Headteacher refused her permission to do this. It can be really crap depending on the management in your school, thankfully that nasty cow is someone else's problem now, our new head is lovely.

jelliebelly · 28/03/2015 13:52

Must admit I never for one moment thought teachers would get paid extra for residential trips - why would they? For a salaried teacher presumably it's part of the job. Another of those things that you sign up for when you decide to become a teacher i'd have thought.

I don't quite get the point of the op but then I am a polite well mannered parent who would always say thankyou to anybody who has been looking after my child - even after a play date!

OutragedFromLeeds · 28/03/2015 13:58

The 'people don't say thanks to x, therefore it's ok to not thank y' arguments are ridiculous.

People should say thank you. Full stop. Just because you've encountered someone rude at work doesn't mean teachers don't have a right to complain when they're not thanked.

What sort of a community are we living in when we can argue 'well hairdressers don't get thanked Hmm, so I don't really see why teachers should expect thanks'?

Or worse, 'I don't get thanked at work and therefore it's unacceptable for anyone else to expect to be thanked'. You should expect to be thanked. If you don't, you've lost sight of what is basic manners. The people you work for/with are rude and you should call them on it. Telling someone else they can't be annoyed by lack of thanks, because you're not is so ridiculous. It's like someone in a sweatshop telling us to do away with the minimum wage, because after all they don't get the minimum wage so why should we? The idea is to elevate everyone to the level where they are treated well, not bring down others so they are treated badly too.

I am always thanked for going above and beyond at work, as I should be. I always appreciate the thanks and fully appreciate what a lovely job I have.

spanieleyes · 28/03/2015 14:09

No, it isn't part of the job, it is an additional extra that is, in the main, purely voluntary ( although some Heads don't seem to think so!) And whilst philoslophy might be enjoying trips to China, Iceland and New York, some of us are camping in muddy fields in Derbyshire!!
I LOVE doing residentials but they are hard work and they are above and beyond what is actually required, nowhere in any contract does it say I should have to sit up all night with vomitting children! Teachers volunteer to do them because we want children to experience things that perhaps they never would otherwise. It means leaving my own children, working 24 hours a day and yes, despite the general reaction on here, with very little thanks. I don't expect/want fulsome votes of gratitude, but a quick "thanks" wouldn't go amiss.

UptheChimney · 28/03/2015 14:12

well hairdressers don't get thanked

Hairdressers get a tip don't they? (I know I do).

But the level of expectation & entitlement by a lot of parents is unbelievable (not always here, just generally). Not a job I'd want to do ...

ChristyMooreRocks · 28/03/2015 14:16

the TAs get a rougher deal in my opinion-paid for, on average, mornings only (3.5hrs) in our school but expected to put in 10,12,14 hour days on school trips!

Yes, but the TAs don't have ultimate responsibility on a trip. If anything happens on the trip, then unless the TA is directly responsible, the buck stops with the lead teacher. Tbh, that makes a big difference and when you are on a trip and you know you are in ultimate charge, it makes it much more stressful.

ChristyMooreRocks · 28/03/2015 14:18

I did have a chuckle at the assertion that doing residentials will further your career!

OutragedFromLeeds · 28/03/2015 14:25

Upthe IME hairdressers get both a tip and a thank you. I'm referencing comments up thread about how hairdressers never demand thanks and therefore teachers who do are unreasonable.

WayfaringStranger · 28/03/2015 14:27

A couple of people have said that willingness for residential trips will progress your career, so chuckle away.

I would always say thank you. I find this thread patronising and distasteful because people are expecting it. That's the issue.

noblegiraffe · 28/03/2015 14:31

For a salaried teacher presumably it's part of the job. Another of those things that you sign up for when you decide to become a teacher i'd have thought.

No it isn't. I'm a secondary maths teacher and while I did do some residential trips before I had children (and was never thanked by any parent at pick-up, despite all the people on here asserting that thanks should be the norm), I haven't done any since having children. I have never been personally asked to, nor has it been commented upon by SLT or hampered my pay progression. It has definitely been an optional extra rather than part of my job. I've done some day outings, but they're a piece of piss in comparison.

OutragedFromLeeds · 28/03/2015 14:37

It is not 'distasteful' to expect people to say thank you Wayfaring. You take issue with someone expecting basic politeness from the people they work with/for? Really?!

Are you incredibly rude? I can't imagine anyone with basic manners finding it 'distasteful' that someone should expect a 'thank you'.

spanieleyes · 28/03/2015 14:38

I always expect good manners.
( oh, and the people who have said that willingness for residential trips will progress your career don't, in most cases, actually seem to be teachers!)

soverylucky · 28/03/2015 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

teacherwith2kids · 28/03/2015 14:51

On a recent residential, I (several times) had to serve something to all the children.

The first time I did it, about 5-10% of the children automatically said 'thanks' or 'thank you'. I reminded the rest, as they were going on to be served by members of staff the centre, who I wanted to make sure that every child thanked. 2nd time I did it, about 50% of children said thank you. By the third and fourth times, very few children failed to thank me ... and I could predict who those would be, because of my previous contacts with their parents.....

It doesn't cost anything to teach your child to be polite and say thank you, and one of the best ways to do that is to model it yourself, every time...

ChristyMooreRocks · 28/03/2015 14:52

I don't know, maybe it's different in secondary but ime in primary if you are teaching in the year group, you go on the trip - 'willingness' doesn't really come into it!

UptheChimney · 28/03/2015 14:53

IME hairdressers get both a tip and a thank you. I'm referencing comments up thread about how hairdressers never demand thanks and therefore teachers who do are unreasonable

I agree! I find it extraordinary that parents don't thank anyone for looking after their darlings 24/7. I know I was eternally grateful when my DS went on school trips and Scouts stuff. Although I suspect he behaved better on those trips than with me ... I certainly hope so!

But you know, i think this is all of a piece with other debates I've seen on here -- who gives up what seat on a train or bus and so on. There's a type of parent who appears to behave as if they think that everyone else should be thankful to them for the delight of the presence of their child.

I really fear for what sort of a world we're creating in this regard.

Mehitabel6 · 28/03/2015 14:56

What is wrong with expecting a 'thank you'?

Exactly.

So far 194 messages on something that most polite people would do without thinking! They wouldn't argue about it being part of someone's job,that they are doing it for their own career or they shouldn't expect it.

The bus driver is paid to take me from a-b, but it costs nothing to give him a cheery 'thank you' as you get off.

Philoslothy · 28/03/2015 14:59

I used to co lead DofE I have done my fair share of camping in muddy fields, to be fair I love camping in muddy fields.

PunkrockerGirl · 28/03/2015 15:08

You're absolutely right, Chimney
The teachers should be thanking the parents for the pleasure of their precious snowflake' s company, not the other way round Grin

TheFairyCaravan · 28/03/2015 15:09

The bus driver is paid to take me from a-b, but it costs nothing to give him a cheery 'thank you' as you get off.

I agree, but you don't see threads on here giving people a "friendly reminder to say thank you" from bus drivers, waitresses, chefs, air stewards, street cleaners, rubbish collectors etc.

We very often get these threads from some teachers. They don't put those who post them in a good light imo, and not only that it starts to tar everyone with the same brush and most teachers don't want to be seen as such martyrs ime.