AIBU- friends 'push present'

[selly24]

Perhaps I am sensitive as I believe in thoughtful, modest giving in any case but feel I have learnt something new about a friend I consider close. She has just had first baby and was posting on social media asking advice about which new practical bag to get. Her dilemma was between a few very very high end designer bags that cost SEVERAL THOUSAND POUNDS! When I queried wether she should buy a FLAT instead she said 'come on its my push present'. I never knew such a thing existed (Surely the 'gift' is a healthy beautiful child!?) I thought I knew this girl, admired her for her lack of materialism, common sense: seems totally out of character as although (her husband) earns a good salary, they have a few nice things- but they got a lot of baby gear at nct sale, 2nd hand crib etc.... Thought her priorities were different....

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Hate the phrase but at what point was this any of your business?

So if she Bought a bag you "approved" off that would be OK?

This is a weird thread..

My DH bought me a push present (barf!) but then I had a c-section so he took it back to the shop. I hadn't earned it.

Ok I made that up. I think anyone who spends thousands on a bag is crazy but you get notions when you're pregnant.

If friend was considering a Mulbery I would applaud her. UK made, exceptional quality, good value. But no, more than double the cost of the most expensive Mulberry for a v small bag

Aw, you just sound a bit snobby now

The majority of Mulberry bags aren't made in the UK, and the quality apparently isn't what it used to be. And with their extortionate price rises over the last few years, definitely not good value?

Is your friend getting a Chanel bag? Now that is something I can get on board with.

Ohhh I want a chanel! Will leave this page open as the baby is a month today!
Where's my chanel!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it'd be a good idea if as a collective we could come up with a list of things that it is acceptable for women to spend their money on.

This week I have bought...

Tiles for the kitchen floor
A sat nav
Two pints of lager and two long Island iced teas
A giga pack of nappies
A new purse from vivienne Westwood

Please can you let me know which of these is incorrect and I will take it back (it's the nappies isnt it?)

Take back the nappies.....unless they are an unknown brand from lidl,
I need chanel to match my sunglasses....
Maybe I'll go buy one....in paris!

The term 'push present' is ridiculous, but the sentiment of a man wanting to get his partner a nice gift to thank her for growing, birthing and nurturing their child is lovely, assuming it is his idea and not hers. What is spent is entirely up to them, and I see it as no different to someone posting pics of a new house, car etc - all of which would cost more than a bag. She is just so delighted she wants to post. I have seen people post much more mundane crap, some people are interested in fashion so would be interested in her post. No one is interested to know that a friend got wet in the school run or just did a spin class or a poo.

It seems to be a trend amongst my friends/family to get a mulberry bag as a 'push present'. I'm not a fan, but that's possibly because we are infertile and the accompaniment of a gift as well as a baby seems incredibly indulgent...!

Currently I'm fed up of pictures of people's dinner, it's not like they are at the fat duck, it's a manky looking shepards pie FFs!

It's a vile term imo but I don't judge her. If they can afford it, who cares?! Lots of men buy their wives/girlfriends presents after they've had a baby.

Who said he's buying it? I bought myself an expensive (for me) bag after I had my son. I didn't have a few grand to spend but if I had I would've.

Hate the term, love the sentiment.

DH gave me something sapphire for DD1 (September baby/birthstone) and something emerald for DD2 (May ditto).

Each of the girls will receive it to pass down to their own eventual daughters or DIL.

I think it's a lovely idea.

Let's step back a minute, 'k? The OP's friend has used a phrase that sounds a bit stupid. She hasn't killed anyone.

It's a stupid but short phrase for "getting the woman you love, who is now a sore and sleep-deprived new mother, something really nice to cheer her up as she recovers from the birth". What's so bad about that? I had people bringing me fruit, flowers and cake because they cared about me!

And to everyone on the thread who's said that a baby should be all you need... . I hope no-one who has or had PND is reading this.

You sound really jealous op tbh. And not much of a friend. Wonder why you don't have many female friends...not.

My dh bought be jewellery for each child as a 'well done, love you, thank you'. So what?

It doesn't come from the US. My friends in Russia got fur coats when they gave birth (as opposed to sheepskin which tends to be cheaper obviously)!

I got a bunch of flowers from dh that died before I was even allowed home. I got home and had to put them straight in the bin. Now I'm wishing I had the foresight to fancy an expensive bag instead of the ugly changing bag I'm lumping around everyday!

Seriously OP, it's their money, their baby, their business.

I think being given a gift of any description to mark such a momentous occasion in life is a lovely thing to do, I got a bag of reduced price cherries when DD1 was born!

I know someone whose DH bought them a BMW when their first child was born.

If they can afford it, then why not?

I love the wooly shop bought mittens story mentioned earlier, that's really sweet

Is your friend getting a Chanel bag? Now that is something I can get on board with.

Me too. Mulberry bags are a shocking rip off these days.

I think now they have a child they need communal money- so no-one needs to but anyone anything. If she wants a bag she can buy it from their joint money. Share a child- share a bank account.

"Push present"!
WTF?!
Surely got to be an American term?!

I had an elective CS...do I still qualify for one?
I think your friend needs ditching for seriously discussing a "push present" in public, not the fact it's an outrageously expensive handbag.

I think my last elective cs was worth chanel! Far worse recovery than old fashioned pushing!

Turquoise - the name is American, the concept isn't.

IME - nothing brings out the indignation as spending a lot of money on a handbag. (When I asked for bag recommendations for a £800 budget I was told to buy a bench instead, or art. Or furniture, or anything but a bag, even though i'd use a bag more, but because it's 'immoral' to spend that much money on something for yourself.)

I'm afraid expensive handbags are a rather Marmite thing. I can't appreciate the difference between a £10 one and a £1000 one, and so I would ask for £1000 worth of expensive laptop, instead!