My 17 year old son has bought plane tickets to texas in America to meet a girl he met online, he is from scotland, I really need advice please.

[scottishmother]

He has made his mind up to go, to be honest I thought he would have saved up more money but he has sprung it on me and is going in 2 weeks time!! I have asked him things and he has told me, and it seems fine, but he does not like me to ask him anything as he thinks it is invading his privacy lol. He has been very secretive, and this is not helping my worrying, I have said to him I will not let him out the door without him giving me a address and letting me speak to the girl who is 2 years older than him first. I need advice as to what to do please as I am going out of my mind.

I was considering offering my contact details as an emergency back up for Op's son, seeing as I live in FW, but don't think he needs any help, I'm sure he's got everything covered (ahem). Oh, that cash he has access to? Has he thought about transaction charges everytime he takes money from his UK bank account, via the ATM? It'll whittle down his savings some.

Btw, over here, the phrase is 'panties in a bunch' not 'knickers in a twist', just in case he wants to blend in when he gets here. Bon voyage!

Ryan - Come sit by me ...

ryan and zerofundame

Can I join your party?

I'll put the kettle on Ryan, Queen and Zero.

It's a morose, head shaking, whiney emo music type of gathering.

No one who's tried being alone in the US with virtually no money (oh the nostalgia) would wish it on another human being ...

Hey, itsvery! I'm from Houston myself. Looking forward to a long visit this summer. Ah. But I'll have more than £350.

But, at the same time, don't we remember that rush of first love? When you would have done ANYTHING for The One (the one who actually noticed you?)

And, life in Sctoland doesn't sound exactly a dream for OP's son - so can't we all see the romanticism here?

Please go, OP's son, but let a film crew follow you. It will be intriguing viewing...

Ryan, Queen, Zero, Truly?

I'm thinking reverse.

I just find this really really strange. When any of my DC's went travelling (one does far more than the other), if I'd been offered help/telephone number/advice by anyone local in a far flung place, I would have jumped at it. Yet the OP turns down help and advice (rudely).

I was like psychomum, I was terrified about my DC going but what she hadn't covered with research in advance, I did. She was only just 18 and she was going to about 9 countries. Whilst she did the bulk of the planning, I knew exactly where she would be and when. She was very organised and meticulous, but still, there were a couple of sticky incidents that had me panicing, luckily she is sensible and level headed. However, I could have hopped on a plane within hours and got to her quickly and she had more than enough access to funds, unlike the OP's son who shas £4 a day. (BTW good luck psychomum to your daughter, she sounds very organised and it will be the trip of a lifetime )

All this seems just so haphazard, to be almost a joke. What I don't understand is.. - why can't he have a 2 week holiday to see if he actually likes this girl when he meets her? She is older, why can't she come over? Why won't she?

This boy sounds naive in the extreme. Is he worldly wise? Has he got himself to London or Newcastle or Birmingham or any big town miles away from his home?

My DCs had travelled round this country before they wanted to branch out and go abroad on their own or with friends. My DD had driven hundreds of miles round this country, she was a switched on girl. What can the OP say her son has done? You can't go from bedroom, X box and skype to halfway round the world to meet some random girl, it's just ridiculous.

Oh, Yoni, doncha know, Ft. Worth is way romantic . Right up there with Arkansas. And £50 a week, dude, that's like, maybe a whole tank of gas in the 4x4. Yeehaw!

It's cheap, but not that cheap.

expatinscotland Aaah, the joys of a Texan summer! Where it's 110 in the shade, even your eyeballs sweat every time you leave the house and you can literally bake cookies on your dashboard .

Yes, but the sheer joy of pulling on a tank top and shorts, sliding on flip flops and voila, you are dressed! Or just a dress and slide on sandals. No jackets, jumpers, layering, having to make sure the wee ones have a jacket, a cardi, a jumper.

Being able to plan a BBQ or pool party and it won't be freezing cold.

Buc-ee's! Especially the chicken salad.

JoffreyBaratheon "One night on our local news there was a story. A Scottish tourist (yes, really - I didn't make this up because of the OP's name!) got lost and did what you would do in the UK... naively went to knock on some random door to ask for directions. Seeing a stranger walking down their driveway, the person in the house opened fire. He was killed. I dunno how or if this was ever reported in the UK but it was all over the Denver news at the time. (Ad they weren't shocked by it, either). I don't think the householder was ever charged with murder or even manslaughter."

So in the US it's acceptable to kill someone for walking down your driveway? People weren't shocked by it? Do you know if the householder who shot him ever expressed any regret or did he/she think the victim deserved it?

Is this the case Joffrey?
www.nytimes.com/1994/01/08/us/homeowner-shoots-tourist-by-mistake-in-texas-police-say.html

In some states in the US it is considered acceptable to shoot people who trespass on your property. I'm sure lots of people are shocked by it, but lots aren't. A lot if Americans believe very strongly in their right to defend theirselves and their property, and a trespasser ( in some minds) is reasonably considered to be a potentially dangerous threat. (I'm not saying I agree with this, but really, some US states have laws that represent VERY different thinking to what we're used to in Europe)

Pipbin I'd remembered it as being Colorado but that is the right year and it might have been Texas. Really wouldn't surprise me.

The way it was reported on the TV news at the time was - well, hard to explain this but in the UK it would have been a huge, huge story. There it was just a casual mention and no shock or outrage expressed at the fact it wasn't even a 'crime'. I remember feeling very frightened (not that I was planning on knocking on strangers' doors but just because it highlighted how very different it was in the West to in Europe).

I should add, some of the foreign students not from Europe used to act in ways that were worrying as they seemed less alert to the dangers of walking round certain neighbourhoods alone, or at dark, or even in the day if you looked foreign! Once or twice we had creepy youths (possibly just frat boys but they may ahve been locals) walk behind us and when they clocked our accents, start talking really loudly in this exaggerated 'red-coat' kind of way, and it felt scary and dangerous - not banter or fun. I'd hate to think of a naive 17 year old in a neighbourhood like that, utterly naive to what he might be walking into. I doubt his US cyber-friend has any idea how clueless he will be, either.

It makes me never want to go to the US again. I'll be in Canada in May, I hope they're not as gun-happy there.

I've just remembered my sister got arrested for walking along a sidewalk in Houston

Ryan, Queen, Zero & Truly - but it's worth it for the replies :)

He really needs a cellphone there. I use one of my sister's and it's charged and in my bag, ready for me to turn on as soon as we land.

I walk on sidewalks in Houston. But in, like, The Village or maybe a little downtown if we've been at the theatre or the ballet. Or to see the next door neighbour. But as a rule? No.

Has anyone ever seen that Steve Martin film, 'LA Stories'? There's this scene where his friend rings with an emergency. Steve's characters reply, 'I'll be right over.'

He then jumps in his car and drives next door.

So in the US it's acceptable to kill someone for walking down your driveway?

No it's not legal or acceptable.

In some states you may shoot someone who has broken into your house. You may not shoot someone for walking down your driveway, unless it is night time and you have a reasonable belief that they plan to break in or commit arson.

It makes me never want to go to the US again

Because everywhere in the US is the same as Texas?

Those asking about shooting/right to defend yourself etc. have a read of this, regarding some US states having 'stand your ground' laws: “A person who is not engaged in an unlawful activity and who is attacked in any other place where he or she has a right to be has no duty to retreat and has the right to stand his or her ground and meet force with force, including deadly force if he or she reasonably believes it is necessary to do so to prevent death or great bodily harm to himself or herself or another, or to prevent the commission of a forcible felony.”

Last year, some friends of mine were in a coffee shop in a 'nice' FW neighbourhood early one evening, when, on the road outside, a driver got out of his car at traffic lights and opened fire on another driver who had just overtaken him. The second driver then tried to run over the shooter. This is real life here...not every day, but this type of thing happens regularly.