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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be amazed at how many people are still having 4 or more children?

587 replies

JackShit · 26/03/2015 11:57

Yikes! I'm going to get a new one ripped here, but this has been bugging me of late.

Our planet isn't in a particularly marvelous state. Overpopulation is a very real problem. We are responsible for the legacy we leave our children and surely part of loving them is to be concerned for their future quality of life on this planet.

I know there are a lot of people with larger families on MN and I need to understand why, in full knowledge of the facts, people continue to have so many children? Just read a thread on facebook where a woman was proudly stating she has 11! 11 ffs!

I don't go for the argument about some having only one or two so it cancels out and I also don't believe in replacing our ageing population problem with an even bigger one.

So what am I missing here? Do people just not really give a shit? Does biology take over?

I have 1 btw.

OP posts:
ArcheryAnnie · 26/03/2015 21:05

And some parents have different standards as to what is acceptable parenting, sosix.

sosix · 26/03/2015 21:05

Mwaaah. A status symbol. I prefer cars and handbags.

madreloco · 26/03/2015 21:06

All this aside, I'm pregnant with my 2nd and I can't contemplate how you can give equal and enough attention to 3 or more children. I think THAT'S more selfish than the above

Just because you aren't able to cope with 3 or more children, don't have a pop at those of us who do it with ease!

CheerfulYank · 26/03/2015 21:06

ThisIs my aunt has six and is a brilliant mother. I think there is probably a number in which you just can't pay attention, but three isn't it. Not for a lot of people, anyway.

I'm pregnant with my third and could obviously pay more attention to just one...but I think there's such a thing as too much attention with some children, frankly.

sosix · 26/03/2015 21:06

And some parents have different standards as to what is acceptable parenting, sosix.

So true, im sure there are some shocking parents with one or two. Standards and all.

sosix · 26/03/2015 21:07

I'm pregnant with my third and could obviously pay more attention to just one...but I think there's such a thing as too much attention with some children, frankly.

^^^
This

womaninthewildsofwales · 26/03/2015 21:07

I have 4 dc's and a dss. I want to go for no.6, dh is contemplating. I love having a busy chaotic family. dh works his butt off to support us- we can afford to have a large family and have ample space, we are a farming family and our ds's will likely go on to produce the food for the next generation, if we had one child then the farm would have a lower output... Therefore I can tongue in cheek say that us having lots of kids ensures that our land can produce lots of good quality British food.

HerRoyalNotness · 26/03/2015 21:08

Large families are a selfish choice and put a huge demand on the NHS and schools IMO.

I'd say it's rather bad town planning that put the huge demand on those services wouldn't you? We live in a town in the US which is one of the fastest growing town in the nation. I'm astounded when I have to go to different parts of it, at how big it is and how many houses are still being built. (unfortunately I can't find population growth stats, as there is an old City proper, and then a new Greater Area of)

There were 67k students catered for in 2013/2014, up 12k students in 7yrs and growing. The schools all have portacabins in the playing fields to cope. This is bad town planning, pure and simple. In 2015 year there are 70k + students in 60 schools.

liger · 26/03/2015 21:10

Has anyone posted this yet? More actual real statistics. Please watch :

m.youtube.com/watch?v=ezVk1ahRF78

MrsDeVere · 26/03/2015 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

myredcardigan · 26/03/2015 21:12

I did think carefully before having any. We actually waited until late 30s to even start despite meeting at university because I wanted to be absolutely sure that we were could provide for them financially without help. So we may not have given much thought to long term global effects but I most certainly did give consideration to how my children would affect the UK as a whole.

Feckeggblue · 26/03/2015 21:19

It's pretty normal to wait until you can afford children. It's not to not have them for environmental reasons

Mrsfrumble · 26/03/2015 21:20

I know I'm totally missing the point, but this thread is filling me with envy. I'd love 3 or 4 but we've decided to stop at 2 for various reasons.

I must admit that environmental concern is not one of them. We can't even claim less environmental impact as a side effect of only having 2; the 4 of us fly back and forth between the USA and the UK twice a year, so our carbon footprint is horrific. Way worse than most of the larger families on here I should think.

workadurka · 26/03/2015 21:21

MrsDeVere Did you read the rest of my post? Maybe give it a go when you're ready.

Lots of people here have said it was never a consideration that crossed their mind. I'm saying we did consider it and the environment has impacted on the way we live our life, not only in terms of having fewer children either.

MrsDeVere · 26/03/2015 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AMummysWorkIsNeverDone · 26/03/2015 21:27

An interesting read and something I've wondered myself. I understand why people want children, maternal instinct, I have 2 myself (for each other's company and for when they are on their own), but wondered why some go on and have so many. I do believe it's important to balance our own needs with the planet's.

Found it weird how so many people were rude and attacked the OP. I felt a certain amount of defensiveness, wondered if these people knew they'd maybe had lots of children for their own egos and therefore got angry at being asked. Many people had interesting reasons for deciding which made sense to me and helped me understand. I do admire people who have 4 or more and wonder how they manage, not sure I could so therefore wouldn't.

JillyR2015 · 26/03/2015 21:28

It's about love... and I earn quite a lot and I breed higher rate tax payers....

Also humans are on this planet only for a blink of an eye in historical terms and we will soon be gone so why does it matter if we are here for 3 seconds or 2 anyway?

Stearinlys · 26/03/2015 21:28

pukkapip, it was joke. I pitied that woman. Not only did her children need braces, they all had glasses on too. POOR woman.

idiuntno57 · 26/03/2015 21:29

wondered if these people knew they'd maybe had lots of children for their own egos and therefore got angry at being asked.

that feels like big family bashing. But maybe I and other 4+ers just have a gigantic ego and can't bear it when anyone has a go.

Vickisuli · 26/03/2015 21:31

Considering how amazingly unaware/uninterested most people seem to be in the state of the planet it doesn't surprise me in the least that people don't consider the environmental impact of having lots of kids. What amazes me is that people who already have 3 kids think they have time/money/space etc for more. I would have more if I could afford it but that would only be if I didn't have to work, and could just play with them all day. Would raising 6 environmentally aware children be better than 2 who are oblivious to the environment though?

Going back to my original point, most people are much more inclined to give money to animal charities or cancer charities than to Greenpeace, despite the fact that if we kill off the world there will be no point having a cure for cancer or having saved the life of a stray dog... weird priorities people have. I have tested this theory by attempting to raise sponsor money for Greenpeace, no bugger bothered to sponsor me, though when i did it for cancer charity loads did.

MidniteScribbler · 26/03/2015 21:35

I don't really care how many people have, except when they then use it as an excuse: 'I need the excursions subsidised, I have six children', 'I can't afford to buy school supplies, I have five kids'. Sure, there are some people who have a change in circumstances after having children, but if the money was never there in the first place, then you need to consider that before having a large family. I'm sick of hearing it used as justification why you need more school subsidies.

AMummysWorkIsNeverDone · 26/03/2015 21:49

Not saying all have families that big for their egos, but damn sure some do, especially when they say I had that many "because I can", just saying Smile

sosix · 26/03/2015 21:52

I have a massive egoHmm

AMummysWorkIsNeverDone · 26/03/2015 21:53

I also found it very interesting how environmentally aware so many people are in their lifestyles (inc big families), it's easy with children to take the easy options. I used to be more environmentally aware and have got lazy in some ways. This has inspired me to rethink things and reduce my carbon footprint.

123upthere · 26/03/2015 21:54

Depends if the larger family is offsetting its environmental impact by for example, recycling more/buying less tat/driving less

There are 1 child families I know with rooms stashed full of plastic tat which let's face it will be dumped in landfill in a year or so

So...