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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

teen fucking dramas!!

829 replies

Mintyy · 25/03/2015 20:41

I mean really and truly, aibu?

If you've never trod on eggshells before, you certainly will when you become owner of a teen.

That is all.

OP posts:
Cocolepew · 01/04/2015 10:08

Does anyones DD take supplements for PMT? I have some in the house but have to actually give them to DD or she forgets.
DD1 has been taking St Johns Wort for a couple of years, it helped massively with her anxiety.
I was explaining to DH the other day how utterly debilitating PMT can be. I know there are women who don't even get how awful ut is, if they haven't suffered themselves.
Unfortunately DD seems to be like me in that a good 2 weeks of the month are given over to it.

Cocolepew · 01/04/2015 10:09

OMG! DD1 is in bed, I can hear her attempting to blow her nose. DD with the cold is the worse thing ever. Shes a horrible patient.

Songofsixpence · 01/04/2015 10:09

The VP said to me yesterday that FB was the biggest cause of trouble, especially amongst girls

Totally agree. Even in the hands of fully grown adults who should know better

When we were dealing with our situation, the head asked the other mother to remove her FB comments as a) her behaviour on there towards a 13 year old wasn't any better than what my daughter was being accused of and b) I was quite within my rights to report her to the police.

The whole thing was quite mad.

My daughter was being accused of bullying, there's no way I'm going to allow her to behave like that so I wanted to work with school/other mum/other girl to stop it. Turns out the other mum just wanted to slate us all on FB.

It turned out to be 6 of one and half a dozen of the other, but she's never apologised, the posts are still on FB, the mother still tells everyone what "scum" my DD is, even after we proved her DD had lied she won't admit her DD was in any way in the wrong.

DD is allowed FB, but her log in is via my email, she can't change passwords without me knowing, and I check it regularly. Same for Instagram and Snapchat.

Ledkr · 01/04/2015 10:11

Dd will be having thrifty dresses when the time comes to.
If she'd only put on some weight I have a plethora of dresses worn once!!
A friend of mines dd had spray tans, fake nails and eyelashes too.
Mine will have st tropez, some nail varnish and superdrug fals lashes I'm afraid.

Mrsjayy · 01/04/2015 10:14

She took b6 but she is on the pill now her periods were awful poor kid was really ill heavy bleeding and felt faint.

Dd is into the vintage look her dress is very 1940s night club but all her other dresses are halterneck with petticoats they suit her

Ledkr · 01/04/2015 10:15

cocol dd has been ok so far but I used to get two week pmt. I found vit b6 works best. 100mg.

StayingSamVimesGirl · 01/04/2015 10:21

Ledkr - you might be able to find a local dressmaker who can take in/make over one of those dresses for your dd.

We live in Scotland, so even the boys have more sartorial choices than just lounge suit vs dinner suit. Apparently last year a lot wore kilts, and it's likely to be the same this year - it is going to look amazing at school, when they wait for the buses - all those beautiful dresses and wonderful kilts. Ds3 is wearing a suit (he did wear a kilt for his end of primary formal, and looked wonderful, but won't be persuaded to hire one for this prom Sad).

Pyjamasandwine · 01/04/2015 10:27

ledkr and they all look bloody good at thet age anyway. Actually it's always worth checking out second hand shops for prom dresses too.

who mentioned the chalet school fellow chaletians

I would love to be Joey my lamb knocking out countless children to then post them off to the boarding school next door. I want an Anna and a Rosli!

I can see my dds settling into chalet school life ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Joan baker and Betty Wynne Davies!

Songofsixpence · 01/04/2015 10:28

What's good for PMT? The bleeding is OK, but she's so emotional and she finds it quite painful. Last month she ended up in tears in McDonalds because the milkshake machine had broken. She was really embarrassed by the whole thing and she says she has no idea why she cried, it came from nowhere.

She's so tearful, and the mood swings are just awful.

I spoke to the chemist a little while ago - DD can't swallow tablets, so I wanted something in liquid/chewable form but they weren't very helpful.

Painkillers are a bit of a problem too, she takes the chewable Calpol, but I don't think they quite cut the mustard. We've tried the dissolvable stuff in black currant squash, but that makes her gag too. She's got a bit of a 'thing' about swallowing medication

Cocolepew · 01/04/2015 10:40

I have Holland And Barratts Ultra Woman tablets and a vit b complex . Magnesium is very good for heavy periods.

Song, the b vitamins are very small, I have Tesco own make she might manage them. B complex is very important for hormones.

Dd1 had a problem with swallowing but she is, fine now.

Cocolepew · 01/04/2015 10:46

here are some liquid suplemnts from Boits. I would get a multi vit and the Evening Primrose Oil.

Cocolepew · 01/04/2015 10:48

Oh sorry link didnt work Blush type liquid supplements in Blush

Cocolepew · 01/04/2015 10:50

Holland And Barratt do a liquid B complex as well Smile

Pyjamasandwine · 01/04/2015 10:53

Holland and Barrett good idea until they discover mummies answer to stress. Wine and Cake

Grin
Ledkr · 01/04/2015 10:53

I'm sure some of the girls wil be in Westwood or Versace dresses in dds school. We are in a bit of an affluent area (I slipped in years ago)

Cocolepew · 01/04/2015 11:03

Dds prom looked My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, very pouffy dresses and very orange girls Grin

You're right pyjamas Grin , Im constantly trying to get the dds to eat better while I mainline Diary Milk and beer Blush

Momagain1 · 01/04/2015 11:04

swazza!

Next time she is going to be idiot enough to set off in the rain instead of walking over to the obviously available ride home, leave her to it!

Pyjamasandwine · 01/04/2015 11:04

ledkr honestly don't worry it's not the dress it's the girl in it.

Let's face it Cheryl cole would look good in a sack.

Pyjamasandwine · 01/04/2015 11:10

coco my dd have me the stare last night and kindly pointed out that I was 'drinking again' and 'it's oniy Tuesday'

After a day sober prom dress shopping she should be grateful I wasn't sniffing cocaine Grin

Oh yes and on the way back to the car I said 'must just pop to the loo'

Her reply, 'why'

I mean why?? Hmm

Songofsixpence · 01/04/2015 11:12

Thanks! I've just ordered her some oil of evening primrose.

Ledkr have a look in TK Maxx, I got a gorgeous Stella McCartney dress in there for a formal thing I had to go to with DH. It was about £80

Bogeyface · 01/04/2015 11:32

Song your Drama Llama mother sounds like one I encountered.

Her precious DD was always being bullied, by the kids and the staff Hmm For some reason, although the girl hated DD and was vile to her, her mother seemed to seek me out and never accused DD....very odd. Anyway, she would tell me about all of this (last year of primary school) and how she was looking forward to when they moved up to high school as hopefully it would all stop. What I didnt say was "Well if you DD wasnt a vile, misbehaving rude and cheeky bully then perhaps the other kids would play with her and the staff would have to keep dragging you in about her behaviour"!

So they move up to high school and guess what? Bully DD's behaviour gets worst as she falls in with other little madams and mother takes her out of the school after her third suspension because she is being victimized. The real victims breathe a sigh of relief. Second school....taken out of, same problem. Third school...permanently excluded and she came back to our school before dropping out completely at 15.

The sad thing is that she is now 18 with no job, no money and no prospects. If her mother hadnt made excuse after excuse for her and made her knuckle down then things would be very different. As it is, I suspect the next thing will be a baby.

DD used to feel really low when this girl had been having a go at her and I said to her that one day DD would be doing really well and having a happy life and this girl wouldnt because people like that are not happy inside, and that DD would achieve far more. I forgot I had said it until DD reminded. She had seen this girl looking a state and hanging around in town, she had seemed really please to see DD (sad really :( ) and told DD what she was up to (or not) and DD said "You were right mum" :)

Cocolepew · 01/04/2015 11:38

Grin @ "why? ".

Do you think the parents were bullies too and think the behaviour is something to aspire too?
I know some parents are blinded by their children and can't possibly see that what they are doing is wrong.

One of the girls who joined in the class picking on dd the other day apologised the next day. She had told her mum what had happened and her mum was really cross with her.

Songofsixpence · 01/04/2015 12:00

I think in our case, the mother just likes drama. Her FB page is open and when I was told about the posts regarding my daughter I had a look. It's full of ranty posts about "messing with my family" type stuff. I was scum, DD was scum, we didn't care about our DD's behaviour, the school was shit, etc, etc, etc. she seems to air her dirty laundry on a half hourly basis with her hundreds of FB friends backing her up 'hun x'

School didn't know anything about it, I didn't know anything about it.

I actually felt quite mean about the way I dealt with it. I don't think DD is like that, she is generally nice and kind and none of her other friends parents have a bad word to say about her, but I didn't want to be that mother and I will never allow my daughter to be a bully, so came down really hard on her, when, as it turns out, the other girl had lied.

It all started because during an argument, DD had called the other girl a 'rat', however, we then discovered this was in retaliation to being called a cunt (a teacher had witnessed the argument). It was all very petty and teenage and silly, 6 of one and half a dozen of the other.

I suppose the other mother won't accept her daughter's part in it because then she'd had to admit she was wrong, and that her DD isn't the angel she thought she was. The other girl thinks it's great, she got away with lying.

Bogeyface · 01/04/2015 12:07

Ours is just blind to the idea that her precious DD could be anything other than perfect, its always the other kids fault, the teachers fault, the other parents fault......

She is actually a nice woman, but completely deluded. OK so one school having a bullying culture is possible, it does happen, but 4? Shame that her backing up her DDs lies and behaviour has led to her DD doing nothing with her life :(

Songofsixpence · 01/04/2015 12:35

Sometimes I think it can be a bit of a fine line between having their back and supporting them when they need us, and when it gets all he said/she said/Vicki Pollard, working out what the heck has actually happened.

With DD, she is generally nice, we live in an area where I'd find out pretty sharpish if she was getting up to stuff she shouldn't be. I don't think she's a bully, I don't want to think she's a bully, but once she closes the front door behind her she's in her world and I'm not blind to the idea that she's no angel.