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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate having hordes of people asking me for money?

74 replies

CruCru · 25/03/2015 12:10

Whenever I go into my local town centre, there seem to be loads of people who want me to give them money.

Some of it is up selling in shops (I know they have to try to do this but I still hate it), some are chuggers (done to death but there are at least ten at a time, spread out so you can't avoid them), women selling photo shoots for £40 and beggars approaching people for money (the last makes me sound really harsh but they are always quite well dressed and have a story about why they need this money - need a train ticket home etc- but are always there).

Every time I go into town, it's like running a gauntlet. For clothes I buy online so I don't have to browse in person but some things I need to buy in person.

I do buy the Big Issue, it's always the same guy and I think that is really worthwhile.

OP posts:

PoisonPension · 25/03/2015 12:11

It is horrible. Yanbu.

EatShitDerek · 25/03/2015 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KensingtonRose · 25/03/2015 12:14

YANBU. I find some of the can be quite intimidating, especially the chuggers that jog along side you as you walk away making excuses... and the ones who need the train ticket home or money for a B&B, I'm never sure if they're going to turn nasty.

The80sweregreat · 25/03/2015 12:17

I hate the ones that just come up to you. I fell for it once ( didn't give much) but I saw him again a few weeks later, same car park hassling people as they were busy at their cars with kids, buggies , shopping. great tatic, but I wasn't fooled twice.. at least the charity ones are wearing something to say they are working for someone, even if they do lay the guilt on about how people need cash etc. I hate the high street, but sometimes it has to be done. years ago I always was a sucker for customer surveys ' will be 5 minutes' they would plead and half hour later I'm still there freezing cold answering questions about cleaning stuff that I didn't even buy.. not seen them around in years so maybe its all done on line these days!

chinstrappenguin · 25/03/2015 12:18

I hate the ones at supermarkets by the entrance/exit. I have to watch my spending right now but they still make me feel guilty

TheJiminyConjecture · 25/03/2015 12:19

Yanbu I hate it too. The chuggers are the worst. I overheard part of the chugger training which was "Target the women with the strollers" Which irritated me anyway but explained why my best fuck off face wasn't putting them off! Bastards

Original poster

CruCru · 25/03/2015 12:23

Ah sorry, just seen there's quite a similar thread on here. Must be a common problem!

OP posts:

happybubblebrain · 25/03/2015 12:23

I gave a homeless person 5 the other day, I felt happy about it. I don't often give money, maybe once every couple of months. I never feel guilty when I don't because I know I'm not mean.

MehsMum · 25/03/2015 12:29

Derek! You're back!
tell them I'm 16.
That would no longer work for me...

As for the OP, I hate being hassled for money (I don't count a quick shake of a charity tin as hassle, btw). I know I'm not mean, but it makes me feel like a horrible evil selfish tightwad, every single time.

I'm more likely to give money to a non-hassling Big Issue seller than one who waves it under my nose repeatedly.

chickenfuckingpox · 25/03/2015 13:14

i hate the starving children people can you spare a minute to talk about starving children do you CARE about starving children? it only costs £2 a day just £2 a day to stop a child from STARVING so that's £64 a month? what happened to the £2 a month campaign?

fredfredgeorgejnr · 25/03/2015 13:44

Complain about the chuggers - to the council, to any independent body and the charity themselves. If they do the slightest thing wrong (engaging children and more than 1 step walking with you are the commonest) complain more vociferously. It won't actually achieve much in the single complaint, but every time you increase the cost of collecting in the street you lessen the chance. It also prevents the self regulation bodies from saying "but we don't get any complaints" when new regulation is suggested.

Upselling in shops, again if they do it, say No, and walk out abandoning the shopping whenever you can (ie you have the time to get it somewhere else!)

StopTheFog · 25/03/2015 13:47

Chuggers are the pits. Look folks, I'm walking fast through the city centre as I'm on my lunch break. And don't do that shit about "Do you care about children dying of cancer?" It just turns me off your charity. They hunt in packs so I can get caught three times in a half hour foray across town.

TheChandler · 25/03/2015 13:51

YANBU. Much as I hate them, I also feel really uncomfortable about salespeople going around trying to sell you stuff, e.g. when you are at work or paying for a service. I use local beauty salons and hairdressers, and virtually every time I am there, my treatment is interrupted by some man (it is always a man) coming in and trying to sell security systems, window cleaning, cleaning stuff, goodness knows what else. They launch into a lengthy spiel to their captive audience and getting rid of them is lengthy and tedious.

Mousefinkle · 25/03/2015 13:54

Upselling in restaurants/coffee shops pisses me off. I know they're trained to do it and I'm pretty clued up to it but occasionally I will slip up and say yes to the large drink offer when actually I never want a large one... Then not only did I pay more I'm lumbered with a drink I can't finish.

Hate the shit they try to flog you at the checkouts in stores. Holland&barrett are one of the worst for this- "are you interested in buying our magazine." "No." "are you sure, it's only £2." .

Definitely can't stand chuggers or charity people in supermarkets or people trying to flog shit in supermarkets or bag packers. I'm a horrible person, this is why I mostly shop online .

Satsumafairy · 25/03/2015 14:11

Yanbu. I used to feel bad for saying no to chuggers but recently one was incredibly rude to me when I did stop to talk to him. He told me some of the charities I already support were "pathetic"! I complained and vowed I'd never feel bad about saying no and just walking past chuggers again. I think it's intrusive and the guilt trip they try on everyone is completely out of order.

zukiecat · 25/03/2015 14:26

Can only comment about the up selling in shops, I work in our local shop and we absolutely have to ask customers if they would like to buy whatever product it is that week. We can be disciplined if we don't do it.

It's never bothered me to be asked, even before I started working in this shop, I just say No thank you or Yes please depending on what it is.

I do agree though, about the chuggers that don't take No for an answer.

TheJiminyConjecture · 25/03/2015 15:39

The difference between chuggers and up selling in shops, is that if I say no thank you to stamps or chocolate etc the person on the till doesn't ask me why I don't care about kids/animals/cancer whilst sporting their best daily mail sad face.

SurlyCue · 25/03/2015 15:46

Yes chuggers are awful.

I was in town last week with bf and there were 4 chuggers all standing together. They saw us approach and i could see each of them getting ready to pounce, it was a narrow walkway so no way to get round them so i said to bf that we should cross over to avoid them as i steered him across the road. He said "they just saw us doing that" well im Glad, maybe they'll report back to their head office that people are crossing the roads to avoid them and deploy better tactics to get people's money.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 25/03/2015 16:08

SurlyCue If you had to cross the road they broke their rules, they cannot obstruct the footway.

You have to actually complain to have any chance of complaint - www.frsb.org.uk/complaints/make-a-complaint/online-complaints-form/ and your local council.

xiaozhu · 25/03/2015 16:14

Chuggers are awful. And NEVER give money to beggars - a large proportion of rough sleeping in the UK is directly caused by substance addiction. You are not helping.

The one that pisses me off is the WH Smith 'would you like to buy a super sized bar of Galaxy chocolate with your purchase' at the till. Erm, no, I just want the stamps.

SurlyCue · 25/03/2015 16:14

Oh i didnt realise that. Yes they were huddle together then as they saw us approached stepped out from the wall and spread, not in a straight line across but in a way that meant we would have had to weave through between them in single file and probably have still needed to say excuse me for space. It was obvious what they were doing. Have no idea what charity it was though, red jackets but that is all i remember.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 25/03/2015 16:26

SurlyCue The council should know which organisation was out that day.

VeryAgedParent · 25/03/2015 16:40

Do complain about Chuggers!!!

My daily walk from my workplace to the station (Central London) is awash with them, due to complaints made in London they are not supposed to approach you if you make it clear their attention is unwarranted.
Mind you it got to a silly saturation level a year or so back and you were getting accosted as you were waiting at the crossing to cross, going into shops and at one time they had positioned themselves inside Sainsburys where you pick the baskets up from!
If enough complaints are made about Chuggers hopefully they will slowly disappear.
Upselling in shops I ignore, beggars the same. Genuine homeless get left cups of coffee and food by their pitches, never money.

SurlyCue · 25/03/2015 16:46

Thats good to know fred, i'm going to get in touch.

PoisonPension · 25/03/2015 16:48

Can you legally take pictures of the chugger breaking rules? I hate when they say you have no evidence and I wouldn't want to get into trouble if photo taking is illegal.

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