You coloured girls

[Leafitout]

Aibu that I'm really not looking forward to this tradesman coming to my house tomorrow. He started harping on about my eyebrows that they were nice because his wife has none. He then went on to say how her hair is falling out and that she is hairy elsewhere, that he doesn't mind if she wears a wig. " you know, like you coloured girls do". " Blacks and Asians they all do it". He has to do ordered work tomorrow I'm dreading having to listen to him

YANBU! That is so racist. You should report him to his employer/boss at the very least. I would not want anyone like that in my house.

What would you have preferred him to say? You girls of colour, you black girls, you non-white girls?

I can see where you are coming from, though.

I did say to him you shouldn't use that word and he dismissed me and said the blacks and Asians thing.

Ugh, YANBU.

I'd just go out. I've had workmen at my house for 2 days painting the outside (not my choice, rented) so they're always at the windows. Consequently I've spent about 20 minutes in the house.

And those are nice, non racist workmen!

Why do you have to have him in your house? Is there anyway you can get someone else to do the work?

Thefeckless I would have preferred him to not use that word as it made me feel uncomfortable in my own home. I don't think he even thought it was wrong.

What word? You mean 'coloured'? You didn't answer my question, though!

Yuck. I would arrange to be out when he's there. Apart from the 'you coloured girls' thing, which i would be very unhappy about, I would be uncomfortable at having to hear about his wife's hairiness or lack of it as well. He sounds awful.

I think this is his clumsy way of saying, "am awight wiv you coloured folk, innit?

Just give him the death stare! When he arrives, show him where he's meant to be working, no smiles or unecessary anecdotes, hopefully he'll get the message.

Don't let him in your house and send an email to his employer.

To be honest fecklessfairy none of that conversation was appropriate there is no better to way for him to rephrase it. He should have shut the hell up and kept his chat to 'nice to have a bit of sunshine for a change'.

Good grief, that's terrible. Can you not fire him, or call his boss and ask for someone else to come (and explain why)?

He sounds a right prat - telling you about his wife's appearance and assuming that black and Asian women wear wigs - which I'd not expect someone coming to sort out the wiring or the plumbing or whatever to talk to me about because it's totally inappropriate.

if poss would go out, if not try give off 'non-chatting' vibes.

I did try to hurry him up out of the door but unfortunately he had to come back into the kitchen to drop more things off. He is a bit of a chatterbox asking me if I was young free and single! It's too late to change him now as it's been booked for a month. Normally we have known tradesman but this is a new contractor

Talking about OPs face and bits of it he likes or doesn't = no
Comparing OP to his wife = no
Telling that his wife has no eyebrows but is "hairy elsewhere" WTF = no
Further personal info about his wife = no
Making bizarre statements about what non white women "do" in terms of wig-wearing = no

It's just a whole world of no! The entire thing was entirely inappropriate and I'm guessing it was also a bit of a monologue, can't imagine OP was all lie "oh tell me more about your wife's eyebrows, where does she get hair then" and "oh yes those coloured girls and their wigs".

If he makes you feel uncomfortable OP can you get someone else to do the job?
Otherwise just make yourself scarce & do the bare minimum in terms of basic courtesy. If he starts off again with his comments about various types of women and what they get up to cut him off "oh right so how long will the boiler take to fix then" and leave him to it.

Perhaps he doesn't have a wife, and this is his chat up line

His poor wife!! And poor you having to listen to such a fuckwit. What an odd conversation to start up when you are a tradesman in someone's house!

You only have to put up with him for one day, his wife as to live with him.

Is there anyway to get another workman sent if more work needs doing? Call the powers that be and beg ask. However, I doubt he sees himself as offensive or racist.

Saying to a woman when you are going to be alone with her in a house a lot "so are you young free and single" = NO NO and thrice NO!

You don't need to humour him.

That really is not on at all and feckless - 'what would you have preferred him to say' - I would personally prefer NOT to discuss my body hair with a stranger and coloured is undoubtedly offensive.

Not everyone knows the term coloured is outdated.

You don't need to humour or speak to anyone who is being racially abusive to you in your own home.

If it's a council place cancel the work
and complain.

That doesn't mean she can't feel uncomfortable about it. It was used to her face which is just rude - I fully appreciate some elderly people in particular tend to use it but not in the manner the OP describes!

You just wouldn't have that conversation, surely?

I sincerely hope this thread won't turn into the use of the word being the ops issue.

Next time he starts say 'I don't want to hear about it, thank you' and then walk off, even if you're in the middle of a conversation with him. Give it a couple of minutes then go back and finish whatever you had to talk to him about over the job. If he says anything just say 'Let's keep it professional, shall we?'

Whatever you do, don't get drawn into a discussion about being offended. You'll get the whole 'oversensitive, political correctness gone mad, meant well, can't say anything these days' conversation in which he turns into the huffy victim and you turn into the nasty unreasonable termagant from hell.