You coloured girls

[Leafitout]

Aibu that I'm really not looking forward to this tradesman coming to my house tomorrow. He started harping on about my eyebrows that they were nice because his wife has none. He then went on to say how her hair is falling out and that she is hairy elsewhere, that he doesn't mind if she wears a wig. " you know, like you coloured girls do". " Blacks and Asians they all do it". He has to do ordered work tomorrow I'm dreading having to listen to him

I was mortified on his wife's behalf. At no point did I comment about her he started the conversation off about my eyebrows and that were they mine. I said yes thought it was a bit odd that a man would ask that. And then without pausing for breath he went on and on about his wife being hairy apart from her head hair. It was a tumbleweed moment.

Ask his company to send someone else. And email them about his behaviour.

I wouldn't want someone like that in my home.

Sometimes it seems like the last 40 years didn't happen.

Personally I hate the word "coloured" it's offensive and coming from a tradesman he should know better regardless that he was in his fifties. Some would think he's old school in his thought process. He made me feel uncomfortable and with the young free and single comment.

He sounds a bit creepy, talking about his wife's body hair and your single status. I think that's probably what put you on edge. The coloured girl thing was part of him trying to get one over on you as a woman. It all came together in a package to belittle you in your own home. I'd phone the company and request someone else to come into your home.

racism aside, i wouldn't have him in my house and neither should you.

He sounds more sexist than racist. It just not an acceptable word to some people but not everyone is up to date with the current correct lingo.

He is both a sexist and a racist.
Also if you cannot be bothered to keep a lid on your sexism/racism stick to talking about the weather and don't work in a customer facing role. Both these easy options were available to the plumber

What would you have preferred him to say? You girls of colour, you black girls, you non-white girls?

How about not commenting on her physical appearance or that of his wife at all? Workmen who come to my house manage to do this, at least when I'm in earshot.

I corrected a group of older people >60 for saying coloured last week. They didn't know it was out of date. Even so, he sounds like he is inappropriate on lots of levels.

Oh I missed the bit that it was "coloured girls like you".

Totally out of line the entire bloody thing. Sexist and racist = yes and also not caring enough to bother knocking it off when talking to a non-white, female customer FGS.

I'm not surprised you were uncomfortable he was totally out of order.

Ugh! Would anyone strike up a conversation with a client by saying
"You white men..." And expect to be asked back? No.

Oh the unexamined privilege and racism on MN is always such a treat. yanbu, OP.

Definitely complain to the company he's working for. If the sexist and racist dickheads who do this kind of thing face consequences from their bosses or their customers for it, they'll learn not to do it. Or, if they don't learn, at least they won't have jobs where they're alone in houses with single women.

Complain to the company. If that gets you nowhere, cancel the service (unless it's an absolute emergency) and write bad reviews of them online (do you have a site like Angie's list here in the US, where people go for reviews of companies who do work on your home?). There are probably other companies that would gladly do whatever work it is you need done, without the creepy racist and sexist crap.

He sounds really creepy and I wouldn't like him in my house.
I wonder if his wife knows how he is discussing very personal stuff about her.

Report him Op. Wouldn't want him in my house.

It's too late to have him removed from the work. It has been booked for a month. His poor wife I doubt that she knows how he speaks about her

Might still be worth complaining to the company that he works for, though.

What? He makes personal comments, shares unwanted personal details about his wife's body and displays racism.

I'd be getting some sort of fierce backup if you really have to have him in your house.

Thing is I hope he doesn't latch onto the fact that I'm a single mum as there is zero to indicate a man living here because there isn't.

I should think he already has. Sexist creeps like him find that out straight away. Get someone round to be with you, just in case.

I wouldn't feel safe with him in the house tbh. He probably fancies you and thinks that he is being 'cool' . He is an idiot.

OMG he sounds CREEPY as well as disgustingly racist and sexist.

Try to be out or at least not alone when he is around.

Borrow the largest man you can, even if just for a few mins. Just having another man in the house often calms the situation. In fact, have a bit of a coffee morning, invite everyone, you could discuss the hairiness of workmans arses.
He sounds like the sort of bloke who pees on his fence posts to mark his territory.