Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You coloured girls

76 replies

Leafitout · 24/03/2015 17:18

Aibu that I'm really not looking forward to this tradesman coming to my house tomorrow. He started harping on about my eyebrows that they were nice because his wife has none. He then went on to say how her hair is falling out and that she is hairy elsewhere, that he doesn't mind if she wears a wig. " you know, like you coloured girls do". " Blacks and Asians they all do it". He has to do ordered work tomorrow I'm dreading having to listen to him

OP posts:
Original poster
Leafitout · 24/03/2015 20:08

Think I may ask my neighbour to pop in as goodness knows what sort of crap he will come out with it's an allday Job aswell. Will report him to the housing after he's gone. Just hope that he is quiet tomorrow

OP posts:
Splinters · 24/03/2015 20:11

He didn't even need to use the word 'coloured' to be totally racist in lumping together 'Blacks and Asians', like anyone who isn't white is just part of one big amorphous wig-wearing blob. And he sounds creepy as well as racist.

PopTarts · 24/03/2015 20:14

What an ignorant nob.

Grin
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 24/03/2015 20:15

He's just a bit of a knobhead. The world Is full of them unfortunately

PopTarts · 24/03/2015 20:16

[swishes long waist length real hair]

I seriously am more offended that he thinks all Asian women wear wigs! Hmm

stubbornstains · 24/03/2015 20:52

Hmmm....well, if you're going to allow him in tomorrow (and I guess you are- perhaps it's worth it just to get this maintenance job done?) then you are going to have to arm yourself with a stock of shit-hot, weapons grade put downs. Let's have a think...

"You coloured girls all wear wigs"- "Funny, I thought ageing men would be the experts on hair loss, what with the way you're all going bald" (most effective if he is).

"Are you young, free and single?" "It's funny how often ageing white men seem obsessed with asking that kind of thing- do you think it's the male menopause kicking in?" (tinkly little laugh).

Don't forget the killer death stares....followed by a saccharine- sweet smile Smile < like that.

Also, for the inevitable "Can't you take a joke love?" the comeback is: "Oh, was that a joke? Excuse me if I was confused, you see normally.........jokes are funny".

Anybody else?

stubbornstains · 24/03/2015 20:57

Oh, and re: the wife, how about this: "You don't seem to like your wife very much, do you? I wonder what she's saying about you behind your back?" (pointed look).

stubbornstains · 24/03/2015 21:02

Oh, and if he's being really offensive, you could always make him a nice cup of tea. With some, er, "personal" additions......Grin

FreudiansSlipper · 24/03/2015 21:16

even if he was not using outdated terms he was extremely inappropriate

which he is well aware of. he would not have spoken about her being hairy elsewhere to a man he was testing you

I would report him

try not make conversation with him unless it is strictly about work, so what if you come across rude (yes it is hard to do as we woman always have to be nice and friendly) his inappropriate talk will just get worse

JellyJar · 24/03/2015 21:22

Am not clear if you've booked him directly (ie you own your home) or if your landlord has organised it. Even if it's the latter scenario, you don't have to let him into your home. He made personal and racist remarks. I wouldn't want him across my doorstep

Stearinlys · 24/03/2015 21:24

eeeoooow. creepy. comparing your level of hairiness or baldness to varying parts of his wife that is severely creepy and that's before you take in to account the outdate terminology. I'd be nervous about being in the house alone with some man who made it clear he'd thought about where you were hairy. shudder.

trashcanjunkie · 24/03/2015 22:47

Honestly I'd ring the housing first thing and tell them he made sexist and racist and inappropriate remarks. I wouldn't under any circumstances be alone in the house with him. He sounds to me like he was testing the water for what he could get away with, and tomorrow he will up his game. Keep yourself safe from further letchy talk, and other horror.

Pangurban · 25/03/2015 01:57

It sounds wrong on quite a few levels. At the very least, an odd conversation to be having with a stranger. 'Like you coloured girls do'. Telling you about his wife's hairy bits. Wearing wigs like 'Blacks and Asians, they', when you're standing in front of him. If it way easier for you to get this job done now, make sure you have that neighbour or somebody else around. This guy has some sort of a bee in his bonnet (tempted to say barnet). It's more than gaffes.

If you're going to have this guy in your home all day, I wouldn't want to be on my own with him.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 25/03/2015 05:00

He sounds horrid OP!

We had a similar workman in our rental property, with the most vilest sexist /racist/fascist statements. After replied saying how racist /sexist he was being,in really cool tones, he then proved himself to have a rhinocerous hide.

He then switched tack, started asking me about my live in boyfriend who was out... Whether I was 'getting enough' , as he 'wouldn't say no..' . Angry. This guy was in his 50s, I was in my 20s... Urgh...

I rung the agency and said how inappropriate he was being and that i wasn't allowing him back inside my home, as I felt unsure.
I also rang his company reported him... They were appalled. Obviously not good PR for them..

It worked!

Good luck OP!

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 25/03/2015 05:02

PS
I would ask your agency either to cancel him or for them to attend and supervise him...

I would deffo not be want to be alone in my home with him..

trashcanjunkie · 25/03/2015 13:16

How's it going op?

Capricorn76 · 25/03/2015 13:37

I wouldn't want him back in my home.

Plus pretty much every celeb black and white is wearing weaves or extensions these days. It doesn't mean the wearer is bald underneath!

Original poster
Leafitout · 26/03/2015 11:55

Thank goodness he arrived with another tradesman yesterday. He kept out of my way and didn't pass further comment.

OP posts:
GallicGarlic · 26/03/2015 12:47

Oh, thank goodness! Wonder if anyone else had complained and the company's sending a minder with him?

GallicGarlic · 26/03/2015 12:49

Like PPs, btw, I do think it's worth telling the company. It's unsettling, rather threatening behaviour.

Original poster
Leafitout · 26/03/2015 12:57

A few days later we are given feedback forms to fill in so I shall be making it known of his behaviour on there

OP posts:
augustusglupe · 26/03/2015 13:12

Yes, I've had tradesmen (can't say that without sounding like Margot from the Good LifeGrin) who are generally just very over familiar. It's always uncomfortable! I mean does it make them feel big or clever, it's just pathetic and certainly in this case OP, the company needs informing.

Vivacia · 26/03/2015 13:24

None of the conversation was appropriate, and I'm surprised some posters think otherwise!

duftlys · 27/03/2015 22:06

yes, the last tradesman I had was v familiar. I'm going to channel margot leadbetter next time. He even had a shower when I was at work. I'm as sure I can be. We went to the diy shop in his white van and he was saying 'is this your first time Wink in a white van?!". I shouldn't have been afraid to put up a boundary on minute one day one

duftlys · 27/03/2015 22:11

Stubbornstains, shit you're good at the old put down there Wine

we need armies more like you. start work monday.