Aibu or is he (honest answers only).

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So at the request of my dp I am asking aibu or is he?

Last night we're sat watching TV, do fell asleep on one couch (I was sat with sleeping baby on the other) I continued watching.

Programme finishes and it's time for bed. I said dp's name 4 times to wake him to come to bed (he was lying on a 2 seater couch so wouldn't be comfy) he didn't respond. As baby had been squirmy I didn't want to get up incase she rolled so I GENTLY tossed a cushion over to his legs to get his attention and encourage him to go up to bed.

He took great offense to this and told me, after I asked what was wrong, that he was upset and annoyed that I'd 'hit' him with the cushion, I said sorry and explained that I'd said his name and couldn't leave baby to go over to him.

Once he had sat up I got up to get my phone, as if baby moved he could get her, but he thinks if I got up at that point I should have gotten up to wake him in a more "thoughtful and considerate" manner.

He says I should be thoroughly apologetic as I upset him.

I think he's being a big fucking baby and should be greatful I woke him instead of letting him get freezing and sore sleeping on a tiny couch.

Who's being unreasonable?

(Ps he might comment).

"I don't like having my back to dd when she's asleep, so when dp sat up he had eyes on her so I didn't have to"
Sorry to be so picky OP, but - really? You consider that someone who is sitting down, had just awoken and so would be a little slow; could react faster than someone who was already on their feet and would presumably only have their back turned for a few seconds? (And yes I know it can only take seconds. but IMO you'd still be able to react quicker.) And you're happy to pass responsibility to the sleepy sitter straight away so you can get to your phone?

I wonder if your DP's reaction to this has been along the lines of 'she'll chuck something at me because she "can't" get up to wake me, but will bounce to her feet for her bloody phone'. I think I would be upset if I thought my DP valued their phone over me. Or that they would wake me just to get their phone. That may not be how it played in your mind, but I do think it could appear that way to someone suddenly awoken.

Rerun it in your mind, with some changes. You toss the cushion, it wakes him, you stay seated and ask for help to lift DD up to bed. Do you think he would have been upset then?

I'm also missing why he had to be woken tbh.

To watch your sleeping daughter so that you could get your phone & go to bed??

I think that you should just have left him tbh.

"should be greatful I woke him instead of letting him get freezing and sore sleeping on a tiny couch."

.

So you woke him up to take the toddler to bed?
Is that what he is upset about?

well I think if gently tossing a cushion onto an partners legs leads them to have a big hissy fit and being annoyed and demanding an apology I would think they were a prat. "Thoroughly apologetic" my arse.

Don't ever marry him. :)

Next time just leave him to wake himself up - or not.

unless ...... ?

Was it this cushion OP?

He's being a precious flower

I don't really understand why you didn't just leave him to sleep?

what a tool.

i can understand being arsey at being woken up, but to drag it out and demand grovelling apologies? sheesh!

and i can quite believe it was a gentle toss of the cushion and that there "isn't more to the story" some people are just complete tool-bags who make such a song and dance over nothing but are completely unable to back down at admitting they over reacted.

I'm always grateful to DH for waking me when I inevitably conk out doze off on the sofa.

It's horrible waking up in the middle of the night cold and alone.

I can't imagine caring if he fired a cushion at my legs to do it.

Unless it was BeCool's cushion. But I'm guessing she doesn't lend that one out

Your DH sounds very precious. I can't imagine being offended if my DH woke me up this way as a one-off or visa versa.

Even if I was slightly miffed for some reason, I doubt I would say anything.

I might be being v dopey but I'm having trouble visualising the scenario...

Anyhoo if it was the method of being woken that he's in a hump about (rather than the waking itself) then YANBU.

Might be being a bit dopey but I'm having trouble visualising the scenario.

Anyhoo if it's the method of being woken he's in a hump about (rather than being woken up full stop) then YANBU.

Sorry but I would go mad if someone woke me to go to bed as if I were 5!! And did it by chucking a cushion at me.

And you did have to get up to put baby to bed. You could have come back down and gently asked if he wanted to come to bed. Sorry - but it would piss me off

He's being ridiculous. So oversensitive. Would drive me crazy.

I don't get it. But may well have missed something.
Why didn't you just get up and put baby to bed as you would have had to anyway, unless you were planning on sleeping on the sofa with her?
He's also being a bit daft though
For what it's worth, I used to get myself ready for bed and then phone OH to wake him up. That stopped working, so I just leave him there now.

did this to my oh he reacted just as badly in my defense the baby fell asleep on my and my back locked up i couldn't move at all he finally stopped telling me i was wrong long enough to remove the baby and i slid to the floor and lay there like a plank he finally realized i was in real pain and helped me out only to go on about it the following day so that night i left him down there asleep and cold he came up shivering and moaned at me i pointed out that i didnt know how to wake him up nicely so he was just going to have to do it himself in future!

he actually sopped moaning at that point

Those posters asking why op didnt just get up with baby and then wake him.How? What could be more gentle than a cushion? Really. Maybe a silk mitten caressing his shoulder?
He is being prickly and precious.
Ignore his demands for an apology and next time just leave him on the sofa.

Did the OP's DP join the thread and comment?

Or is he too busy baking & eating humble pie?