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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu or is he (honest answers only).

94 replies

Skeeter3 · 23/03/2015 14:17

So at the request of my dp I am asking aibu or is he?

Last night we're sat watching TV, do fell asleep on one couch (I was sat with sleeping baby on the other) I continued watching.

Programme finishes and it's time for bed. I said dp's name 4 times to wake him to come to bed (he was lying on a 2 seater couch so wouldn't be comfy) he didn't respond. As baby had been squirmy I didn't want to get up incase she rolled so I GENTLY tossed a cushion over to his legs to get his attention and encourage him to go up to bed.

He took great offense to this and told me, after I asked what was wrong, that he was upset and annoyed that I'd 'hit' him with the cushion, I said sorry and explained that I'd said his name and couldn't leave baby to go over to him.

Once he had sat up I got up to get my phone, as if baby moved he could get her, but he thinks if I got up at that point I should have gotten up to wake him in a more "thoughtful and considerate" manner.

He says I should be thoroughly apologetic as I upset him.

I think he's being a big fucking baby and should be greatful I woke him instead of letting him get freezing and sore sleeping on a tiny couch.

Who's being unreasonable?

(Ps he might comment).

OP posts:
dinoswore · 23/03/2015 14:32

I think (as long as there isn't generally a pattern of him being over critical for little things and this really is a one off) that you should accept that it upset him and apologise.

And I agree with the poster above who mentioned the stresses and tiredness that goes with having a baby and you should both be kinder to each other.

seriouslypeedoff · 23/03/2015 14:32

The baby is 2.5 years? Or months? If years maybe put the child to bed?

bunnysmummy · 23/03/2015 14:32

He is overreacting, totally. I can understand feeling a bit irritated at the time but no need to bang on about it.
Next time throw a cup of water over him, gently.

BathtimeFunkster · 23/03/2015 14:32

You did a nice thing by waking him up and not just leaving him there.

He is being ridiculous.

MissPenelopeLumawoo2 · 23/03/2015 14:33

I think he is being a bit precious. If he can't handle being woken by a gentle toss of a cushion, give it a few years and see how he likes being woken by your DC lobbing a piece of lego at his head at 5am. Bitter experience

MadBannersAndCopPorn · 23/03/2015 14:34

I think you're both being unreasonable. Him for expecting to be woken and you for getting up anyway after throwing the cushion. Wake him up nicely or don't wake him up at all. I'd go with the latter if I were you!

^ This

Jackieharris · 23/03/2015 14:35

A 2.5 yo isn't a sleeping baby- I thought you meant a 2 month old!

Why didn't you just put the toddler to bed then go back and see him?

He is being an unreasonable arse about it though.

Original poster
Skeeter3 · 23/03/2015 14:35

She's 2.5 YEARS, there's very good reasons why she can't sleep alone/needs to be watched when sleeping.

OP posts:
redskybynight · 23/03/2015 14:35

I wouldn't like having something thrown at me to wake me up.

Don't know why you didn't just pick your toddler up and either take them to bed leaving DP asleep, or take them over to DP to gently wake him.

Throwing a cushion seems an extremely odd thing to do.

seriouslypeedoff · 23/03/2015 14:36

Fair enough, but its not really a sleeping baby.

Pyjamasandwine · 23/03/2015 14:36

lois thought that said my wanking technique Grin

Op he's a bit precious isn't he you big bully! Wink

monkeysaymoo · 23/03/2015 14:37

TBH I would be pissed off if someone threw a cushion at me to wake me up. I don't believe for a second that it was a gentle throw either! I still don't understand why you didn't get up a 2.5 year old is a toddler not a baby.

That said if you apologised initially he should get over it. It's really not worth having a drawn out argument over.

BigfootFilesHisToesInYourTea · 23/03/2015 14:37

If someone saw fit to wake me by throwing a cushion at me, I'd be pretty ticked off. Massively disrespectful, not to mention an unpleasant way to wake.

He falls asleep on the uncomfy sofa, he gets to wake up when he's uncomfy. Not your problem - he's an adult who's perfectly in control of where he falls asleep. I'd have left him sleeping.

Or is there more to this and you were envious/hacked off that he was lying there fast asleep and you couldn't sleep as you were trapped under sleeping child?

Original poster
Skeeter3 · 23/03/2015 14:38

I wish now it had been the remote, at least his reaction would be appropriate.

OP posts:
seriouslypeedoff · 23/03/2015 14:38

I think most of us had visions of parents to a newborn under newborn pressure. Does her issues around sleeping effect you and dh sleeping during the night? Is it a case of you are just both tired and stressed.

DoJo · 23/03/2015 14:39

Does he disagree that your daughter could not have been left on the sofa while you went over to wake him up more gently or is that the source of the disagreement?

MinceSpy · 23/03/2015 14:40

So you were sleeping on one sofa with your toddler and tossed a cushion at DH to wake him up because you didn't want to disturb the child. You then stood up to get your phone. I think you are both U

SoonToBeSix · 23/03/2015 14:41

Yabu to call a child a baby.

MythicalKings · 23/03/2015 14:41

He's being a pompous fart. You're his DP not a 7 year old child to be admonished.

Original poster
Skeeter3 · 23/03/2015 14:42

DD's SN makes her very much a baby developmentally.

I can appreciate that it's not the best way to be woken, but I said sorry and didn't think it was the worst way to be woken, was just more convenient than lifting dd and attempting to use my feet to pet him awake.

OP posts:
DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 23/03/2015 14:43

He's being a big fat baby. next time leave him to sleep on the sofa however uncomfortable and cold he will be. if youre feeling generous maybe throw a blanket over him (carefully. you don't want to upset him...) life is too short for diva strops over a fucking cushion Confused

DozyDonut · 23/03/2015 14:44

He's a knob, if it was me and he hadn't woken when called I would of left him there for the night Smile

frankbough · 23/03/2015 14:44

Put a peg on his nose, or gently balance various objects on his head, then leave him be..

SaucyJack · 23/03/2015 14:44

I would have left him asleep in the first place if it was my OH- unless he was snoring, in which case chucking anything short of his chainsaw at him is more than justified.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 23/03/2015 14:46

and FGS does it matter whether OP refers to her 2.5 year old as a baby or a child? Hmm hardly most offensive thing ever written in AIBU is it?!