to feel a bit upset with my DB that I found out about my nieces arrival on FB

[askyfullofstars]

I have always been close to my brother and my SIL, he gave me away at my wedding, I was a bridesmaid at theirs, I am close to my DN (their first) and their second DD was due on Thursday.
We dont live physically close, but we talk and visit each other a lot, I even had a lovely chat with my DSIL on Saturday about how exciting the new baby will be and when we are next visiting, and to keep me posted, she said not to worry she'd make sure my DB let me know as soon as.
Anyhoo, fast forward to this morning, I am at work (I know I shouldnt be MN'ing at work, but there is only me here today and feel a bit upset and dont know if I am overreacting) so cant talk, but have been checking my phone periodically for a text/news (my first DN was a week early), and I received a text from a friend to say congrats about my niece, she'd just seen it on FB I must be really excited.
So I did have a nose and my DSIL's mum posted on facebook at 4am this morning "baby xxx arrived safely very proud grandma - with DB and DSIL".

I am ready to be told that I am being pathetic and need to get over myself, I just feel a bit hurt that x hundred random aquaintances knew anything about my DN arrival and I am yet to even get a text. or anything.

And I know that it can be a pain to text/call everyone, so I am prepared to be flamed for that, I just cant help feeling a bit hurt.

I'd feel hurt if I was so close to my DB and DSIL and found out through a friend who saw it on FB :(

Would you have wanted a phone call at 4am? i know i wouldnt have been impressed.

my DSis had a baby at the weekend, and we were waiting for her/him to update their fb before we did anything on ours

In the big scheme of things, dont be upset you didnt get a call, although it is a little odd you havent had one yet - they're probably overwhelmed with new baby

(congrats Auntie btw )

Sounds to me like DSIL's mum jumped the gun. Speaking as an oldie myself I think sometimes older people don't get the FB etiquette. I bet your DB will be mortified. X

I think if you're close then it is upsetting you haven't been told this morning. That being said, dsil's mother shouldn't really have put anything on fb! Your db might have no idea the news is 'out there', and might have used this morn to catch up on sleep before ringing round.
So I can see why you'd be hurt but hopefully there were no shit intentions there iyswim?
Congrats on your dn!

Horrible way to find out - but my first thought is how dare your sil's mum announce the birth on FB? Do your brother and sil even know she's done that?

I think you are jumping the gun here. For all you know they are furious that she put that message up on Facebook. You can't blame them because her mum put something on Facebook they probably aren't even aware of.

And this is why baby announcements shouldn't be made on Facebook! It's not the parents fault, though, so you mustn't be cross with them. As for the Granny posting it, she was probably over-excited and didn't think.

I don't like the whole competitive who-knows-first thing about childbirth. My parents and the in-laws got a bit crazy when DS2 was en route. It's just a baby!

Its been less than 12hrs though, I dont think YABU to be upset (I'd be upset too) but they didn't post it themselves- maybe they haven't even been on fb and just told parents (and i presume it was DB's MIL that posted it, its what it sounds) I don't think they'd intentionally exclude you x

I see where you’re coming from, but the fact her DMum put it on doesn’t mean they’ve chosen to share the news or tell everyone but you. If I were your DB I would be pretty pissed at her to be honest- fair enough she’s excited but it’s not her news to share. That’s actually really selfish and unthinking.

DB and DSil are probably exhausted and I’m sure you’ll be getting a lovely text or phone call later. It’s not even lunchtime!

kittens maybe a text that I could have picked up when I got up or something?
hoggle she has tagged them in it and SIL has been liking all the congrats.

I'd bet your brother and SIL have no idea that their baby's birth has been announced in Facebook.

I would feel hurt in this situation too. We called family at 1 and 5am when ours were born. My sister called me in the middle of the night to say her baby had been born.

There are births, deaths and emergencies that warrent a middle of the night phonecall imo. Obviously not everyone you know - but certainly close family.

My best friend failed totally to tell me her daughter had been born! It was a miscommunication she assumed her DH had contacted me and him her. It pissed me off and hurt me though when I first found out through other people.

There may be a reason before you get too upset.

And I don't think it's odd you haven't had a call yet. Dd was born at 5am after a very long birth. We didn't phone anyone until a day or two later. We were just too exhausted and it really wasn't the priority.

Ah sil liking all the stuff on FB puts a different slant on it for me - I'd have expected a phone call once they knew the news was out x

Ah, just saw your post. I'm not surprised you're upset but try not to let how you found out taint the joy of a new niece.

I think you are jumping the gun.

It was not your db or your sil who put it on fb but sil's mum who may have done it without asking if it was ok.

It's annoying you found out that way but congrats on the new niece. My sister is currently in labour with my first niece!

Why are you sitting there getting worked up about them 'liking' comments? Why haven't you called them to congratulate now that you know?

I'm sorry, but you are not their priority right now, they have a newborn baby and another child that are probably forefront of thier minds right now.

In an ideal world yes they would have had the opportunity to tell you themselves before the news went viral (and I'm sure putting it on FB at 4am wasn't thier conscious choice) but it's done now and in the grand scheme of things doesn't really matter does it?

I don't think you should be really upset its not the nicest way to find out though.
I think they probably thought at 4 am it wouldn't be appreciated/ they'll both be really tiered etc.
I also think they'll be majorly pissed of at the mil for putting it on FB. I don't think that it will go down well...

Congratulations on your new niece

My granddad found out through FB when DD was born. OH and I had managed to call pretty much everyone else while I was being stitched up, despite it being gone midnight, but DD was then taken to SCBU for tests and I was on the verge of a blood transfusion so we stopped calling before we'd reached my granddad. Sometimes it happens and it's not nice on the person who finds out via FB, but can't be helped.

It's possible that they were so overwhelmed by it all - particularly if it was a 4am birth - that calling or texting never occurred to them, it was just easier for the mum to put it on Facebook.

When I was expecting DS1, I made DH a list of people to ring round with the news, (pre mobile and internet days). A couple of days out of hospital, and I was just starting to feel like no one was particularly interested in my new baby, when my mate rung up to see if he had arrived yet.

In the excitement, DH had forgotten to ring anyone.

I'm hoping that there is a good reason why your DB hasn't told you himself. But your are not unreasonable for feeling upset for finding out the way you did.

I have never forgiven DP for texting my Dad to let him know DS1 had arrived. It was his first grandchild. DP (the fucking idiot! I mean who send a text to the Grandparents anyway I wanted him to phone him - I couldn't as I'd had an epidural and couldn't move) sent it to the wrong phone number so my Dad never got it. My Dad found out through a text sent from my Nan congratualting him on becoming a Grandad. She had been with my cousin when my mum was phoning round that side of the family to let them know (my parents are separated so thats why she didn't tell my Dad). It caused a few upsets which frankly no one needs at a birth.

Hope your brother apologises to you and you get to see your new neice soon.

Sounds like Grandma jumped the gun with the 4am announcement, for all you know at this stage the new parents may be at the announcement, but sure what can they do about it now I suppose.

Your new niece is here though so Congratulations . I think she trumps any facebook shenanigans.

What Sukie said. I bet they don't know it's up on Facebook and I bet they'll be cross.

In the great scheme of things though, I don't think this is going to affect your long term relationship with DN2 and it sounds as if you have a good relationship with DB and DSIL so I would view it as a glitch in the communication matrix at a very topsy turvy time and not worry too much about it. Believe me, there's no accounting for excited Grandmas!

Just saw your update. But your SIL said your DB would keep you updated?! So presumably she thinks he's told you?

I really think you should just call them.

You are beginning to sound a teensy bit precious I'm afraid....sorry.