to feel a bit upset with my DB that I found out about my nieces arrival on FB

[askyfullofstars]

I have always been close to my brother and my SIL, he gave me away at my wedding, I was a bridesmaid at theirs, I am close to my DN (their first) and their second DD was due on Thursday.
We dont live physically close, but we talk and visit each other a lot, I even had a lovely chat with my DSIL on Saturday about how exciting the new baby will be and when we are next visiting, and to keep me posted, she said not to worry she'd make sure my DB let me know as soon as.
Anyhoo, fast forward to this morning, I am at work (I know I shouldnt be MN'ing at work, but there is only me here today and feel a bit upset and dont know if I am overreacting) so cant talk, but have been checking my phone periodically for a text/news (my first DN was a week early), and I received a text from a friend to say congrats about my niece, she'd just seen it on FB I must be really excited.
So I did have a nose and my DSIL's mum posted on facebook at 4am this morning "baby xxx arrived safely very proud grandma - with DB and DSIL".

I am ready to be told that I am being pathetic and need to get over myself, I just feel a bit hurt that x hundred random aquaintances knew anything about my DN arrival and I am yet to even get a text. or anything.

And I know that it can be a pain to text/call everyone, so I am prepared to be flamed for that, I just cant help feeling a bit hurt.

I've never understood the upset caused by how someone finds out about a new baby being born.

I have sent sisters, cousins and friends off to deliver their babies and only recieved the announcement through Facebook or a third party. It's never once bothered me.

When DC1 was born, both sets of our parents were already in the waiting room. I announced to every one else over facebook and I'm sure the grandparents rang those who they wanted to tell the news to.

DC2 was born, I texted both sets of parents so they could arrange to visit and then again announced on facebook.

Why does it matter who knows first or how?? Genuinely confused by this.

Yabu. It wouldn't have crossed my mind that the news was released on the MILs facebook on purpose so I wouldn't feel offended about it. If you have just given birth or your partner has just given birth I don't think you nesseserily think about all the different options of letting people know. I honestly don't think it would bother me unless it was done to deliberately upset me.

It doesn't change the news whether you see it on facebook or whether you get it in a text.

I'm sorry but I think you are being silly.

Congrats on your new DN though.

no it's crass.

And for those saying that they must be "absolutely exhausted," etc, the op stated that the sil has been liking comments on fb etc. So clearly she's not too exhausted to be on facebook yet family are seemingly not important enough to warrant even so much as a text.

Just because "it's 2015," and "this is how things are done," doesn't make it ok.

wannabe I don't think we have to accept this is how things are done because it's 2015 or anything like that. I just think that this sort of thing happening is just an unfortunate consequence of the world we live in now.

I wouldn't imagine that OP's DB or SIL are particularly happy about the Facebook thing, but it's happened now and if I was them, I would hope that my sister would realise that it wasn't a slight against her or sit petulantly still waiting for a phone call so that I could apologise profusely or grovel or whatever.

I imagine OP is not the only person who found out this way who, in an ideal situation, would have got a call today and be one of the first to hear the news.

And the fact that SIL has been on Facebook is neither here nor there. If she wants to bask in new baby congratulations messages then good for her!

It could be as simple as granny jumped the gun and now SIL and brother assume everyone has seen it so aren't in a rush to do ring arounds atm. It's a bit rude but they aren't probably thinking of anyone except their new baby right now.

I think it's quite common for some of the older generation to jump the lines, sometimes, as gutting as it was...

Ds was born quite late, by the time I was stitched up and everything it was quite late, but we were phoning the more important people anyway to let them know, and saving some people until the morning.

I told my Df to which he phoned his family as the proud granddad does to let them know (we were ok with this - as it saved us a job) but then my aunt posted on Fb to congratulate me on my actual wall, when we were waiting to name ds before announcing it officially. It was quite upsetting as we wanted to do it in our own personal time and it wasn't until well after this I realized we hadn't phoned my mother yet!

Newborns are overwhelming and tbh I would of forgotten my own name if the midwives didn't keep saying it. You shouldn't stew on the lack of phone call or text as upsetting as it is to you. Facebook is a quick easy way to spread the news quickly... It takes lots of precious time away from baby to phone and text everyone!

Congratulations on being an aunty!

This happened to me with my first niece. It turned out they'd texted me from the hospital in the early hours to let me know, but network problems meant the text didn't come through until after I saw it on Facebook. It is upsetting, but you can't hold it against them.

I absolutely detest people announcing other people's life events, before the relevant people have said anything themselves.