to think its ok for my kids to stay with my parents

[seriouslypeedoff]

Hi

My mum and dad own a caravan. During the summer months they take my DC to it for the odd weekend. And in the summer holidays me and dh will go too.

My Dbro wife told me its irresponsible to let mum and dad take the kids for 2 nights to their caravan. My kids are 11 and 5 and my mum and dad actually ask to take them. It does make life easier for me and dh, as we obviously get a weekend off. However I don't ask my parents to take them, they ask me. They went once last year and the kids loved it. Mum and dad aren't particularly old or in bad health and have a great relationship with all their gc. My parent have also offered to take dbro and sils kids on a different weekend (i think they would struggle with 4 kids at once) which they refused. Fair enough.

I have to admit that when sil said this I was shocked and pointed out that she left her ds with her 14 year old cousin over night while sil, dbro and the cousins parents stayed in a hotel an hour away. I didn't say anything to her at the time as that was her decision as its her child. I was trying to point out that, its not really anything to do with her and she does stuff I wouldn't do. She was very offended and walked out if the kitchen. Dbro says she is annoyed with me. I feel a but 'meh' about her being upset tbh. I told dbro that she needs to keep her nose out of my business and not to start commenting if she can't take it back.

We already have a strained relationship as she like to tell me exactly what she thinks of my parenting choices. Ie I shouldn't work, I should baptise my kids (even though she hasn't baptised either of hers) etc. Usually i change the subject as I am close to my brother and don't want to fall out. Tbh she is a good mum, but just parents different to me. So I don't see a reason to comment on her choices. My nephews are safe and loved.

So aibu to let my kids go with my mum and dad? Also was ibu to point out that she has done similar things or things that I wouldn't do and still keep my mouth closed.

Thanks

What is your SiL going to do when her kids want to go camping with brownies/beavers/school trips, etc? Are they going to banned from going away for more than one night and miss out on trips with their friends?

Oh, gosh, what a pathetic thing to say.
Absolute shit stirrer!

Glad to hear of your chat with your parents, and that you have all put on a united front and told her in no uncertain terms that this behaviour won't be tolerated any more!!

Hopefully now she will put her wooden spoon away, and concentrate on her own kids rather than being so obsessed with what yours are doing!!

I've had a similar reaction from my bil - he is a bit heavy on the control front if you ask me and has not so far let his daughter stay with my parents. My two have stayed there during half terms etc (one at a time) and it gives them such pleasure -a real chance to develop a deep relationship between generations.

So not happy when bil suggested it may be a bit much for my parents (showing concern so that his take on this does not look so unreasonable I think - AIBU?) . I took no notice, in years to come the kids will really appreciate the time they had with the grand parents just like I did.

So your parents could have her children overnight and have a good night's sleep or your mum could go over there and come back in the early hours of the morning?

Your mum needs to be more firm and tell her that just because SIL has a night out, it shouldn't mean your mum is knackered in the morning.

Your SIL sounds a real horror! The thing is we are all trying to see logic in her behaviour but in fact I think she's guided purely by emotion.

imperial exactly would be easier at mums but its not allowed. Mum does need to put her foot down. Previous attempts have been met with dbro stropping, storming out of her house and door slamming. He isn't much better than sil to be fair. The very last time though he did accept it was them, no shouting but no apology.

I think she works off emotion too, acts without actually thinking or really caring.

My friend in rl (who witnessed some of this when she visited last year) thinks its because I am no longer obese. I don't, as she is very attractive. I don't think there is any one reason to it.

Oh that's interesting, isn't it, that you have changed and so has her behaviour?

Your mum should just say she's getting too old for those late night drives and that the children will have to stay with her if your BIL and SIL want to go out. They may sulk and slam things, but I doubt whether they will go so far as to pay for a babysitter more than once! There's no point in everyone pandering to them both as this will just make them more and more demanding.

Squoosh, I loved this: Zip her into a one man tent and then stitch it up.