to ban DD from school dinners?

[AlmondAmy]

DD is 7 yo, 112cm tall and 4.5 stone. Before free school meals, she'd eat 8-)9 portions of fruit and veg per day and was always chirpy and active. Recently she's become lethargic, moody and irritable and has put weight on. She won't eat fruit/veg but is constantly complaining that she's hungry and trying to get her siblings food. She is greedy to the point of making herself sick from gorging on so much rubbish food at parties.

School dinners this week have included pizza, mash, bread and chocolate muffin, breaded fish, chips and flapjack and sausages, mash, bread and chocolate cake with custard. A packed lunch is typically a roast chicken wrap, couple squares of cheese, tomato, peppers, cucumber, carrots and hummus, strawberries and a biscuit.

School give out reward stickers for an empty plate, which I completely disagree with. DD is desperate to keep having school dinners but I think they're rubbish and affecting her weight and mood and want to go back to packed lunch everyday. ExH thinks I'm being cruel to deny her and says he'll ask school how to order them so my packed lunch goes to waste He says her weight is fine and a healthy appetite should be encouraged. I don't think practically salivating over other peoples food and asking for it despite just having had a meal is 'healthy' at all. AIBU?

kelpeed "why would you stick needles into a child to get blood out for testing before you did the more simple, massively less invasive test, which is to switch back to the home packed lunches?"
what's with the over the top response? i actually did suggest switching back to packed lunches one blood test that takes a minute or so to perform is hardly abusing the child - especially if - after the gp has assessed her - they feel it would be the next necessary appropriate step.

also, for the simple reason that a packed lunch will not tell you whether the dc has hormonal or other underlying medical conditions going on.
i suggested discussing this with the gp because i do not feel that all the symptoms/behaviour being dsiplayed can be totally attributed to school lunches.

if there is an underlying medical/hormonal condition that goes undiagnosed and untreated, and the focus remains constantly on food and weight then there is a high chance this child will go on to develop a more problematic relationship/association with food and body image than is considered 'normal' for her development.....and i'm sure no parent wants that for their child.

I think it could be portion size, i mean i wouldnt feed a 4 yo the same as a 11yo.
8-9 portions of fruit or veg sounds a lot. Is that mainly veg?

Are you sure height and weight are correct as that looks like 2nd percentile height almost 91st for weight?

Also what are "ten sweets"? Is that ten chewits? Or ten packs of something?

I can only speak for our school but as i said before we promote healthy eating and actively encourage the students to make informed choices and have a healthy relationship with food. That is education. To strictly limit their choices all of the time in school would make it impossible to educate at that level. It could also have the reverse effect and possibly result in a very unhealthy relationship with food, binging etc when given the chance.
I also fail to see why schools should take full responsibility and police food choices so strictly just to enable the parents to take them to fast food outlets and give them junk food as treats without guilt.

I hate the empty plate stickers, too. Children need to eat when hungry and stop when full. Of course you can try and go back to packed lunch (Ex can't stop you).

That aside, are you sure school lunch is the problem? They do have puddings, but these cakes and crumbles are pretty much sugar free and fried stuff is rare. Her height and weight measurements suggest she is very overweight, not a child who only just crept from slightly heavy to overweight. Is she accessing food elsewhere? Eating her friends' food maybe or getting treats from someone? I often see school gate mums handing out sweets to their own and many other kids. Hope you find out what the problem is.

Sorry- just saw "She easily eats more than me". There is your answer. She must eat considerable less than you.

5 small lunches at school won't affect her weight if she's eating properly at home and getting all the exercise she needs.

You say you don't feel she needs '2 big cooked meals' per day and I agree, but you'll find school lunches aren't big at all.

But it's not 5 small lunches a week. It's 10 main meals over 5 days!

When you add all the main course, crappy puddings, extra bread and fruit together, it makes a substantial main meal.

The OP wants to ban her child from having 5 small school lunches per week because she's gained weight and become lethargic.

My point is that if she's eating properly at home and getting all the exercise she needs, the school lunches wont be making her fat and lethargic.

It's just a very light meal with a small dessert.

The majority of our children's food is eaten at home, so that's where the OP needs to focus (along with exercise) imo.

Reception class teacher here.
I can't imagine any child becoming overweight by consuming 5 school dinners and puddings. Have you ever seen them? They are really small. Think one vegetarian sausage, 2 tablespoons of veg and a small scoop of mash or pasta. Or one tiny slice of roast beef, 3 small potatoes and veg.
They are half the size I serve up to my 5 year old grandson.
Back in the day they had to provide 800 calories. There is no calorie number requirement but no way does any dinner I have ever helped to cut up provide more than that.

Agree with Worra.

School lunches may not be ideal but it's unlikely that these are the sole cause of the OP's concerns about her DD.

My 5yo DS2 has school lunches and whilst these are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination he hasn't gained excessive amounts of weight, isn't frantically trying to steal siblings' food and is certainly not lethargic.

Go back to packed lunches by all means, but it would be wise to seek medical advice to check that she has no underlying health issues.

Have you seem the meals? They aren't light, they are very filling and not very healthy

The meals at my school are not big - a ice cream scoop of mashed potato, a small piece of meat and a spoon of veg, followed by a small piece of cake and custard. Or two fishfingers, about 6 chips and a spoon of beans. Not enough to get obese on.

Ooooooh not only have I seen them, I eat one at least once a fortnight.

I've also been to and sampled the lunches at 3 other local primary schools (though being a school governor) and believe me, they are very small.

Why would they overfeed kids and then send them to run around the playground or do PE?

Are you sure about those measurements? My 4 yo is a centimetre taller but at least a stone lighter and I wouldn't describe my DD as svelte.

Also what the OP describes in terms of moodiness, lethargy, irritability and weight gain could be the onset of puberty.

She may be only 7yrs old but I can think of at least 3 nine year olds I know/have known who have started their periods.

800calories would be a lot though, i think.
I often have 400 or so (2 bread, ham, crisps) and im 5'4. Maybe snack banana and apple so 550.
Wonder what that calorie requirement of 7yo is

I agree with what Worra has said. This cannot be down to the school lunches alone.

You've mentioned your ExH - do you know what she eats when she's with him (I'm assuming she stays with him sometimes)? Also does she do very much exercise?

I'd second those who have suggested you talk to your GP in case there are any underlying causes.

Something else you could try is to give her a high-protein breakfast (eggs, sausages, beans, cheese) as it can curb your appetite for the rest of the day.

800 calories may have also included the bottle of milk though, I'm not sure.

Bhs website says approx 1530 calories for 7 year old girl.

Nhs not bhs!

Did all the other children put on a huge amount of weight after starting school meals or just your dd?

Def check the measurements, my dc (same age) is 5cm taller and 1.5 stone lighter (and normal weight), so this would be very overweight.

The claim that "school dinners are made without allergens" can only be made by someone who has no experience with children who suffer from multiple allergies.

Did you know that around 50% of children who are allergic to dairy are also allergic to soya? So soya based custard is not an allergy free substitute for dairy.

Many school meals include peas or beans, which are also common allergens (and many nut allergic children cross-react with peas, beans and lentils).

Fish-fingers? Oh, wait. Fish is a very common allergen.

Using an egg glaze? No. That's a common allergen too.

Then, what about gluten? I very much doubt if all the food is made egg, dairy, soya, nut, bean, pea, pulses, gluten and fish free and they are just some of the more common allergens. That's before getting into the strawberries, kiwi-fruit etc allergies which are becoming increasingly common.

Unless you actually routinely cater for children with multiple severe allergies (both mine are anaphylactic for several of those common allergens), you have no clue about creating "allergy free" food and thankfully we don't have to cater for every single allergy.

Nut-free does not equal allergy free (and dairy allergy is not the same as lactose intolerance).

Rant done.