This isn't sexist at all.

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

In my DH works on night shifts each of the wives/partners cook for all the men on shift.

I'm happy with it and so are all the other women, we have been doing this for years. It means they all get a hot home made meal.

The 1 partner of a new man who has started has pulled a strop and said it sexiest and very 1950.

The reason we all enjoy cooking them as we can step away from cooking 'kids' meals and kick up the heat on curries and jerk chicken ect.
While I accept that children do eat these kind of meals within our friendship group all these are always done mild.

IABU to think it is not sexiest.

In able to do this many years ago with the Christmas bonus they brought a George foreman, slow cooker, pressure cooker and a rice cooker. Due to H&S the only thing they haven't got is a deep fat fryer. But all the others have been PACT tested.

This is how you make it NOT sexist: draw up a rota with every man (you know, the people who actually work there) responsible for a specific night shift. Then leave it completely up to him how that's done. Maybe he cooks, maybe his partner cooks, maybe he orders in pizza, whatever.

I agree with dreamingbohemian

I am glad my thread has made people laugh.

I find it hard to believe this is real, it's so bizarre. Where does he work? In a factory owned by Nigel Farage or Godfrey Bloom?

Is it a wind up OP? You are ignoring a lot of the questions here..

Thanks op and timeaftertimeagain for a great laugh. Great end to the week.

Remind me , did we ever find out why the men don't cook the shared meal?

I think it must be a wind up. And the 'sexiest' 1950s gubbins too.

OP, you created this thread to show your husband that he is out of order to expect you to cook for thirty blokes?

wantto why would the men want to? They have wives to do that for them and can you blame them for not wanting to cook giant vats of food on a semi regular basis?

I don't enjoy cooking that much. I am a good cook when I have a few friends coming round though.

I had a banter / flirtation with a man recently and then he suggested with a twinkle in his eye that I might like to cook him dinner. It turned me off him. Maybe I'm too harsh but just the way he said it, like I'd enjoy that; more than he'd enjoy it. I'd have to know a man was worth the effort before I cooked for him and that's one man I'm talking about. I know you're married OP but seriously, cooking for thirty, who'd enjoy that?

I agree that the set ups sexist but that text was rude. Calling you twats was uncalled for. That's just mean.

1) Is your DH a fire fighter or a police officer? Just interested..

I was going to say that. Got to page 5 and someone beat me to it. Will now read rest of thread and see if we were right.

It reminds me of those reality tv shows where they follow firefighters etc through their shift and it always shows the men taking it in turns to cook a meal. One did bread and butter too. Good choice. Please note I said the men. Never seen them getting the little wife to do it.

I'm the very reincarnation of a 50's housewife and even I find it sexist.

I don't half raise an eyebrow when half of Mumset think it's fine to sling insults at an OP (Stepford is the go-to slagging), for doing something she wants to do and is happy to do.

Of course it sounds a bit mad, this whole cooking for the blokes thing, but the OP has the bloody right to enjoy doing it if it suits her.

The Stepford insult is nasty - implying that the OP isn't making a coherent decision about making the meals/she's too dim to realise that it's A Bad Thing.

New partner doesn't want it, fine. Argue the toss about whether it's sexist, that's part of the AIBU, but no matter how unpalatable it might be to others, the OP is happy with how she's doing things.

If it's convenient for you all then it's fine. But this new person shouldn't be made to feel she has to join in if she doesn't want to.

sending a text inviting a total stranger to cook for a large group of strange men who can't be arsed to make their own meals might be seen as twattish behaviour.

Depending where you live, "twat" can be a very mild word - almost the equivalent of "twit"

The Xmas dinner and dance is going to be a much better laugh this year if newbie's OH goes. She sounds like my kind of person if she exists

There is no way I could cook for 20! I struggle to cook for 6

piper
you've had a hard time
BECAUSE
you - I assume under existing and frankly sexist pressure - made a bad opening move
BUT
its not yours to recover
its the folks who work on site

the whole
communal meal / night shift stuff is cool
but it needs to be brought up to date

if the team have a good natter they might even come up with something that REALLY works for the 21st Century

Tbh if I recieved a txt like that on oh phone I would think it was a wind up!

Piper

Please, please, please just answer this:

Do you cook this food at home or do you go in to your DH's work and do it there? If the former why mention all the cooking equipment at his work?

Well, I think it's a nice thing to do. Bet it makes the shift pass more quickly.

At my son's office, they take it in turns to bake cakes, biscuits etc. Including him. No one has to join in, but it makes work a friendlier place.

If the new worker's partner doesn't want to join in, fair enough, but no need to make a feminist point over it.

MrsDV oh god yes, obviously! the men should do the rota, sorry I didn't make that clear

I do feel a bit bad for the OP now, her intentions were good after all.

I presume all the catering equipment at work is to keep the food warm.

My husband wouldn't even dare show me a text from someone else's wife asking me if I'd like to join in the fun cooking for everyone's husbands club! He wouldn't insult me as to expect me to and he knows what I'd say!

Is it wrong to ask if most workers come from another culture where their wives don't work and do take on more old fashioned roles? My husband's ex FIL had a factory and lots of his night workers shared cooking for their meals, or brought in curries from home.

I think OP should have thought more, as should the husbands passing messages on. The odds of a "strong refusal" were good. The text was rude, but it was kind of asked for!

Like fuck am I doing that, what a bunch of sexiest 1950 twats you all sound.

Like BitOutOfPractice, I don't believe for one moment that the partner of someone new to a company would be this blunt, even with the extreme provocation of the op's text.