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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my sister to sleep in a hotel?

62 replies

Meechimoo · 20/03/2015 15:38

(my sister already gets on my goat a fair bit already, expecting regular childcare for her 3 and 6 yr old from our 80 year old frankly quite exhausted Mum...)
She's recently asked to come and stay with us, they're a family of 4. (And we're a family of 5)
This would mean 9 people in an average sized house. With no spare rooms.
We have two school aged kids and a preschooler.
The eldest kids rooms aren't the tidiest and are chock full of personal stuff like posters, ornaments, diaries etc..I'm loathe to get them to sleep on the sofa for a few days so guests can use their rooms.
We had them to stay a few years ago and it was very cramped, very chaotic and I swore never again. We've never stayed with them because we wouldn't want to bunk down on airbeds in their lounge. Which is what they're suggesting.
Also, our youngest is a very early riser so where the hell would I go with her when she wakes at 6 and they're all snoring on my lounge floor? Their toddler wakes at 8 apparently! Like I said, having done it before and felt like I was in a living hell for 3 days, I really don't want to do it again.
So I replied to my sister's text with a polite message saying that we didn't really have enough room and wouldn't it be better if she stayed in our local travel lodge?

Anyway, now she's got the major hump according to our other sis (who doesn't think I'm being unreasonable) and won't talk to me. She's basically sulking and ignoring my messages.
So, am I being unreasonable?
Be honest!
Should I just suck it up and let the 4 of them crash here with the 5 of us even if there's not enough space and I hate every second?

OP posts:
Teeb · 20/03/2015 15:41

What purpose is the visit? I don't get it if you don't actually get on.

Yanbu.

DrownedReindeer · 20/03/2015 15:42

Sounds like a winning result already OP!

jaynebxl · 20/03/2015 15:43

I wouldn't rearrange bedrooms for it but I probably would let them all sleep in the lounge

Littlef00t · 20/03/2015 15:43

Umm no! Yanbu! You don't owe your sister anything. It sounds like a nightmare. Why does she want to visit?

Original poster
Meechimoo · 20/03/2015 15:44

We kind of get on, well on the surface anyway. We've never been massively close. Her partner is a pita, very opinionated and 20 years older (no probs with age gaps, but he's definitely like an authority figure to her not a partner)

OP posts:
Original poster
Meechimoo · 20/03/2015 15:47

Purpose of the visit is social. 2 nights over Easter. They haven't visited for 3 years but we see them all the time cos we drive to our home town all the time. Last time they visited It was because her partner had a course nearby!

OP posts:
Teeb · 20/03/2015 15:57

I don't think it's necessary to have overnight family visits, you've said it's not suitable and offered alternativee, let her have the hump.

MaxPepsi · 20/03/2015 16:06

Suggest they camp in your garden?

We are visiting my DH's family later this year. There will not be room for us in the house (well, not exactly) so we are going to pitch our tent in the back garden so we can sleep there and stop any potential arguments that may arise with other family members!

expatinscotland · 20/03/2015 16:10

YANBU.

Fuck that. She can get a hotel.

LaurieFairyCake · 20/03/2015 16:11

You should be dancing with joy and quietly smiling that she's in the huff

For gods sake don't change what you want just because she's all miffy

Original poster
Meechimoo · 20/03/2015 16:12

The garden isn't really big enough and it gets freezing at night!

OP posts:
WickedWax · 20/03/2015 16:12

Remember those 3 days of living hell and stay strong. YANBU.

cozietoesie · 20/03/2015 16:15

As DrownedReindeer said - Result!

Phineyj · 20/03/2015 16:19

YANBU

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/03/2015 16:33

"Anyway, now she's got the major hump ... and won't talk to me."
Sounds like a good result to me.

"We had them to stay a few years ago and it was very cramped, very chaotic and I swore never again."
So hold that thought! You've tried it, it didn't work, you don't want to do it again. YANBU.

ClockwiseCat · 20/03/2015 16:36

Enjoy the huff. It means you're not having to talk about it :o

Original poster
Meechimoo · 20/03/2015 16:40

Yep, I feel like a cow but am finding the sulky fit quite useful at the moment cos i don't especially fancy having an argument with her about it.

OP posts:
Bilberrycrumble · 20/03/2015 16:42

YANBU

Snowsquonk · 20/03/2015 16:43

Depends on the layout of the house - I can't get from upstairs to the kitchen without walking through my lounge so if anyone sleeps in the lounge if we have guests its me and guests get my room.

It's only two nights - you could say she can have the lounge but your six year old rises early and you tend to let her do her own thing so you can't guarantee that in the excitement of having Auntie, Uncle and Cousin to stay that she won't come galloping in at 6am and put the TV on full blast.....

BackforGood · 20/03/2015 16:46

Well, another example of where my world is so very different from MN Shock

I wouldn't dream of having a relative stay in a hotel, when they are arranging to come and see us for a couple of nights, and are perfectly aware they would be on airbeds. Surely you just all muck in ? Confused

We used to have 12 of us sleeping in our house, growing up, when my Mum's sister came to stay Grin

KittensOnAPlane · 20/03/2015 16:48

just a thought, can the kids sleep downstairs in the lounge? like an indoor camping party?

Original poster
Meechimoo · 20/03/2015 16:51

I don't know. The older I get the less inclined I am to do what others want and expect if I really don't enjoy it myself. And, not wanting to drip feed, but their 6 year old follows our 12 year old around like a shadow all the time and annoys the hell out of her, so it's not just unpleasant for me.

OP posts:
SoonToBeSix · 20/03/2015 16:54

How lovely that your dn looks up to their cousin. It's a shame it's not reciprocated.

lem73 · 20/03/2015 16:57

No YANBU. We've been thrown together with bil and sil at my ILs house several times and the experience has made me hate them! One night might be bearable but more than that I guarantee someone is going to fall out with someone!

Original poster
Meechimoo · 20/03/2015 17:03

Soon to be six, that's very noble.

But a whiney 6 year old nagging my moody preteen 24/7 doesn't fill me with joy.

OP posts:
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