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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Work colleagues left me out!

61 replies

Lagoonablue · 20/03/2015 09:40

Don't know how to react to this. Someone is leaving so colleagues all gone out to breakfast and haven't asked me! I am not strictly in their team but in an associated team but sit right next to them ! Plus someone else associate to them was asked! How mean is that?!

Feel really sad. Not sure how to react if I'm honest. Well she won't be getting the card and wine I bought for her.

OP posts:
cinders456 · 20/03/2015 09:43

That sucks. Its a horrible feeling when you're left out. Flowers

cinders456 · 20/03/2015 09:44

Can you plan something for later on to cheer yourself up?

WastingMyYoungYears · 20/03/2015 09:46

Yes, you could drink the wine later. Sorry you've been left out.

tobysmum77 · 20/03/2015 09:46

Why didn't you just go? Confused Aren't these things generally quite informal?

Original poster
Lagoonablue · 20/03/2015 10:03

No I didn't feel I could just go. It wasn't like that. I wouldn't do that to anyone. Am wondering if leaving person has never liked me and I haven't noticed.

I know it's pathetic of me but it is just a gut reaction. I will just move on but there is a bit of me that wants to ask why they left me out. To challenge them as a grown up adult and not sulk like schoolgirl which is what I'm doing.

OP posts:
woowoo22 · 20/03/2015 10:05

Give her the card and wine with a big smile. Will make them squirm and feel rotten. Idiots.

manicinsomniac · 20/03/2015 10:07

It's the kind of thing you feel petty and pathetic about voicing but which really hurts and makes you feel sick and tearful inside isn't it!

I really feel for you. That's the kind of thing you hope you leave behind with school and to have it happen in your workplace must really suck :(

Original poster
Lagoonablue · 20/03/2015 10:10

Thanks all. There are more things to worry about I know. Time to move on.

OP posts:
championnibbler · 20/03/2015 10:11

don't give her the wine or card.
they didn't think of you, so you'd be a fool to think of her.
i would just let this go, even though it was hurtful and thoughtless of your colleagues.

Original poster
Lagoonablue · 20/03/2015 10:15

You know I really want to ask......'was there a reason I wasn't invited to the breakfast today'? Don't think I have the courage though.

OP posts:
Rosieliveson · 20/03/2015 10:16

That sucks. It's really inconsiderate of them. I'd give the card as it's written now but drink the wine myself later.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 20/03/2015 10:17

Ask them. Are you sure it was deliberate? Maybe one thought the other had asked etc. If it was screw them. Drink the wine yourself.

ImperialBlether · 20/03/2015 10:17

Were there any managers there? If so, I think you should email one of them and ask them.

AlternativeTentacles · 20/03/2015 10:18

Leave the wine on your desk and when she comes to go say 'Is that for me?' and say 'No, it is for a friend'.

Griphook · 20/03/2015 10:18

If you ask she might say...didn't think...don't like you.... So it depends if it would make you feel better, personally is love to ask if it was me, but wouldn't.

It's shit though that they left you out. Nasty people

derxa · 20/03/2015 10:19

Agree with woowoo but don't invest any more of your emotional energy with these people. They're colleagues not friends. You sound absolutely lovely. They know you're lovely and would have wanted to go, I'll bet.
Just try to be pleasant even though it hurts. I know from hard experience that you have to draw the line between work and friendship.

Original poster
Lagoonablue · 20/03/2015 10:22

Thanks everyone. You've cheered me up.

OP posts:
Littleturkish · 20/03/2015 10:23

Still give the wine and card- could just be an oversight/misunderstanding.

It isn't the fault of the person who is leaving- I imagine she is so busy today she won't have noticed who is or isn't going.

MarshaBrady · 20/03/2015 10:24

Leave the wine and card on your desk and don't give it to her. Stuff em

PlumpingIsQuiteUpForThud · 20/03/2015 10:47

I'd still give them to her - you bought them for her, you clearly like her. She should be touched by the thought and hopefully a bit embarrassed by the earlier behaviour. At the very least she might learn from it, and you'll have the moral high ground from anyone's point of view.

Sorry you felt sad op Flowers

cinders456 · 20/03/2015 11:28

It's not pathetic of you at all. It hurts to feel rejected! It may be accidental but if it's not then stuff them!

WhatchaMaCalllit · 20/03/2015 11:33

Do ask them when they get back (or have they already returned from breakfast)?

Perhaps ask one of them that you get along with if there was a reason why you weren't invited to breakfast.

Sometimes a manager might make a decision to leave some staff behind so that they can continue working and provide cover for the others but I doubt that is what happened here as you weren't asked to stay behind either.

Ladyface · 20/03/2015 11:37

Did they say anything when they came back? (I take it they have come back and are not off for two hour breakfast!) I would give her the card and take the wine home!

Original poster
Lagoonablue · 20/03/2015 11:54

Yes they are back. No one said anything. Ah well, move on.

OP posts:
FromMeToYou · 20/03/2015 11:56

Well, you know where you stand now with all of them.