I moved to a new yard three weeks ago. It's very small, there's only me and a couple of other liveries. The yard owner is lovely and friendly and we get on well. One of the other liveries however is a NIGHTMARE. When I arrived she introduced herself literally in the first two minutes with "Hi, I'm X. I'm down here a lot, I'm lucky as I don't have to work. OUTSIDE the home." i.e. I'm no less important than those who do work. She has grown-up children. She seemed very nice and friendly.
But she has begun interfering in an unprecedented way. Constantly telling me what I need to do/get for my horse, nagging me about the farrier, the vet, telling me I can borrow her stuff then watching me like a hawk when I'm using it (yard tools and lack of space means mine can't be accommodated yet.) Every time I make a decision about my horse (in/out, which weight rug, how much water, etc. etc. she will question criticise it which leaves me feeling constantly undermined and unsure. I've owned horses for over 20 years and I damn well know what I'm doing but she treats me as though I just bought my first one last week.
At first I appreciated her help as you do in a new place, but now it's starting to be completely overwhelming. She comes across as very passive aggressive. She seems generous with her things but she's also very quick to snatch it back iyswim?! For example, if I ask to borrow, say, her broom she will say "No because I'm going to use it." In a very determined tone. If it were me I'd probably say "Oh, sorry, I'm about to use it - do you mind waiting a couple of minutes?" It's like she's trying to exert control.
She's a member of a horse awareness group and boy, don't we know it! She has not stopped pestering me to have rugs/tack/grooming kits all marked. Fwiw I have NEVER seen this kind of marking done before. But she doesn't ask and leave it there - she tells. She has also announced that I am not allowed to ride out without a fluorescent tabard. Clearly I do if there's a reason, but if it's bright and sunny I don't always. She told me "It's MY yard and safety starts here." It's not her yard..... She also dictated that I wasn't allowed to write on my hands because she's Jewish and it upsets her (concentration camp link I had NO idea about).
She's basically very bossy and controlling and it's driving me insane. I kept my horse in today because he's been a pain to catch the last couple of days and I've barely seen him as a consequence. So he's in to be cuddled and groomed and generally spoiled fed treats. He's fine to be in, it doesn't matter a jot, he's been in for weeks before with laminitis. But oh no, there were about twenty pointed remarks this morning and constant suggestions of "Have you thought about that small field? Or that small paddock? Or have you asked..." I'd already said why he was in. She made it abundantly clear that she disagreed with my decision. To the point where she was quite sulky. She managed to catch him last night after her horse was brought in (they're out together) and she texted me a photo of her and my horse then rang me and announced that he needs to be approached from the right hand side because that works to catch him. FFS! He's my horse! I know damn well how to catch him and if he's a mood then you cannot get near him. She struck lucky.
I'm now dreading going down to the yard because it feels like I can't do anything unless she's approved it because otherwise I'm just tense waiting for criticism! Can someone PLEASE advise me? WWYD in this situation?? I am seriously considering moving but I don't want to. Help!
Does anyone recognise this sort of character??