to just walk away from a brewing row on here, with a "fuck OFF"?

[BluebellBean]

Poster asks for advice re child in her dd's class who is struggling and can get violent. Posters advise. Of COURSE an "ADHD isn't real" poster comes along

I am too tired to bloody argue and try to explain and educate this idiot.

Feel a bit like I'm copping out but experience has shown that some fools will never learn

Did that incident actually happen Proudmummy? How did the school handle it? A mother can't "claim" that her child has ADHD without being diagnosed by professionals.

ADHD is a neurobiological disorder. It's not something that we came up with a few years ago to excuse poor parenting .

And I'm sorry that happened to your kid proud. When I was at school there was a boy with ADHD and he bullied me for years, but nothing was ever done because the school put it down to his ADHD. That was the school's fault for mishandling it though, not his. It was hard to see at the time though and I did blame him wholeheartedly but now I see what went wrong.

Proud I agree. Put them all in camps under lock and key. How dare they want to be treated like any other child.

Tit

DS was actually bullied by a child with ADHD. Properly bullied. Broken teeth. A&E visits.

That was the reason the school gave. ADHD.

I find that an awkward excuse. I spent my childhood with ADHD and never attacked anyone. I was quite and introverted.

I think ADHD has a bad name...

Yes it did happen, as a result my child is terrified of school. All I got was " we'll get into extra support for him" they've brought a trained assistant to sit with him during lessons and lunchtime. Meanwhile my DD is struggling with her reading and can we get extra support. Can we buggery! And this child does that to my little girl and gets first class treatment. Makes me so angry

Childhood with undiagnosed ADHD, that should say.

Was the 80s...

I can actually understand your anger proud, but I think it's misdirected. I hope your daughter gets the support she needs.

I can see why you're completely pissed off.

Don't blame you for ranting. You're upset.

Thank you King, this was my point I didn't mean to upset anyone! This is such a sore point for me at the moment

ADHD definitely existed 20 years ago. It definitely existed at least 33 years ago, because there was a boy with it in my class at infant school and I'm 38 now. He was allowed to fidget with a squeezy ball and that made it easier for him to concentrate. He also wasn't allowed orange squash or smarties. However, he wasn't allowed to behave BADLY (either by school or his parents), bad behaviour is entirely different, and I agree that sometimes people want a diagnosis of something like ADHD to explain their lack of parenting or discipline and to excuse their child's behaviour.

(DH is Aspie, he struggles LOTS with social situations and, even as an adult, gets fixated on ideas and thought patterns. However, he wasn't "indulged" as a child and is/was generally well behaved - unless he is triggered)

I'm glad it's more wildly known now.

I found school hard. Was an outcast, even at 5. Teachers made fun of me for forgetting things and not being able to pay attention. Glad children don't have to go through that now.

Children with ADHD can still be naughty, you can't just blame all of the bad on ADHD and ignore the behaviour. They still need discipline and to be taught how to behave. Just in a slightly different way to the rest of us.

The problem is when people do just use it as an excuse for lazy parenting or poor behaviour. Sometimes yes it's ADHD but sometimes it could have been avoided had the child with ADHD been taught how to deal with things in a different way. It gives it a bad name.

Your were out and out insulting about ADHD, proud, which blatantly had nothing at all to do with the thread in question.

Had you interjected with 'this is very difficult, dd was injured in a similar incident - please make sure the violent child is getting the support he needs to prevent something similar happening to your dd' you would have had all the empathy in the world. With bells on.

Instead, you interjected with a random snide about ADHD, which had not been mentioned at all. I get that you are angry about your dd, but being bloody rude about kids with issues isn't acceptable. And out of context, which just made you look like an arse.

Look at my post in the original thread

Perhaps proud could practice good parenting and do extra reading support with her daughter at home! Like myself and thousands of other parents who's kids struggle. Unless daughter has a diagnosed learning difficulty. She's unlikely to get extra support.

taught by whom needa? because nothing in the books works!! stepping stones PPP is infamously rare, so what do you do when the strategies commonly used don't work?? camhs- yes hes challenging, keep doing what your doing, no help offered, health visitors-basically aren't interested past the age of four, gps can only refer to other services eg paed/camhs, pfsa- some help but limited time and resources as shared between schools, can access other services but no one wants to "fund" any intervention.

Where exactly should one go for help, please tell if you know?!

my childs had difficulties from around 18 months....hes now entering teenage years, things are starting to escalate as we approach secondary.

interesting report here show camhs are in crisis here

Yes, ADHD didn't exist years ago. It's just been invented.

Children with behavioural issues are legally entitled to mainstream education.

Starting this thread was not a good idea. Do you really want to hear more of the same made up shit?

Hesitant to comment and I think proud has phrased it very clumsily. However I think it is a complex issue. ADHD exists of course, but does that mean one child's right to mainstream school trumps another child's right not to be frightened or assaulted at school?

It's not that simple. Mainstream schools may not have the resources to manage all children's needs safely.

There's an interesting debate to be had about the neurology of all kinds of personality traits - should we all just be tolerating each other's more extreme behaviours if there is a neurological link?

It's not about trumping and rights. It's not a child vs child thing. It's about managing a child's behaviours mainly for their own sake but with side effect that the impact on others is lessened.

Inclusion is a legal right. not a trump card.

So many crappy views on MN today. Some outright offensive others couched in pseudo scientific terms.

Am glad in laws will be with me soon all day so I won't be able to look at MN