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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

woman on my road had a go at me for my uncle using "her" disabled parking space

166 replies

sPJPPp · 18/03/2015 20:46

There is someone down my road with a disabled bay outside her house. Its on a public road and parking can be bad here. My uncle came to visit and he is a blue badge holder so seeing as this was the only spot nearby parked there. Just after he left said woman banged on my door and started shouting at me for using her parking space that the council gave to her.

Is this parking space exclusively hers? Aibu to think if not my disabled uncle is fine parking there?

OP posts:
BigamusButticus · 19/03/2015 10:51

But how do you know she had the space commissioned? It could have been a previous occupier. Sorry but if I were a blue badge holder and there was a space that meant I could park a few houses a way rather than a few streets aways id use it.

Like I said, you are told from the get go when you request one anyone can use it

jonicomelately · 19/03/2015 10:52

Fgs. Two people are 'entitled' to park in a disabled bay, legally and morally. One of them doesn't need to at a particular moment because she's off doing something else. Man who does need it as he's visiting a family member parks in that spot.
If that makes somebody feel despair they seriously need to get some perspective Grin

BigamusButticus · 19/03/2015 10:53

Also they're not enforceable unless they have a sign next to them. So literally anyone could park there really

Bearsinmotion · 19/03/2015 11:38

I think a blue badge holder with any empathy would try and avoid using a residential blue badge space if possible. If the space outside my house (which has a sign and is enforceable) is in use, unless there is a standard space very nearby, I could end up stuck in the car with my toddler and new baby. It happened when I was heavily pregnant and I had to call a neighbour to walk my toddler home. I would assume my using another residential space could cause a similar level of distress for another resident.

Oh, and about the level of despair - yes, if I had to worry every day that whenever I went out i knew I had little chance of being able to park within my (limited) walking distance,,couldn't risk picking my kids up from nursery, going shopping by myself etc, I don't think despair is too strong.

So, I wouldn't complain as legally it is not my space. I would hope however that other badge holders would be a bit more considerate.

Bearsinmotion · 19/03/2015 11:40

Also they're not enforceable unless they have a sign next to them. So literally anyone could park there really

True. But you'd have to be a bit of a twat to do that.

GraysAnalogy · 19/03/2015 11:43

It's just consideration for other people. I live next door to a woman with young children and she has a mahoosive buggy she has to lug out of the car, Parking is very tight here and sometimes the front of her house is the only free space. I am perfectly entitled to park there but I don't, because I'm not going to make her life harder than it needs be and I still see that as 'her' spot even if legally it isn't.

jonicomelately · 19/03/2015 11:57

Well I suppose it's a question of what makes you feel 'despair' then.
We've (DH and I) have been in similarly difficult situations lots of times when out and about. He has had a leg amputated and the other one is in a bad way too so walking has been really hard to say the least. Plus he's over 6 feet talk and 17 stone. We have dc too so I've lugged buggies, prams, wheelchairs in and out of cats over the years. It is incredibly hard. I honestly know how hard it is and I have felt despair, but in this context I don't think the uncle is the selfish bastard he's being made out to be. He obviously has needs too otherwise he wouldn't have had a badge issued to him. That being the case I think on seeing his car I'd have shrugged rather than go banging on someone's door, especially as the OP had nothing to do with where her uncle parked.

Superexcited · 19/03/2015 12:15

as the OP had nothing to do with where her uncle parked.

She could have told her uncle to move his car or offered to move it for him. If I have visitors and feel they have parked Inconsiderately I ask them to move their cars. However, seeing as OP is more concerned about her neighbour sometimes being in Spain and not always using the space I don't think she really cares if the neighbour was inconvenienced.

OwlCapone · 19/03/2015 12:16

I think a blue badge holder with any empathy would try and avoid using a residential blue badge space if possible.

Where is the empathy for the other blue badge holder?

Superexcited · 19/03/2015 12:33

Where is the empathy for the other blue badge holder?

Outside their home where they have a disabled bay which they applied for and fought hard to get so that they can access their own home.

Viviennemary · 19/03/2015 12:35

I'd phone the Council and ask them to write to you and her to confirm the use of the space. And then there will be no arguments. Hopefully!

GraysAnalogy · 19/03/2015 12:42

It would be easier if the council allocated it purely to her. She needs it, she asked for it, so it seems stupid to have it as a space for all blue badge holders.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 19/03/2015 12:50

Legally, it depends on the council whether or not your uncle should have parked there. Different rules apply in different areas.

My DF had a disabled parking space behind his house. It was for his use only. However you would have had to read the sign at the start of the road (about permits) and then understood that the disabled space was also covered by the permits scheme, and for a specific permit holder. Everyone knew it was his space. No-one ever parked in it.

Icimoi · 19/03/2015 14:23

Fgs. Two people are 'entitled' to park in a disabled bay, legally and morally. One of them doesn't need to at a particular moment because she's off doing something else.

Clearly that wasn't the case, given that she came back and was upset to find the space being used. How difficult is it to work out that the disabled houseowner may well come back at any moment? And why does the person who didn't go to all the trouble of arranging the disabled parking space have the same moral right to it as the person who did?

Where is the empathy for the other blue badge holder?

In this case the "other" blue badge holder has chosen to drive somewhere where he doesn't know that there will be a disabled bay available for him. He has presumably therefore factored that into his plans and has decided that there are other means of dealing with his needs. He has apparently decided to ditch those plans in favour of taking another disabled person's space and potentially causing them massive problems. I'm not sure that he needs too much empathy.

ilovesooty · 19/03/2015 14:28

I think Icimoi is right.
If the man or the OP had an ounce of consideration they would have asked the woman beforehand whether it would inconvenience her to use the space or the OP would have moved her car to accommodate her uncle. Whether he could "legally" use the space is in my opinion neither here nor there.

Strawberyshortcake · 19/03/2015 14:48

I'm pretty certain the space can be used by any blue badge holder, though I do know it seems to cause parking wars if anyone other than the person who asked for the bay parks in it. :(

jonicomelately · 19/03/2015 15:24

Good grief icimoi What's your problem? The space was unoccupied when another disabled person needed it. The much maligned uncle parked in a disabled spot. He didn't take a dump on her doorstep Grin

Strokethefurrywall · 19/03/2015 16:03

Arf at Joni

MerryMarigold · 19/03/2015 16:04

or the OP would have moved her car to accommodate her uncle.

Not if she lived on our road. She'd be lucky to have her own car within 400m.

WayfaringStranger · 19/03/2015 18:32

"Outside their home where they have a disabled bay which they applied for and fought hard to get so that they can access their own home."

Yes and according to most on this thread, only their home or carparks. You can go feck yourself if you want to be able to access another person's residential property. Tough shit.

Also, now everyone fights hard to get a space. I did and I still am. My neighbour got it easily but because of some shitty rule, not only is it really difficult to access other peoples' homes but my own too. :(

This thread has made me feel really shit. MNers are usually more aware of the difficulties disabled people face in all areas of their lives, not just accessing their own homes!

PerpendicularVincenzo · 19/03/2015 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ubik1 · 19/03/2015 19:48

In this case the "other" blue badge holder has chosen to drive somewhere where he doesn't know that there will be a disabled bay available for him.

I'm sorry but are you seriously suggesting that someone with a disability going about their daily business shouldn't park in a disabled bay in case it inconveniences someone else who has a disability?

And therefore that person with a disability should instead park somewhere else and suck it up because they have decided to step outside their front door?

Original poster
sPJPPp · 19/03/2015 19:57

In this case the "other" blue badge holder has chosen to drive somewhere where he doesn't know that there will be a disabled bay available for him. He has presumably therefore factored that into his plans and has decided that there are other means of dealing with his needs.

So a disabled person only has use of a disabled bay near their home and if they dare leave their own home they forfeit any rights to an other disabled spot? So basically only ever park at home.

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 19/03/2015 19:59

Unless he planned to park in that space, he presumably would have had an alternative parking arrangement in mind?

You're talking about the woman in question as though she is just another random person in the street, she isn't. She's the reason why the parking space is there in the first place. In front of her home. So she can enter it safely. There's very little point of her going through the motions if she's not going to be able to use it.

The council should have made it private, thats their failing, however they haven't so this lady relies on the morals of other people to save that space for her so she can get into her home.

If I saw a single disabled space in front of a home I would immediately assume it was because they had a great need for it. Blue badge holder or not I wouldn't park there.