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Original poster

Upset about my autism [title edited by MNHQ]

65 replies

ASFreak · 18/03/2015 12:13

I'm sat crying "Why was I born like this???"

Its nearly all the time people dislike you, are aggressive, ridicule, control, manipulate and abuse.

Why? Because I cant read the signs, people can tell I'm different and I'm not able to defend myself.

Why are we sent here like sitting ducks for the 99 out of 100 to hurt? Why?

OP posts:
UsuallyLurking1 · 18/03/2015 12:17

The point is everyone is different and the world is still a better place for it. I can't comprehend how tough it must be at times, but I guarantee there are people around you that know what the point of you is and appreciate you hugely!

Its not 99/100 too, there's lots of us that understand. It's just the idiots that make you feel bad are louder.

LadyOrangutan · 18/03/2015 12:17

I'm so sorry that you have been made to feel that way.
You are not, as your name says, a freak.

Some people are assholes. I'm sorry that you have encountered so many

KittensOnAPlane · 18/03/2015 12:18

i dont know the answers to any of that, but i do know that you are not meant to be treated so badly by other human beings! Some people are just twats, (i mean those being horrible to you)

I'm not saying you can act like a shit, and blame asd for it, and you should try to work out what people mean (try being the word here) but anyone who wont give you some help and understanding is not worth your time!

hope things get better for your OP, have some Cake & Flowers

Samcro · 18/03/2015 12:19

sorry but your thread title is awful
but thats the point isn't i.

PrincessSmartipants · 18/03/2015 12:19

I think your question really should be "what's the point of horrible people?"

And I don't know the answer but I wish I could give you a hug.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 18/03/2015 12:21

There's as much 'point' to autistic people as there is to anyone else. Just because the world isn't very good at accommodating your needs right now, doesn't mean you're pointless. It just means you're surrounded by asshats.

I'm really sorry that's happening to you, but it's not your fault - it's the asshats!

(And our society's for prizing socially capable extroverts above all other personality types.)

Tell us what you need from us. Do you want to vent, do you want support, or do you want some hand holding?

kissedbyamoonbeammyarse · 18/03/2015 12:21
Flowers I would think people don't dislike you. They don't understand maybe? They are maybe trying to take their cues from you? Or unaware that you are autistic? I am sorry you are struggling.
attheendoftheday · 18/03/2015 12:22

What is the point of people? I've never been able to work it out. I still want to live, to enjoy my life.

I'm sorry you've had a bad experience, but I think your thread title is unnecessarily offensive.

TheJiminyConjecture · 18/03/2015 12:23

The people who dislike you because you have Asd, are the people who dislike you if you didn't. Some people are horrible.

The problem is that the horrible ones are louder and make themselves known, that's why you notice them.

KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon · 18/03/2015 12:25

Totally with you.

I have ASD. Can't read signs, have to ask if people are joking, etc.

It's difficult.

I've gradually become more and more hermit like. Only DP really gets me.

KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon · 18/03/2015 12:30

That said, I can see that I'm awkward to be around and don't blame anyone for avoiding me.

I ditched SiL because she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I can't bear to be around her weird behaviour.

So I'm no better than the peeps who can't be around me.

Queenmarigold · 18/03/2015 12:31

I'm so sorry. I can only suggest that people just don't understand. Ar eyou able to communicate your difficulties very quickly eg I'm autistic and that means I can't interpret the meaning of signs - please can you help me?
Or something similar? I have to say I think most people with visible dificulties tend to get help when they request it but invisible ones are harder :-(

Snozberry · 18/03/2015 12:35

What’s the point of bullies? What do they achieve by hurting someone for no reason at all?

It is SO not your fault, or the fault of your disorder. It is the fact that some people are such pathetic, weasly little nobbers that they feel the need to hurt others who are different to them.

theboatisleaking · 18/03/2015 12:38

I'm sorry you feel like that. I don't think ppl actually hate you... they probably don't understand you, and take offence when you misread signs.

One of my close friends is autistic. He is very intelligent, has a high-flying job, but he frequently misreads social situations. Eg he walks into our bedroom in middle of night to use our ensuite because it's 'closer than the family bathroom'. He once did a strip-tease at a party and ended up fully naked (refusing to stop because he thought he was being entertaining). He has told ppl to their face 'you look old' and 'you've put on lots of weight'. He often talks over people and ignores people if he doesn't find them interesting. People often think he is being rude on purpose. But as his close friends we love him unconditionally and support him as much as possible. He has about 30 close friends who adore him. We tell him when his behaviour is socially unacceptable. He tries to learn social rules and if he doesn't understand a rule he asks us. He is a very sweet, kind, wondeful person but it takes new people a while to understand him. Don't give up!

TheMoa · 18/03/2015 12:41

There are plenty of autistic people who do just fine.

A relatively high proportion of people in my workplace have Aspergers/autism, and are by necessity of the job, very clever.

Most have partners, families, friends etc.

Most are nice, some are horrid, some are dull, some are geeky. People relate to them accordingly.

The people they count as friends are people who 'get them', same as for anyone.

I don't take any notice of people who treat me badly (and there are plenty of shitty people around) nor should anyone else.

I don't think it's an autistic thing, any more than it might be a 'person with depression/personality disorder/unique outlook/insert other trait' thing.

People will act on what they find in you, and not everyone will get it, or make allowances. On the other hand, not everyone will make it an issue either.

samithesausage · 18/03/2015 12:44

I Hear you. I've got aspergers. Not too good at socialising. If I get excited I get LOUD. I am a bit better at reading signs now, but it really is down to armchair psychology rather than "natural interpretation". I don't socialise apart from with DP.
Two of my boys have autism as well, one is fairly popular and into minecraft, the other is rubbish at social ques, and I witnessed him bounding up to another boy to say hello and the other boy knee'd him in the balls and ran away with his group. I was saddenned. :( I'm reading books like mad to try to help him socialise.

MephistophelesApprentice · 18/03/2015 12:51

Personally, I think the world needs a hell of a lot more rationality and to abandon most of it's more emotional, instinctive and primitive ingrained behaviours.

We're here to provide that. Sadly, those who suffer the most under the burdens of their evolutionary past are those least equipped to recognise the need to relinquish them; They are the inadequate ones, not you.

notsolovely · 18/03/2015 12:55

Unfortunately some people are arse holes. I assure you it is not everyone though. These nasty people generally like few people and will use any excuse to treat someone like shit. It makes you feel like shit, even when you know this. I can't imagine how difficult it must be.

Redoubtable · 18/03/2015 13:15

Assuming that this is for real....

I'm sat crying "Why was I born like this?
The world needs people exactly like you. People with ASD are (IME) exceptionally sensitive to other people, the enviroment, animals etc
They also use thinking patterns that are not mainstream.
Good at noticing patterns and remembering detail.

Great if you live in a small tribe wandering across Siberia at the end of the IceAge. You are probably why humanity has survived across the millenia and why we are so adaptive.

Its nearly all the time people dislike you, are aggressive, ridicule, control, manipulate and abuse
This may be what you hear ALL of the time, but it is not what ALL of the people think.
Lovely phrase...."you only hear the boos from the cheap seats". That is to say, that the silent majority of people are supportive and understanding. Ignore the small minority who aren't (easier said than done but practice).

people can tell I'm different and I'm not able to defend myself You dont have to defend yourself. Step away and dont give them space in your life or head.

RizzoWasTheBestOne · 18/03/2015 13:34

Don't make the mistake of thinking that there is a whole parallel universe of NT people who all totally get each other and for whom life is one big social jolly.

I'm NT but I often meet people I don't 'get' and who don't 'get' me. I've also encountered people who have tried to bully, manipulate and control me. Some have been more successful than others.

If you're experiencing discrimination because of your autism then that is shit and wrong and I am sorry you have to deal with that.

But don't discount the fact that there really are all sorts of people out there and humans are very complex and difficult to figure out even when you're NT.

What I'm trying to say in a long winded way is don't be so harsh on yourself. You're as equal a valid a member of the human race as anyone else.

hedgehogsdontbite · 18/03/2015 13:40

I think it's very easy for people without autism to minimise the feelings of autistic people like the OP. 'Not everyone thinks like that' 'They're just arseholes' 'Stay away from people like that' 'Find nicer friends' etc. But what the OP is describing is the day to day reality for autistic people.

I have my DH (autistic), DD (autistic) and DS. That's it. Nobody else has ever been the least bit interested in me. Ever. Even my own mum only rings me once ever 6 months and then can't get off the phone fast enough. It's heartbreaking.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 18/03/2015 13:43

*MephistophelesApprentice

Personally, I think the world needs a hell of a lot more rationality and to abandon most of it's more emotional, instinctive and primitive ingrained behaviours.

We're here to provide that*

Hmm my DD has autism and is very instinctive and primitive.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 18/03/2015 13:44

These debates always discuss people with AS and HFA.

Anyway I suppose this is more relevant to OP. Op I am really sorry you feel like that. I think awareness is slowly increasing but has a way to go.

Redoubtable · 18/03/2015 13:48

Hedgehogs I'm sorry that it came across like that.
It was not my intention to minimise your feelings. It sounds very lonely...

I have a DS on the spectrum and a DD who may be.

I have had to teach them how to do boundaries and to listen very carefully to what people say and to what they do. It's like DC need additional emotional coaching, just like some people need additional reading or maths.

That's where I come from with this.

Original poster
ASFreak · 18/03/2015 14:20

Awesome thread title edited....

/We Do Not Exist
/Experience invalid
/Shut up

OP posts: