Upset about my autism [title edited by MNHQ]

[ASFreak]

I'm sat crying "Why was I born like this???"

Its nearly all the time people dislike you, are aggressive, ridicule, control, manipulate and abuse.

Why? Because I cant read the signs, people can tell I'm different and I'm not able to defend myself.

Why are we sent here like sitting ducks for the 99 out of 100 to hurt? Why?

Thanks for the helpful replies.
Im just going hide this now and go look for a desert island.

Yours isn't the only valid viewpoint of living with/having autism OP.

Not everyone has such a hard time of it.

Your thread title wouldn't have needed editing if you'd made it less goady.

Some DC can be emotionally coached. Depends where they are on spectrum and if they have a learning disability.

It wasn't Goady. That would imply intent. It was reflective of OPs lack of self esteem.

"Yours isn't the only valid viewpoint"

why say that?! On a support thread.

I didn't see your original thread title but I'm sorry you feel shouted down.

FWIW, I don't agree with censorship and thread editing/deletion.

You may be better off to talk to people in real life if that's an option? It's easy to be misunderstood over the internet.

What was the original thread title?

Yours isn't the only valid viewpoint of living with/having autism OP.

Who said it was? I think the OP may be upset about the thread title being edited because they feel like their viewpoint of living with autism is being made out to be invalid.

I often feel like a freak because of my autism. My feelings are just as valid as anyone else's, even if they might feel goady to some people.

Not everyone has such a hard time of it.

But plenty of people do. That doesn't make it wrong.

People are ignorant that is all.

They don't realise that logical people can feel things very, very deeply!

I've lived my whole life feeling different, on the outside looking in, I appear unemotional but I have to detach as I feel things (other peoples feelings too) so deeply.

I can make and get a joke but It will often be inappropriate but a small group of friends gets me and thinks it's just me! And love me. A small small group of trusted (older) friends

I agree thinking rationally and logically is a wonderful skill but the emotion and feelings, I think sometimes you can be SO instinctive life can be extremely painful!!!!!! You work people out straight away it's not an asset

But the OP is using language that suggests her experience is universal.

Suggesting that those with autism are a useless burden, and I think the original title was 'what's the point of autistic people?'.

Well fuck that. It isn't my experience, and if the OP wanted to talk about her personal day to day experience, there are more acceptable ways to express that.

That's not the best title I admit.

I hate the fact that autistic people have to be coached to pretend to be something they're not in order to be accepted. It's exhausting and leads to breakdown/burnout.

Perhaps the ASD is making it hard for you to understand people's supportive intent in the responses op? Perhaps the ASD is making hard for you to understand that the people on the thread are probably just like the thousands of others that would be supportive in RL IF you let them be.

Refusing to interact with people who are trying to help is possibly why you feel that everyone is awful to you?

You say you can't read the signs.

You aren't reading them here either.

People are being supportive, and you are flouncing.

No one can help anyone like that.

You need to stop responding immediately and look for other possible meanings. Start with this thread. Go back over it again and do the detective thing and look carefully at what other people have said. If you don't understand, ask.

The editing is an interesting point. I don't know what your title was, but I imagine it was edited because the vast majority of NT people found it offensive - NOT because your viewpoint is invalid. They probably found it offensive to people with ASD? So the editing was to get you to rethink how you are portraying people with ASD in a negative way.

Maybe you need to start with reading some of the more positive books written by people with ASD, and promoting yourself, rather than negativity?

Your feelings are not invalid, and as a rant and let off steam, that's all good. But the fact is, if YOU feel negatively, it's hard for people to do other than reflect negativity back at you.

Rethink the editing, and ask why people found it offensive. It might help. It's not about you, it's about them (which is the tone of other replies on this thread).

Helpful, even though hurtful, in terms of understanding.

Okay, not the best title but I would have thought people could cut some slack to someone obviously very upset who, as she says herself, finds it difficult for understand and follow generally accepted social cues.

After all, judging by the content of the rest of the thread, the question was asked in a philosophical, almost religious kind of way - ie, why does God/higher power/the universe allow people to be born with autism. In which case, you could, with equal validity, post 'what's the point in people?' without any intended (or, I would have thought, resultant) offence.

Or post on here and ask other people with ASD how they feel? How they cope? What things have they found helpful?

People with ASD have just as many facets as NT people. There are a good Schwann of folk I don't gel with. Including some NT folk - there's also an NT guy I work with and we are constantly misunderstanding each other to the extent that it is almost as though we speak two different languages (we don't). I've worked with him for two years now, and now we just laugh at each other because we are so very very different. Our conversation is littered with 'what? I don't understand... Do you mean....? No? Help. What?'

We recognise we are different, but there is no negativity. Just bafflement, mostly. We get along okay.

Well fuck that. It isn't my experience, and if the OP wanted to talk about her personal day to day experience, there are more acceptable ways to express that.

So someone with a disability which affects their ability to communicate is struggling with the fact that they can't communicate in the 'right way' and you response is to reprimand them for not communicating this in the right way. Well that's ... helpful

I have AS and I didn't find the original title offensive. It's a question I have often asked myself. I think it's fine coming from autistic person struggling with their disability. Very different if it had come from a NT person struggling with the 'weirdo' next door.

Hi OP,
It's hard. It feels unfair. Imo, there's nothing wrong with AS people. You just operate differently and we don't get you any more than you get us. Only we're the majority so the world works in our favour not yours.

I found out the other day that DS2 is AS. That makes everyone in my immediate family: my dad, my mum, DS1, DH and DS2 AS except me, so I'm used to being in the minority the other way round. Which is equally hard except... I realised I really like AS people, often far more than NT people.

Not just family but also two of my closest friends are AS. I enjoy AS company because of the intelligence, the honesty, the directness, the wit. Lots of things. Sometimes I find being around NT people quite dull. I love the way my AS friends and family launch straight into quite deep subjects with real knowledge and passion.

Is there a branch of AS society near you? Our local one is very sociable. Could be a good place to meet people who do get you, you don't find you odd. There's nothing inherently wrong with AS brain wiring. It's rarer, that's all.

I'm NT and my DS has AS. I didn't find the thread title offensive in the least. In fact, my DS quite often wonders 'what the point of him is'.

There's a lot of NT filtering going on wrt to the title imo. It's not goady clickbait, it's the OP's lived experience. And editing it has made her feel unheard and that her experience is invalid. So that's been helpful, hasn't it

It will change one day OP, when we realise autism is a perfectly normal way of being, our skills will be prized by employers and we can access alternative learning systems. Unfortunately, I'll be dead by the time that happens, but if my children and their children can benefit then I'll be happy. In the meantime, try to find others on the AS spectrum to be friends with and use your special interests to make friends (I am heavily involved with the local music scene) In terms of work, I have no advice, I do not have the attributes to succeed in an NT working environment (which seems to be more about manipulating the right people than being good at your job). Perhaps not true in all workplaces, but certainly in my ex-industry

Totally agree Lonny.

It will change one day OP, when we realise autism is a perfectly normal way of being, our skills will be prized by employers

It's starting to happen.

I agree with hedgehog. It is exhausting always having to monitor how you behave, and having to pretend to react I certain ways to placate other people. This thread, started by someone with AS who is having a hard time, should be just the place where the OP doesn't have to do that. And if we're so good at reading emotions, we should be able to support without judgement.

I'm NT and live with with DH and DC all with AS and I find I bloody exhausting being in the minority with them. But there are replies on here that clearly show NT people aren't more sensitive or able to gauge what the other person needs from a conversation.

Fully agree, i find it funny in threads being told a phase i use about myself is offensive, and that I can't use it "I am Autistic", yes I am I am also Tall, and currently overweight, and brown haired. these statements do not define the whole me, just list a single aspect.