Upset about my autism [title edited by MNHQ]

[ASFreak]

I'm sat crying "Why was I born like this???"

Its nearly all the time people dislike you, are aggressive, ridicule, control, manipulate and abuse.

Why? Because I cant read the signs, people can tell I'm different and I'm not able to defend myself.

Why are we sent here like sitting ducks for the 99 out of 100 to hurt? Why?

hedgehogs Your post at 14.51 said exactly what I wanted to say but much more eloquently. Thank you.

I hope the OP is still reading and getting some support from the more helpful posts.

Funnily enough geeky and devil I was just thinking that today. Hoping that DC won't have as a hard a time of it as DH has in the workplace because the shift in what we need and value from the workforce is leaning more towards the skills on the autistic spectrum. Apparently AS people are in the majority in Silicon Valley. And at DC's school, which is very academic, almost 30% are 'diagnosed' AS. Really, it's time it was seen as a character type not a defect.

sorry not at all relevant, but as the op has left, thought it didn't really matter.

My DD is non verbal and can't read or write. It is minimising the effects of autism to call it just extra special skills.

Fanjo - you're right that it's focused on HFA/Aspergers on this discussion. Autism has such a wide spectrum, I think it's actually useful to distinguish between it and Aspergers though the difference has just been dropped from NHS diagnostics, according to the paed who diagnosed DS2. Must admit I tend to think of HFA when I talk about autism, as that's what I've come into contact with constantly.

yes I do find most research and discussion centres on HFA/AS. I was surprised AS was dropped as a separate classification as it seems very different from classic autism to me.

I was surprised AS was dropped as a separate classification

I thought that was just in the US? The UK still has it, I think.

I am autistic. My diagnosis is Aspergers but I don't think there is a definite dividing line and Aspergers is a form of autism.

There is no easy, one size fits all answer to living with it. People can't help and support you if they don't know about it and may need to be reminded that it is an issue or you find certain things difficult.

Life is too short to waste on people who will pick on you for being different. Ask someone you trust to help you come up with responses for such situations.

You may like to find out if there is a support group in your area for adults on the spectrum. I go along to a local one and talking (not always about Aspergers) to people who've had either similar experiences (or very different experiences of the same condition) can be very useful.

You may find this hard to believe but you are not a freak. We are all different but you just happen to have a more unusual difference. Bill Gates has Aspergers as, almost certainly, did Albert Einstein and Isacc Newton - where would we be without their minds.

PM me if you wish.

Fanjo - I heard that it varies from one part of the country to another and some professionals may be more likely to take autism seriously than Aspergers.

I know several people with Aspergers and they are affected in different ways so could see the line between the two being blurred.

Toads the paediatrician who diagnosed DS last week said that from last year, the separate Asperger's diagnosis had been dropped and that it was all classified as somewhere along the spectrum. She was very forceful about it and corrected the SEN at school for using the term Aspergers.

I sort of understand the change, but as Fanjo says, it leads to some very blurred generalisations. People with Aspergers have a far better chance of getting good exam grades, going to uni, marrying, having a family, holding down work than those with severer forms of autism. There are a lot of social problems that arise from it being more invisible, but overall the needs of those with Aspergers and those with more autistic traits seem very different to me, so it was a useful distinction.

I'm so sorry you feel this way OP. It's tough that's for sure. I watch my 15yo dd struggling every day, she has AS too.

Sadly, I can easily imagine her feeling like you do one day. I am doing my best to shore up her self esteem.

Have you seen the thread on here for women on the spectrum? I read it to get some perspective on what dd is going through and it's very supportive.

OP

I feel I must have misread your intention....I did not intend to come across as dismissive of your experience or feelings. I apologise and would like to hear more of how it is for you.
I thought that my experience of AS made me somewhat competent to offer advice but I was wrong.

I can understand that you want to step away from the thread, but if you feel up to returning, I will attempt to hear you better. Sorry

For people who are interested the only diagnostic differences between classic autism and Asperger's are:

1. IQ. Aspergers must have an IQ above 70. Classic autism can have any IQ. Classic autism with an IQ above 70 is often referred to as High Functioning Autism but this has never been an official term.

2. Language development. Delayed language = classic autism. No delay = Aspergers.

Any other perceived differences are in the eyes of the beholder and not clinical. The reason for the removal of the Asperger's tag is the realisation that those 2 things can't be properly measured. For example how do you measure the IQ of someone you can't communicate with?

Also, the Asperger's diagnosis has been removed from the DSM only. It has not been removed from the WHO's International Classification of Diseases. ICD is the official classification system in UK which should be used by professionals in the NHS.

The pead said to us that a HFA/Asperger's dx can be unhelpful as sometimes people think that means people are basically OK but a bit shit at eye contact and manners. Whereas actually everyone with a Asperger's/ASD dx is somewhere on the spectrum with different strengths and weaknesses.

Certainly my DS is extremely similar to lots of his peers with Asperger's, but had a language delay so wouldn't have got that dx.

I don't think that takes away from that fact that some people with the same dx as my DS will have significantly more difficulties, as Fanjo rightly points out. I hope not anyway.