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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to this

57 replies

FlabbyMummy · 16/03/2015 22:07

We have a 29 month old DS. Tonight DH suggests we get a babysitter on Sunday to allow us to go to the pub to watch football. Something we did quite a lot before having DS.

The game kicks off at 1230 so would need to go out at 12. I don't like the idea of going drinking so early then going home to an exuberant toddler. He says we would only have a couple but still it's lunch time! If we were going out for a nice lunch it would feel more normal but it just sits badly with me and I said no. We can go and I don't drink but then I may as well watch it at home (as I planned on doing).

If the kick off had been evening I would have considered getting a babysitter (local Nanny) to give DS tea and put to bed but not during the day.

No family nearby, babysitting options are fully qualified childcare people who my DS knows and likes.

What do you lovely lot think of this?

OP posts:
cariadlet · 16/03/2015 22:09

YANBU - totally agree with everything you posted.

PrimalLass · 16/03/2015 22:10

I think you are mad. Just go and enjoy it - you don't have to egg steaming.

ARoomWithoutAView · 16/03/2015 22:10

100% agree. Doesn't feel right.

PrimalLass · 16/03/2015 22:10

egg? get steaming

Primafacie · 16/03/2015 22:11

Well it's up to you. Personally I'm baffled that you can't go to the pub for an afternoon away from your 2 and a half year old child. But to each their own.

youngestisapyscho · 16/03/2015 22:12

Could you not have a nice lunch in the pub whilst watching the football? Maybe your DH thought it would be nice to have a few hours together doing something you both enjoy. You don't need to get pissed!

HeartShapedBox · 16/03/2015 22:12

If you don't feel comfortable with it, then that's fine, it's your choice to make.

I wouldn't have a problem with it, as long as you aren't pissed on return then I don't see an issue.

Primafacie · 16/03/2015 22:13

Oh cool, I agree with my namesake! Don't think we've been on same threads before :)

hmc · 16/03/2015 22:13

Why not just go and not drink? You could have a pub lunch at the same time and enjoy the atmosphere. Wouldn't it be nice to do something together without your toddler?

BathtimeFunkster · 16/03/2015 22:14

Going out and being child free in the daytime is the most luxurious thing.

In a million years I wouldn't spend such precious time watching the most boring game known to humanity, but it sounds like you enjoy it Wink

That said, if it feels wrong to you, there's no point.

But with a decent, trustworthy babysitter, a couple of hours off in the afternoon to be your old selves could be amazing. :)

Maybe83 · 16/03/2015 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrincessOfChina · 16/03/2015 22:15

I would go. And I'd have a few pints. Not sure why you would be happy to do so in the evening but not at lunchtime.

DamselNotInHerDress · 16/03/2015 22:15

Same as Prima. You are partners as well as parents. No one says you need to get wasted, it's a few beers and watching the game.
I love doing things with just Dp from time to time, we don't do it often as we have 3dc which is a lot to ask of people, but we both have a great time when we do.

Original poster
FlabbyMummy · 16/03/2015 22:15

There won't be a pub nearby serving nice food at the same time as the football so lunch and game is not an option.

OP posts:
hmc · 16/03/2015 22:17

Just realised that I posted pretty much what youngestisapsycho wrote - disclaimer - I didn't see your post first youngest

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 16/03/2015 22:19

I'd go. I wish we'd paid more attention to our relationship when the kids were younger but we kind of drifted apart. In hindsight it is possible to be a wife/partner and a parent but I placed lots of empathise on my role as a mum and not quite enough on my relationship. It's doesn't seem like you are out, living it up every weekend so what's the harm in an afternoon date with your husband?

BlueBananas · 16/03/2015 22:19

How odd! Why can't you just go an have a pint? A pint in the pub on a Sunday afternoon is one of life's loveliest pleasures! Or have a coke and just enjoy being out with a grown up?
Your toddler won't spontaneously combust if you enjoy yourself without him - promise!

KKCupCake · 16/03/2015 22:19

If you go you may feel too tense to enjoy what should be a lovely coupley experience. Perhaps try as you say an evening out and work up from there. Good luck x

Original poster
FlabbyMummy · 16/03/2015 22:20

In the evening we would get home once DS is in bed, he normally sleeps through. I normally get a pint of water and go to bed, turn monitor on and normally sleep til 730-8am. 99% of the time it's me who would get up with DS in morning if we have been out.

In this case I would have to entertain toddler, cook dinner and do bed time when back from pub, that's the bit that doesn't feel right tbh.

OP posts:
Icimoi · 16/03/2015 22:20

If your DH has suggested it, it's because he'd like to do something with you that you both enjoy, and because he values spending some time with you without the distraction of a toddler. I wouldn't want to throw that back in his face if I were in your shoes.

Original poster
FlabbyMummy · 16/03/2015 22:22

We do go out frequently, (he goes out a lot without me too) hence knowing babysitters. It's the going out for a football Sunday session that doesn't sit right.

OP posts:
youngestisapyscho · 16/03/2015 22:23

Get a takeaway.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 16/03/2015 22:23

Can't he chip in and do his share when you get back?

crymeariverwoo · 16/03/2015 22:23

I think I would go. You should spend time together without your DS too. but if you don't think you will enjoy then don't go.
as a side note... yabu for referring to your son as 29 months.... He is 2!

BathtimeFunkster · 16/03/2015 22:25

In this case I would have to entertain toddler, cook dinner and do bed time when back from pub

Surely not?

If there are two of you there, why would anybody be entertaining a toddler while cooking dinner?

Doing dinner and bedtime for one two year old between two people is not a big deal.

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