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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think DH should cook me dinner?

61 replies

mrsp2311 · 16/03/2015 21:14

I'm not talking EVERY night. But once in a blue moon would be nice! We both work full time. DH leaves before I do on a morning but gets home earlier on an evening.
By the time I get home it is time for DSs bath and bed time routine so I usually don't start preparing dinner until 7:30-8pm.
I would love it if every once in a while DH would tell me to put my feet up and cook dinner for me.

I've tried batch cooking so all he would have to do is heat up something like a chilli and pop some rice on, but even this seems too much like hard work.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Squitten · 16/03/2015 21:15

What's his excuse for not cooking?

LineRunner · 16/03/2015 21:20

Have you told him this?

Why wouldn't he cook?

Original poster
mrsp2311 · 16/03/2015 21:23

There's no excuse! He has tried pulling the 'but you're so good at it' card, and 'but you love to cook, I don't want to deprive you!'.
Granted I do really enjoy cooking the majority of the time, and I've probably made a rod for my own back by admitting this, but I'm sure even Jamie Oliver wants a night off sometimes!

OP posts:
QueenBean · 16/03/2015 21:25

He's being lazy and you're letting him walk over you

Tell him to get cooking. If he is really useless help him to begin with

I hope the relationship is equal in other ways

WayfaringStranger · 16/03/2015 21:27

Of course YANBU. I'd be a real bitch and refuse to cook for him until he stops being lazy.

cadno · 16/03/2015 21:31

YANBU. Sounds as if he lacks insight about being in a relationship.

Daisy17 · 16/03/2015 21:31

If he doesn't want to cook then why isn't he doing bath and bed whilst you get on in the kitchen? DP and I swap each night, one is on bed duty the other on meal duty. But DP generally prefers cooking to bed duty and I'm the other way around so we often disrupt the order to suit how we feel. But no one ever has to do both! (Unless one of us is out, obviously.)

dreamingbohemian · 16/03/2015 21:36

Is this a joke?

It's 2015. Why on earth are you cooking every night for someone who NEVER cooks for you?

He's being extremely disrespectful and lazy.

Original poster
mrsp2311 · 16/03/2015 21:40

Thanks for being so supportive! I was beginning think I'd missed something and maybe we were still living in 1950!

I think the subject will have to be approached again. If that fails I'll just starve him until he gets the picture!

OP posts:
Daisy17 · 16/03/2015 21:45

mrsp Was I right to assume you do bath and bed and meal every night and he does none of it?

0x530x610x750x630x79 · 16/03/2015 21:48

why don't you get home and bark "right whilst i cook dinner you, bath kids put them to bed etc"

and all you do is cook, and pop up to tuck kids in. that is how it used to work in our house (OH now works away, is this why?)

mayfridaycomequickly · 16/03/2015 21:52

I'd sit myself down with a bowl of cornflakes every night until he got the message.

Original poster
mrsp2311 · 16/03/2015 21:52

Yes daisy that is correct. He says he likes a little while to relax when he gets in from work.
He works in construction so has a physically demanding job, so I can see why he might need a bit of a rest, but my job is so mentally demanding I quite often get home and want to switch my brain off.
Being a mummy it's obviously impossible to switch off and have a 'rest', and being 12 weeks pregnant at the moment I'm just exhausted all the time! Would love him to give me a bit of a break for one night.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsp2311 · 16/03/2015 21:53

Just read that last comment and maybe it's not so much the dinner that's bothering me.....

OP posts:
QueenBean · 16/03/2015 21:55

You're pregnant and he's still treating you like that?

My love, you need to have a chat with him, pronto

ARoomWithoutAView · 16/03/2015 21:55

Tell him henceforth you will split the cooking, he does 3 nights and you do 4. After a few weeks of muesli and cornflakes 3 nights a week he may agree that it wont be so bad to cook 1 or even 2 nights. Just hope it tastes ok when he gets round to it.

ARoomWithoutAView · 16/03/2015 21:57

Tell him that if he cooks at least one night a week, he may just get 'toad in the hole' more often.. Wink

Original poster
mrsp2311 · 16/03/2015 21:58

ARoom that made me chuckle! Grin

OP posts:
NaiceVillageOfTheDammed · 16/03/2015 22:00

Seriously. You work full time. Get in, bath and put DC to bed, then cook dinner. All whilst 'D'H is unwinding from his day at work.

F that.

NaiceVillageOfTheDammed · 16/03/2015 22:01

toad in the hole

More like 'cold shoulder'

Casmama · 16/03/2015 22:03

You need to get this sorted as it will only get worse when you have two kids to look after.

Daisy17 · 16/03/2015 22:03

Good Lord. He really really needs to step up!! Can't believe you both work and yet you do everything in the evening. And you're pregnant?! Foot down, now! Flowers

Casmama · 16/03/2015 22:05

Wwww, I'm sure you're only joking about "toad in the hole" Room but bargaining sex for a token gesture towards housework makes me shudder.

Casmama · 16/03/2015 22:05

Was meant to say eewww!

ARoomWithoutAView · 16/03/2015 22:07

Yes I was only joking Casmama
I didn't mean the OP to cook toad in the hole.

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