AIBU to want to buy a flat if we can't afford a house

[JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth]

Hi all,

I had a small 2 bed house in London that I sold a couple of years ago. Dh and I used the proceeds to clear debts (most were exh's who left me). We've been rebuilding our credit ratings meantime and living in private rental outside London.

We both work full time and have 3 dc who have settled in well to our new town and new life. But I hate private renting. Our first rental was put up for sale after only a few months and there was nowhere else available to rent. I thought we'd be homeless, came close but finally found somewhere else. I'm terrified the new landlord will do the same.

Dh has no problem with renting, he's never owned and doesn't see the point. We have a small 5 per cent deposit which we keep chipping away at and I want to buy a property before we are completely priced out. Dh has finally agreed and mortgage advisor says we're in a good position to apply for a mortgage.

Cheapest 3 bed houses round here are 240k. We earn 67k jointly but so many expenses including train to London.

So today I suggested buying a 3 bed flat with garden for approx 180k. Dh was v unhappy with the idea. He thinks we deserve to live in a house, because "we're not poor".

Wtf

So far he's said no to a 2 bed house, no to shared ownership, no to cheaper villages, no to small pokey houses.

We've put in an offer for a biggish 3 bed but it will need lots of work. And the monthly repayment will be £150 more than our current rent whilst a flat would cost £150 less per month.

I hope to move to a house on afew years. if the flat won't sell at that stage we could remortgage for a deposit and maybe rent it out.

Mners what do you think??

Flats are fine. Nothing wrong with them at all. Go for it if you can persuade your dh.

Maybe he is not fully invested in the idea and will say no until some thing perfect appers so he lets you do all the work but refuses to take any responsibility. Other than saying no has he helped in the search?

Personally I wouldn't want to move into a flat, (or a 2 bed house) with three children. I just think there are too many pitfalls to flats when you are a largeish family, and being overcrowded but not in a position to upgrade would be miserable.

I'd hang on for a house. But I do think your DH needs to be more flexible. What's wrong with shared ownership?

sorry I meant hang on for a 3 bed house

It depends on your neighbours. There are plenty of threads on MN about flat living. My personal preference would be a house. I grew up and lived in downstairs flats until I was 21 and wouldn't want to do it again.

We owned a flat. It was a nightmare. Awful neighbours, residents not contributing to the maintenance funds, lack of funds meaning external disrepair. Never again!

We lived in a flat with a garden with three boys for fifteen years, because we got way more space for the money in our desired location it was fine, worth it for the location and space (it probably helped that the downstairs neighbour was very deaf!). Make sure you have decent storage though.

I think your DH is being stubborn but I can see his pov a bit. Buying a house and moving is a big deal and I wouldn't want to go through it with a view to doing it all again in a year or 2 so I can see why he doesn't want to settle. But he should be prepared to discuss the options seriously if getting back on the ladder is important to you. "We're not poor" isn't good enough imo.

I see both sides. Buying and selling is really expensive, so you may be in the flat longer than you think as you may not be in an easy position to move. Flats are fine, but I understand his reservations.

On the other hand, I totally can see why you want the stability of home ownership.

That said can you afford the house you have got an offer on? If you can, go for it. Mortgage lending is tight so if you get a mortgage you must pass the affordability tests?

How long would it take to get a bigger deposit so you can afford a house?

I would LOVE a house but for what I could afford it would be a skanky house that hadn't been cared for and was not worth the hassle.

I went for a lower cottage with garden that I could afford. Needed a lot of work to bring it up to date/to my taste but was structurally sound and cared for. (Just owned by a wee old lady who was 95 when she died!)

I love it! Yes neighbours can be annoying but ill get my own back with screaming baby but the flat is mine.

Plus, never heard flat = poor theory before! He should come see some of the 3 bed flats in my city that only those with a large income can afford... and I mean eyewateringly expensive!!

It's a stepping stone though isn't it? Foot on property ladder basically.

Can you afford the 150 extra per month on the house you've offered on?

I first bought a flat, and I was not poor.
I now live in a flat and I'm not poor either.

It sounds more like he's making excuses not to buy anything.

Having said that, we bought places that needed a lot of work. We put that work in and they have increased in value and were done to our taste and needs.
If you go for the house that needs work done, consider if you have enough cash to do that work. Make sure you have twice the estimate.

Will you be ok if one of you loses their job? Or has to take a lower salary?

Does the flat being £150 less a month take into account all the managent fees ect.

Flats aren't necessarily for poor people. There are currently 19 3-bedroom properties on Rightmove within a quarter-mile of mine, the most expensive ten are all flats and the median (tenth most expensive one) has an asking price of £1.4 million. The first house on the list, at position 13, is a small modern terrace for £850,000.

Flats aren't necessarily less nice either. I like my flat, I prefer it to 99% of the houses in Britain. I have views over landscaped communal gardens, I would find the average terraced house a depressing and bleak place to live.

He needs to judge properties on their merits.

Thanks so much for all the replies.

I have no clue why he didn't like shared ownership. Just didn't. So I went from part time to full time work to be able to buy outright. Now we are over the threshold for shared ownership anyway.

The mortgage advisor thinks we would pass the affordability tests for a 230k house and our deposit could just about stretch to that. But if we wait much longer our deposit will disappear!

We could afford another 150 a month to pay the mortgage. We'd probably have to cut some expenses. And the house will need lots of work. Cosmetic though.

if your children are above the age of 13 then i think its fine, my friends mum moved to a flat from a house and it was nice.
If you have children below 13 i think its not a good idea to move to a flat (unless you have no choice)

Why are you chipping away at deposit each month - the answer to that should help you make decisions about affordability.

Yeah all those poor bastards living in their penthouses

Thanks for all your pov. I think dh is completely unrealistic about the financial world. His friends all bought property when they were young and are doing well. He didn't bother, didn't see the point. He got a driving licence for me and now he'll buy somewhere to stop me moaning. But yes maybe he isn't fully on board.

Like other posters, I would prefer a house with 3 DCs - purely because it can be hard keeping 3 DCs quiet enough to not annoy the neighbours in a flat (we had 2 DSs in a first floor flat with a very intolerant noise sensitive man downstairs & rubbish soundproofing.)

However, I would have no objection to buying a flat in general. I think the comment about not wanting a flat because "we are not poor" is quite amusing. Has he not seen the price of flats in some parts of the country?
Even here, in the sleepy Midlands, flats are not always cheaper than houses. There are some lovely ones about.

Just pointing out that the flat has a garden.

Personally, with 3 younger children I'd prefer not having stairs, actually.

In many countries, living in a flat is the norm and everyone is quite happy with it, I don't understand the UK antipathy towards living in a flat.

OP, I think you and your DH need to have anotheranother ddiscussion about this, as it seems he's not that bothered about buying a propertproperty and you are.

I'm not fond of one storey living so can empathise with him a bit. But it doesn't sound as though he's being at all reasonable or realistic.

Not all flats have any management fees, I've lived in about five and only one (the newest build type) had fees. I'd prefer a house, but then is actually prefer one with a separate wing for the nanny. It's not going to happen.