AIBU to want to buy a flat if we can't afford a house

[JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth]

Hi all,

I had a small 2 bed house in London that I sold a couple of years ago. Dh and I used the proceeds to clear debts (most were exh's who left me). We've been rebuilding our credit ratings meantime and living in private rental outside London.

We both work full time and have 3 dc who have settled in well to our new town and new life. But I hate private renting. Our first rental was put up for sale after only a few months and there was nowhere else available to rent. I thought we'd be homeless, came close but finally found somewhere else. I'm terrified the new landlord will do the same.

Dh has no problem with renting, he's never owned and doesn't see the point. We have a small 5 per cent deposit which we keep chipping away at and I want to buy a property before we are completely priced out. Dh has finally agreed and mortgage advisor says we're in a good position to apply for a mortgage.

Cheapest 3 bed houses round here are 240k. We earn 67k jointly but so many expenses including train to London.

So today I suggested buying a 3 bed flat with garden for approx 180k. Dh was v unhappy with the idea. He thinks we deserve to live in a house, because "we're not poor".

Wtf

So far he's said no to a 2 bed house, no to shared ownership, no to cheaper villages, no to small pokey houses.

We've put in an offer for a biggish 3 bed but it will need lots of work. And the monthly repayment will be £150 more than our current rent whilst a flat would cost £150 less per month.

I hope to move to a house on afew years. if the flat won't sell at that stage we could remortgage for a deposit and maybe rent it out.

Mners what do you think??

Just buy anything you can afford if you live near London, no way will you ever loose money and will keep your options open

I can't decide if it's immaturity or if he doesn't want to own a lesser property than his friends.

All of us living on one floor would be different to what we're used to but surely that's better than paying someone else's mortgage until they force me to leave

Yes Lonny. I kicked off about the issue a few weeks ago and insisted that he pulls his finger out and houses his family properly. I'd so far done all the leg work. Speaking to the mortgage advisor, estate agents, credit reference agencies. all he had done was say no to all my suggestions. So I finallyhad enough and told him to start helping. The houses he viewed in our price range needed a lot of work but that's all that is available

My one huge reservation about your situation is; what about when the interest rates start to rise?

I wouldn't want to be struggling to buy the house if you're already both working full time unless pay rises are highly likely to be forthcoming in the next few years. Unfortunately dc get older once they hit secondary school too - shockingly so!

I have raised 3 children in a flat but there are pitfalls with noise, either above or below, and neighbours not contributing to shared amaintenance. We are in the upstairs flat and the roof leaks. They dont want to pay to have the roof repaired as they dont see it as their roof, even though the deeds have it as shared and they have to pay a third each. Its causing a lot of stress.
Neighbours are really key to living happily in a flat.

So today I suggested buying a 3 bed flat with garden for approx 180k. Dh was v unhappy with the idea. He thinks we deserve to live in a house, because "we're not poor".

So far he's said no to a 2 bed house, no to shared ownership, no to cheaper villages, no to small pokey houses.

We've put in an offer for a biggish 3 bed but it will need lots of work. And the monthly repayment will be £150 more than our current rent whilst a flat would cost £150 less per month.

It actually sounds like you are in quite a good position to buy, as you have several options. Since your DH isn't involved, personally I'd just tell him what to do and if he doesn't like it, to sling his hook. Holding you back in life just isn't on. He sounds aimless and irresponsible (did he really only learn to drive because you made him?)

I would tend to go for the bigger 3 bedroom if I were you, but nothing at all wrong with a flat. Its where many people start out, and if you don't start out at all then you never even reach that stage.

I think there are definitely pitfalls in buying a flat. But I also know of horrible neighbours in houses.

Life is expensive. Rail tickets are the highest expense after rent. those two expenses take up about 1600 every month. But we earn 4000 in total so I'm hoping the banks will consider us as earning enough to pay for a mortgage. Although to be fair, I really don't know how it works but the mortgage advisor seems positive about our chances

I think you need to get him involved in the leg work - he needs to start hearing about your options from professionals like mortgage advisors, estate agents etc. At the moment it sounds like you're doing the research & coming in with an informed opinion, which he is countering with a massively uninformed/personal opinion, which isn't very workable.

Or just go with Chandler & tell him this is how it's going to be & he can like it or lump it!

Yes I forced him to learn to drive when I was pregnant

That's what I've finally done. Got him working on it. I'd like to move in the summer when our tenancy end. If that's not possible due to lenders and finances and credit rating then fair enough. I'll let the dream go...for now. But to not even try because, it's a flat, or its too small our whatever seems ridiculous

I'm very close to just doing it my way but it's such a big decision to do alone and if it all goes tits up, it'll be, I told you so. Scary

67k income sounds a lot but isn't in London I presume?

I would go for the flat, shared ownership or smaller property because interest rates can only go up.

If his objection really is about living in a "lesser" property than his friends then he really needs a kick up the arse quite frankly.

Eye bags, that's exactly what I plan to do, aswift kick!! It's not a lot of money due to expenses. If interest rates rise I'm sure I'll be buffered in a rental too

Buffered? I meant buggered

67 is a poor persons wage in London. You either need to be richer or poorer with children to live in London, or bought a home before they went crazy.

Journey, go for it. Get the best you can. I was pleasantly surprised by what my mortgage broker came up with - it turns out the mortgage is the same as the rent, which helped my decision. As you say there's not always much choice with rentals. When I got notice to leave this place there were about two I could choose from but neither ideal.

Then you're subject to grotty furniture as not all unfurnished and no way at my age am I starting to sleep on beds that have been slept on by god knows how many people. The cost of moving too, which can happen every six months if unlucky. Then there's the cleaning - who wants to walk on unclean carpets in their bare feet?

Plus in the run up to the tenancy agreement running out, which can be every month if you're monthly, there's the worry is the rent going up or are they going to give notice. You never settle. You begrudge doing anything like decorating, even though I did for my benefit, emulsioning a few walls. I'd even consider a place that needs cosmetic work because once you're in and it's yours you don't really care about it being perfect and you can do things up cheaply and bit by bit. The best thing it's yours. Get a fixed rate for 2-5 years if worried about interest rates rising.

I completely understand how you need/want that security. It will only get harder. Not sure if you said how old you are but you can get a mortgage up to age 70 so possibly you might get a 30 year mortgage. Yes, what you'll pay back in total is stupid but you're paying rent anyway so what's the difference? Plus you have an asset at the end of it.

I forgot to say thanks for the best wishes Journey. Check out the 30 year mortgage (in fact mortgage calculators go beyond this). Your life wont' stay the same for 30 years. You'll remortgage every few years. Some years you might be able to pay down a small lump sum and remortgage for less etc. If you're paying rent and the mortgage is less I don't see why not go for it. Best of luck.

It sounds like you could afford houses in your price range which need doing. I would go for one of those.
(My daughter's remortgage is 30 years and something like 2.6% although I would have gone for 20 years. We took out a 10 one when we moved here)

Gah Journey, how frustrating! Where are you, Hitchin, Royston? I actually don't know that many places nearby though I know most of them are more expensive. The main downside to Letchworth is that it doesn't have the bars/restaurants of Hitchin et al. It's a bit 'duller'. But it also does amazing things for families, has fantastic green space, the schools are improving, shops are improving, etc.

We lived in Hertford before here and I desperately wanted to buy. DH refused to look at Stevenage (concrete jungle) and though I would've bought there, I could see what he meant. He just didn't like the name of Letchworth but once we saw some houses and he looked around he saw the possibilities.

It's so frustrating when you know it will be harder to get on the ladder later and you're not being supported. It looks like you have a number of options. Maybe buying a flat isn't right, maybe moving to a new area isn't right, but what would annoy me most is the refusal to help look for options with you.

Sounds like he doesn't want to do anything which would show your friends you can't afford a house in that specific area. A real shame.

Martin lewis says this year is the best time to get a mortgage!

I don't think it's much different, living in a flat to living in a terraced house, with regards to unpleasant neighbours and noise.

Letchworth is dull (DD2 goes to school there), but I think there are some "ups" to the place. It has a good Italian restaurant, and one of the best Indian restaurants I've been to. It is very green, and well set out. Hitchin is a bit livelier, and a "prettier" town.

Thanks very much everyone.

I woke up at 4am to worry about this some more.

It's hopeful that Martin thinks this is a good year to apply for a mortgage yay!!!

I'd much prefer a house but the prices around here seem to have shot up since we moved here. And there are very few in our price range at the moment. Like 2. Needing work. So that's why I suggested the flat. On closer inspection it appears to be a first floor maisonette with loft and garden. This worries me a bit as to whether our feet wouldmake noise for the people below. I'll view it as soon as possible.

I think that after listening to you all the plan will be to wait to hear of the vendor accepts our offer on that house. If he does then we'll apply for that mortgage and pray it goes through.

If he doesn't accept our offer, the question will be whether to wait to see if more reasonably priced houses come onto the market in our town or just put in an offer on the maisonette.

I'm wondering whether people are holding off selling until after the election ???

I didn't know that anyone other than millionaires could afford an actual house in London (unless by "London" you mean anything outside of zone 3).

I know a few,people who have managed to buy property, but absolutely no one who has an actual house in London. The,only people I know with a house are:

a couple who live in the outskirts of London in one of the,smaller towns on the,commuter,belt

a bank trader who,also owns a boat

for me, owning a house in London is an impossibility.

I,think,flats are,fantastic, but depend on the layout, amount of space, etc.

it sounds like your,dh is being very unrealistic in his,expectations, and probably,quite,stubborn. If,he,doesn't care about buying then I can see why he would be so difficult about it.

People I know who own houses in Greater London.

Zone 4 - semi, bought theirs initially in the late 90s, northwest

zone 3 - semi, owned for decades, nice leafy area, north - remorgaged to buy smaller house to let

Me - zone 6 - after purchasing in 2002, doing up and selling flat, then bought small terraced house in need of a lot of work, north east. Not a London post-code (but London tax)

This worries me a bit as to whether our feet would make noise for the people below.
I wouldn't worry about that, more if it was the other way around. :)

Lweji - ha! I'd just hate to always be shushing the kids. Maybe I'll speak to the neighbour downstairs when I view

We're looking to buy about 40 miles outside of London. But even that's very pricey. I've lots of family with houses in.north east London but all bought in the eighties. Impossible now.

Yes dh is imho being completely unrealistic and unreasonable. There is precious little available in our price range. He should have some form of plan of action no?

AmnieLouise - thanks for your words of wisdom. We will definitely be wanting a 30 year mortgage