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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mother's Day, Church and Brownies

83 replies

curlyweasel · 13/03/2015 13:19

DD is a brownie at a unit associated with a local church. Yesterday I got a slip from the Brown Owl stating that DD is expected at church this Sunday at 10.15am to represent her unit and that she must bring me along (to be presented with flowers). Apparently, as a unit associated with this particular church, attendance is very important.

AIBU to tell them to do one? AIBU to expect to stay in bed until at least 11am hopefully with a hangover and to spend MD with my daughter and baby son as I see fit?

Part of me thinks that as I signed her up for this particular unit, then we should go. The other part thinks this is actually a day for me to chose what I want to do (slight disclaimer: we do do other activities outside of the weekly Brownie meeting e.g. Rememberance Sunday march).

I want a lie in!

OP posts:

bendybrickpumpkinpatch · 13/03/2015 13:20

YABU you signed her up and its not an unknown thing that the Brownies are involved with the church.

OhNoNotMyBaby · 13/03/2015 13:22

YANBU but you should still go. Unless your daughter isn't bothered, in which case you can have your lie in. But my daughters definitely wanted to join in these things and to have me there too. I suspect you might even enjoy it and find it very touching

MonstersBalls · 13/03/2015 13:22

I'd say that Dd couldn't make it because you already have plans. Saves face for everyone.

Elisheva · 13/03/2015 13:23

YANBU but I don't think you need to tell them to 'do one'! Maybe a note to say thanks for the thought but your dd can't attend church parade as you have plans?

Original poster

curlyweasel · 13/03/2015 13:24

Isn't it? I didn't know to be honest (I never went as a child).

Am happy to be told IBU, but I guess I don't feel the occasion merits the importance being put on it.

OP posts:

meglet · 13/03/2015 13:25

yanbu. We do everything else with beavers and cubs but I wouldn't do mothers days church. I'm a LP and have to deal with enough tantrums on weekday mornings, last thing I'd want is one on mothers day.

silveroldie2 · 13/03/2015 13:25

What about asking your daughter for her opinion?

Original poster

curlyweasel · 13/03/2015 13:27

Well, I used the term 'do one' lightly. Brown Owl is way too scary for me to do that.

DD doesn't want to go. She wants to make me breakfast in bed and cuddle up and watch Singing in the Rain.

DP is suggesting he takes her and DS (which means I get a "real" lie in and he doesn't have to pay for any flowers).

OP posts:

fredfredgeorgejnr · 13/03/2015 13:27

YANBU. You do not have to attend if you do not want to.

HootyMcTooty · 13/03/2015 13:28

I went to Brownies and always missed the church services, I wasn't interested. Is DD keen to take part or would she prefer to do something at home?

Original poster

curlyweasel · 13/03/2015 13:28

Silver - see previous post. She doesn't want to go, but I feel obliged because of signing her up to that particular unit. I think I may go with Monsters suggestion.

OP posts:

MrsCakesPrecognitionisSwitched · 13/03/2015 13:32

I refused to take DD to any Mothering Sunday services while she was a Brownie. I sat through all the other religious events they were asked to attend, because I think it is important she has a cultural understanding of religion (even though I am not religious myself). But I think it is beyond unreasonable for mothers to have to get up early on Mothering Sunday, and to be fair the Brownie leaders never said a word.

Marynary · 13/03/2015 13:32

YANBU. You don't have to be a christian or go to church to be a brownie nowadays so you haven't "signed up" to go to church on Mothers day.

Morelikeguidelines · 13/03/2015 13:34

If dd doesn't want to go think up a reason why not.

Silly idea of there's to make up a requirement that prevents mums having a md lie in.

If dd had wanted to go I would have said do it for her though.

RufusTheReindeer · 13/03/2015 13:36

Yanbu

A lie in on Mother's Day is very important

Original poster

curlyweasel · 13/03/2015 13:36

I did mention the ungodlyearthly hour to the Revd. Canon (daughter in same unit). He asked me what kind of mother I was, intending to still being in bed at that time!!!

I'm really not sure whether he was joking or not.

OP posts:

NurseRoscoe · 13/03/2015 13:37

Oh I don't know, I think I would rather be presented with flowers from my child than lay in bed with a hangover, done my time of that before becoming a mum!

Each to their own though, you do whatever you want to on Mother's Day

SylvaniansAtEase · 13/03/2015 13:42

'So sorry but we have commitments with the wider family on Mothering Sunday'

Cousin Duvet and Uncle Cuppa

Pastamancer · 13/03/2015 13:42

Our rules say that we are not allowed to make church attendance compulsory. There will be pressure from the church to the leaders to attend as this is a sponsored unit but no member of Girlguiding can be made to go so don't feel guilty for not going.

I am one of the rebellious leaders that joined before us atheists were officially allowed :o

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 13/03/2015 13:44

10.15 is hardly the crack of dawn, surely you can have your lie-in till about 9.30, do the church thing, which will be lovely and then come home for lunch and film watching in the afternoon.

Original poster

curlyweasel · 13/03/2015 13:45

Ah Past, that explains his comments then.

I've sent my apologies but fear my card is marked with BO.

OP posts:

Original poster

curlyweasel · 13/03/2015 13:48

I want a real lie in Who. I currently get up at 5/6am most days and after doing school/nursery run, FT job then tea, bedtime stuff, I don't tend to settle until 9pm (when I generally go to bed). Just a long, long rest reading a book, having a coffee without disturbance would be lovely

OP posts:

Pastamancer · 13/03/2015 13:49

Girlguiding does not subscribe to any particular faith or religion and believes that every member should be encouraged to explore their beliefs and to take an active part in the religion or faith of her family and community where appropriate.

Leaders and Commissioners should take account of the special requirements of the faiths of unit members – such as dress, diet or holiday days – when planning unit programmes and other events.

Attendance at any act of worship must always be voluntary and be seen as part of the spiritual development of the individual member. Attendance at church parade or any religious gathering is not part of the guiding programme.

No young member under 16 may attend a service of a faith or denomination other than her own, as a guiding event, without the consent of an adult with parental responsibility for her.

^This is a direct cut and paste from the Guiding Manual

DinoSnores · 13/03/2015 13:50

I am another Brownie leader here like Pastamancer (why are you posting on MN and not having that baby of yours??? ) so she's beaten me to it to say that church attendance is never ever compulsory.

guidingmanual.guk.org.uk/policies/equality_and_diversity.aspx

"Attendance at any act of worship must always be voluntary and be seen as part of the spiritual development of the individual member. Attendance at church parade or any religious gathering is not part of the guiding programme."

DinoSnores · 13/03/2015 13:50

Aargh, and then she beats to quoting from the Manual!

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